Lay Me Down
by waitingfornow
Summary: AU/AH: Schae Jennings left Forks, Washington for bigger and better things. Four years later, she's come back to face everything...and one she ran from.
1. Chapter 1

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I've already got a new story up and ready for posting! I really don't know what's wrong with me today. I blame the need for distractions from missing my husband. Anyway! New story, new plotline and things to be unfolded. Enjoy and please let me know what you think. This one is going to be a little different, I've decided to branch out again and tackle the Cullen world from an adult's point of view. Which means this story is AU as well as AH._

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I'm just a poor military wife._

* * *

**Chapter One:**

He left.

The words echoed through my mind painfully as I stared at my new surroundings. There was part of me that still couldn't believe this twisted turn of events. How had I ended up _here_?! My entire life, an existance that I could be proud of and had wanted for such a long time was stretched out at my fingertips. But I'd left it all. A promising job at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Illinois; a great apartment that I was finally beginning to be able to pay for, friends that were willing to do almost anything I asked of them....

My first real relationship ruined all of that and I did the only thing I could think to do; I ran. Chicago held too many memories that I just could not overcome. So when the offer from Forks Community Hospital was presented to me, I took it and didn't think twice. There was nothing left for me in the home I'd painstakingly built up for myself.

"Is everything okay?" I jumped and looked over my shoulder guility when I heard my new roommate's voice. I'd answered an online ad without really investigating, but had been pleasantly surprised when I arrived in Forks and found that I not only knew my new roommate, but I'd been sort of friendly with her back in high school.

Growing up in a small town like Forks, Washington, where everyone knew everyone and thing was difficult. But this was the only safe haven I knew, even if a lot of my years were still painted in an unhealthy light.

Isabella Swan, or Bella as she'd always been known as, hadn't changed one bit since her days as a student at Forks High. There were small changes presenting themselves, but for all intents and purposes; she was still the same girl I'd say hi to every day when we crossed paths at school. Her hair was much longer now, still a thick chestnut brown that fell in waves to the small of her back. She was as tiny as she'd been four years ago but her figure had lost some of it's roundness as she transferred from girl to woman. She had also just come back to Forks for a job and secured a pretty decent apartment. Two bedrooms, a spacious bathroom that could accomidate us both just fine.

"Yeah." I smiled and nodded, stepping out into the hallway so she could show me around the rest of the apartment, letting me know where she'd put things since she had been back in town for almost two weeks longer than I had. She'd done just as I had, packed up her entire life and returned home to start over again. One of many common bonds between us.

In the coming fall, with the start of the new school year, she would begin teaching English Literature at our alma mater. I'd always known that Bella Swan would do something reguarding English. But for the time being, she was living off the money she'd saved through the last school year. From the limited information I had, she'd left a pretty nice job in Seattle to return home and be closer to her father, Chief Swan.

"Everything's cool." I smiled and went on as my eyes swept over the new and immaculate surroundings of our home. Even though she had just moved in and our stuff hadn't started tumbling together yet, the place already had a homey and lived-in atmosphere that my childhood home had lost when I was just thirteen. I honestly couldn't have picked a better place to start over if I'd consciously done so.

"I'm glad." She nodded and smiled at me before motioning down the hall that led into the living room, kitchen, and small dining area. "I was about to make some dinner. Any requests?"

I snickered in spite of myself and shrugged as I followed her through the freshly painted hallway. "As long as it's not fast food, I'm good to go."

Bella laughed as well and shook her head slowly as we entered the kitchen. Dispositing myself at the table that Bella had found when she first moved in, I cupped my chin in my hand and watched as she strode over to the freezer to see what was inside.

"Hmm." She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth then looked over at me. "There's a lot in here that needs to be thawed out and that'll take some time. How hungry are you? I know you've been travelling all day."

One of the best things about Bella Swan was her personality. If a person got close enough to her, or cemented themselves in her life in any kind of way; she was fiercely loyal and attentive. I'd been blessed to be one of those people. Her memory reached back farther than I would've liked it to.

"We can always go to the diner." I suggested, wrinkling my nose slightly at the thought of mixing with the townsfolk so soon after my arrival. But I was famished and I didn't want Bella to think she _had_ to cook. "But I mean, it's up to you."

"I don't mind cooking, Schae." She sighed and walked over to the table, sitting down in front of me before she mirrored my posture.

I snickered and relaxed my arms onto the table. "Let's just go to the diner for my first night back. Besides, I gotta start mixing back in sooner or later. And since I start at the hospital in just three days, why not now?" I joked, even smiling brightly before it dimmed into a small grin. "My treat. Think of it as a way of saying thank you for letting me move in with you."

She stayed silent for a few minutes then smiled and nodded as she stood, pushing herself away from the table with her hands. "You've got yourself a deal then. Want to change or anything before we head out?"

Glancing down at my clothes, which was still a worn pair of jeans, my much-beloved Converse and a concert tee shirt I'd picked up during my teenage years, I just shrugged and grinned up at her. "If you can stand to be seen with me looking as grungy as I am right now, then I'm golden."

Bella's answering laugh pushed me away from the table and we didn't say anything as we treked down the hallway to retrieve keys. She still had the ancient truck she'd driven when we were still in school and from the looks of things, that poor beast was finally on its last legs.

"I'll drive." I announced and flicked my keys at her. She jokingly groaned but followed me out onto the porch. Once the door was locked up and her own keys were shoved into the confines of her purse, we crossed the small yard to my second-hand, convertible VW Bug. With the weather in Forks, having a convertible was pretty much stupid and I was already making plans to sell the thing for a more sensable set of wheels. Either that or I would give it to Bella so she had more reliable transportation. I just had to make enough money to put a down payment on a new car first.

The drive to the diner was made with both of us singing along with the mix CD that was in my car's stereo. We traded good-natured ribbing about some of the songs I had selected, but I caught her singing along when I finally killed the engine in front of the diner and pulled the keys from the ignition.

"I thought you had better taste in music than that." She teased and carefully climbed to her feet as I shoved my keys into the front pockets of my jeans. Making sure that my cell phone was safely tucked in the my back right pocket, I just rolled my eyes at her and stuck my tongue out. I would've reached out and gently nudged her, but Bella wasn't exactly known for her balance and coordination.

It would go over _so_ well if I made her face plant right in front of our once-favorite hangout.

The interior of the Forks Coffee Shop hadn't changed a tiny bit as we walked inside and selected a table. It was always the same one, much to my relief. Right in the corner, wedged between two windows that overlooked the main road and the parking lot.

"Hey girls." Our waitress smiled as she came to the table, laying her hands on the back of an empty chair across from us. As soon as she looked at me, her face froze in shock.

Snickering, I just shook my head silently and laid my bare arms on the table top. I felt it when her eyes glanced down and noticed the tattoos on the inside of my wrists, covering faint scars that I had only started showing once the skin had been tattooed with black and gray ink. "Hi Carla." I muttered and waved slightly.

"Schae Jennings." She breathed and continued to stare at me flabbergasted. This was what I hated most about small towns. "I didn't know you were back in town."

"Just arrived today." I announced with a fake, cheery smile on my face. Bella snickered and I shoved my foot to the left to lightly catch her in the shin. She jumped and scowled at me, which seemed to thaw our waitress out.

"What can I get you two to drink?" She asked and straightened up, somehow remembering that she was at work and needed to be professional if she wanted to make any money off of serving us. It was laughable to me that a girl we'd gone to high school with, a girl that hated the ground I walked on, would now be serving our food.

Carla Michaelson had had all the boys panting after her while we progressed through school and she'd had such high hopes for her life beyond school. She always talked about getting out of Forks and making it big in some big city. Apparently my plans weren't the only ones that had gone haywire somewhere along the way.

We ordered two cokes, as well as garden burgers with fries, then rolled our eyes once Carla was a safe distance away.

"Welcome home." Bella grinned at me then grimaced. I couldn't help myself, snickering so loudly at the changes of her expressions that I drew the attention of a nearby set of guys that were just finishing up their meal. I didn't recognize them though, so there was hope for the silent duo yet.

"Forks." I muttered and smiled cheesily, even flattening my cheek against my shoulder. "No place like it in the world."

"That's cause they bombed it off the map." Bella muttered and we were still laughing almost hysterically when Carla returned with our sodas. She deposited them and quickly disappeared into the back.

Probably so she could begin the circuit of rumors that would not leave me alone for a very long time.

Oh, how I had missed small town living.

* * *

I yawned tiredly as I shuffed from my bedroom, into the bathroom. My first day of work and all I wanted was to crawl back into bed and yank the covers up over my head. But, alas, I couldn't. The bills wouldn't pay for themselves and I was already burning through what little savings I'd managed to put aside for myself in case of an emergency.

Like, relocating to my hometown after a four-year disappearing act. I could practically _hear_ the rumors swirling about my return. Not to mention my appearance and how different I looked now than I had upon graduation.

Stopping at the mirror, I gazed at my reflection a little longer that nessessary, trying to map out the exact changes. I'd been a geek in high school. There was no other proper way to put it. My hair was always short because of my single father having no idea how to help a teenage girl properly groom herself. I was the quinessential tomboy, playing the small selection of sports offered to the female student body. None of those had been cheerleading, that was where my line was drawn. I'd worn glasses, had braces until I was nineteen years old, and was a little on the overweight side.

The woman staring back at me looked nothing like the girl that had last gazed into this mirror. My eyes were still the same, light gray with flecks of green around the irises. My hair had grown out and I managed to keep it right below my shoulders. It was thin and in a moment of sheer stupidity, dyed yet black. It paled my features ot some, but I'd always been a little on the sallow side thanks to the fact that the sun just did not exist in Forks. I was much slimmer now than in high school, standing at a solid 5'3" with the muscular build I'd been chasing all throughout high school.

Grimacing at my reflection, I just raked a hand through my limp hair and started the shower. A quick test to the taps and I thanked Bella for leaving me some hot water after her shower this morning. Once I had my clothes discarded and piled neatly on the floor, I hopped in and began rituals that took no thought at all.

Which was a good thing considering I always counted on showers and one good cup of coffee to wake me up.

I wrapped my hair up in a thick, fluffy white towel and draped a matching one around my body before I gathered up my clothes and headed back for my bedroom. Bella had been nice enough to give me the bedroom in the back of the apartment, which was located caddycorner to the communal bathroom. She had the slightly larger room in front, like I'd known she would. It was a little further away from the bathroom though and I knew she'd made her decision based on professions. Mine called for late nights, her's did not. Plus she'd gotten here first, first one in always got their pick of bedrooms.

I dressed quickly and without really studying the light blue scrubs I pulled on, slapping large bandages into place over my wrists so that my tattoos were no longer visible. That was the only downside to my job, I had to hide all body art. Thinking of that reminded me of my only facial jewelry. That was popped out as well before I forgot and ended up in trouble on my first day. I toweled my hair dry as I shoved my socked feet into the standard issue white shoes that nurses usually wore then headed out into the living room that was located just off the hall, using my fingers to comb through my still-damp locks.

I'd never really been a breakfast person before I started working in hospitals. I had a strange aversion to food sometimes anyway, some called it an eating disorder, I called it coping oddly, but I'd overcome that to keep my stomach from growling at the most inopportune moments. I never knew when I would get enough time to eat and I'd never been one of those girls that brought snacks to work. That was just too much food and it had taken me a lot to lose all of my childhood weight.

Much like I had the night before with Bella, I sang along with the radio as I drove to work, my belly full with Lucky Charms and milk. Breakfast of champions, I'd go to my grave thinking and standing by that. I was surprised to find a semi-decent parking space and locked my tiny, silver car up before heading inside. I didn't have my security badge yet and hoped like hell that the security guard on duty wasn't a douchebag that liked to hassle newbies. Turns out, I didn't really have anything to worry about! The guy recognized me from...somewhere and accepted my scpiel about being new and not having a badge yet with ease. Security just wasn't an issue when there wasn't much crime in the town.

Approaching the check-in desk just inside the ER, I smiled at the woman sitting behind the low-topped desk. She was bored out of her mind and didn't really care who knew it or saw her staring blankly into space.

"Hi." I mumbled and lightly slapped my hands on the counter between us. "I'm Schae Jennings, the new nurse hired to the Emergency Room. I'm looking for Rachelle Evans."

"That's me." The woman brightened considerably when she suddenly had something to do and stood up. I met her at the small gate that kept the general public out of the reception desk and nodded when she waved me back. "I see you don't have a badge yet, and I'll try to give you some time to get down there and have that made up. But for now, just stick by me and no one will bug you. Also, I notice you have some bandages on your wrists. Please say you read the rule book and those are for tattoos, not regretted scarring."

"Tattoos." I muttered then nodded as I followed her into the breakroom designated for nurses only. After stowing my bag in the locker that would be known as mine, I had my stethascope in place and ready when Rachelle went for the door.

"How much experience do you have in ERs?" She asked as we stepped out into the main part of Forks Memorial's emergency room. It was a lot simplier than the one in Chicago, which I was grateful for. But the space was decorated almost the exact same way, in the same color palette and everything. I bet interior designers that specialized in hospital decor made a _killing._

"About six months." I answered, leaning over her shoulder slightly so she could hear me over the bubbly voices from a couple of nurses nearby. They looked up when we passed and I squelched a grimace before it could fully form on my features. I'd never really been great at making good first impressions, but I was working on it! "I worked at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago before transferring here."

"Oh." Rachelle sounded insultingly shocked as she turned to face me. "That's good. I won't have to baby you too much then, will I?"

"Not really." I answered casually and shook my head. But before the conversation could fully take off, what with our flowing sentences and witty banter being tossed back and forth, I was standing in front of the most important doctor on our floor. A doctor I remembered from my own childhood.

How in the _hell_ could I have forgotten that the hospital I just transferred to just so happened to be the same one Dr. Carlisle Cullen worked at?!

There was a piece of my subconscious that had probably been hoping he wouldn't remember me. But then again, this _was_ Forks. No one in Forks forgot anything about anyone. Ever. Nor did they let people live things down.

I was sure Chief Swan was going to tease me about a few of my teenage indiscressions whenever I went with his daughter to visit him for the first time since I'd come back.

"Dr. Cullen." I blurted out, smiling in surprise as he turned to face me.

"Schae Jennings?" He asked, even going so far as to squint at me. Not that he nessessarily needed to. His eyesight was still perfect, blonde hair styled exactly as it had been when I was a child. The laugh lines around his eyes and at the corners of his lips had deepened some into his pale skin. But other than that, he still looked like the same handsome doctor that had taped me up a time or two. Or ten.

"Yes sir." I chirped and even rocked up onto the balls of my feet as I nodded, hands clasped behind my back.

"Please tell me you work here." He teased, eyeing my scrubs before his bright blue eyes refocused on my facial features.

"I do." I consented with a small snicker and gestured at the pocket on the front of my scrubs. Which just so happened to be without a nametag. Convienent. "I just haven't gone through all the proper channels yet."

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of this place in no time." He responded warmly, lightly grasping my shoulder before he was called to see a patient that was demanding more meds. Forks may have been a really small town, but every small town had a seedy section of the population that they kept out of the brochures. That same population seemed to thrive on hospitals and gaining whatever medical advances they could.

Rachelle rejoined me and led me through the rest of what would be my morning duties. All I really had to focus on before lunch time was making sure the charts were all filled out and any doctor's order that required immediate attention was followed to the exact letter. For a while, I'd have to have supervision while I did that, just to make sure I was following proper hospital procedure.

The patient traffic at Forks Community Hospital didn't really get bad until the weekends, when hikers and other outdoorsmen came in needing help when the prey fought back. While I'd always wanted the fast pace life of a big city ER, I was strangely comfortable settling into the routine that would greet me each day I showed up for work at Forks Community.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ The next chapter! I'm so glad to see excitement over this new story. I really hope y'all like what I have planned for this one._

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I'm just a poor military wife._

* * *

**Chapter Two:**

My entire body felt like I'd attached weights to my legs as I worked through my first shift at Forks Community Hospital. It was strange to me, to feel so tired when I'd been doing this for a very long time. Twelve hour shifts had been no problem back in Chicago but yet, here I was suffering after only eight hours.

I just needed to get used to the routine of a new hospital. I'd been bombarded with all sorts of new information and new faces that had names attached. The names of my colleagues and superiors.

Running a hand across the back of my head, I sighed dejectedly and gripped the counter in front of me. I'd finally made it back to the nurse's station after my last set of rounds. Rachelle had allowed me to do that on my own, claiming that I would need the time alone to acclimate myself to everything better. She wasn't going to hover and I appreciated that from my supervisor.

"Are you okay?" I jumped at the source of a new voice, one I hadn't heard while working the entire day away. Slowly turning around, I blinked in surprise when I came face to face with someone I'd spent every day of my high school career staring at. But it was always from afar. The person standing before me probably wouldn't remember the girl I'd used to be, the girl that watched him and his family move through the school as if they owned the place.

"I'm fine." I replied and smiled reassuringly at him. I knew why he was here, it was obvious that he was a child of Dr. Cullen. But I couldn't overcome the instinct to play dumb. Maybe he didn't recognize me from our childhoods. Perhaps I could start over and pretend that girl no longer existed. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

The young man laughed and it sounded like a symphony of bass. The light caught his honey blonde curls as he shifted then shook his head, pale blue eyes staring searchingly into mine. "I'm just here to meet my dad. You wouldn't happen to know where Dr. Cullen is, would you?"

"Oh." I flushed, a reaction that I could force at will thanks to lots of practice and shrugged sheepishly. "I don't, I'm sorry. Have you already tried his office on the third floor?"

He smiled then nodded, stepping a little closer to me when I turned to refocus on my paperwork. It would give me something to do, other than staring openly at him. He was just as gorgeous now as he'd been when we were kids. His sharp features were a little more prominant against his pale skin, his body impossibly lean but with more muscular definition than I remembered. And I'd stared at him a lot in the past. "That was the first place I tried."

"Ah." I nodded sympathetically then looked up when Rachelle suddenly appeared.

"Schae - oh!" Whatever she'd just been about to say died on her tongue when she saw the guy standing next to me. They exchanged friendly smiles before I held my hand up slightly.

"I just finished my rounds, all of the charts are signed from my patients. Is there anything else you need me to do before I go home?"

Again, Rachelle opened her mouth to say something but the young man to my left interjected kindly. "Would it be possible for me to borrow her, Mrs. Evans? I can't seem to find my father."

"That's fine." Rachelle flushed and glanced at me from beneath her heavily mascaraed eyes. "As long as you don't mind. I don't have anything else that needs your attention. It can all wait until the next nurse clocks in."

"Sure." I nodded and shrugged. I honestly had no idea how to help the person standing next to me, but it was probably the easiest request I'd had all day. Glancing up at him, I smiled bravely and gestured toward the back where the nurses' lounge was. "Just let me grab my stuff and I'll meet you over by the elevators?"

"All right." He nodded then smiled warmly at me as he bowed slightly at the waist, moving closer to my ear. "And thanks for helping me."

"Save the thanks." I laughed and grinned up at him as I moved toward the entrance gate. "Let's wait on that in case I can't help you find your dad."

He laughed again and nodded then I turned to make my hasty exist. Rachelle followed me of course, hiding her burning curiosity until we were locked up in the break room and I was pulling the stethascope from around my neck.

"It looks like you've officially met one of Dr. Cullen's children."

"How many does he have?" I asked, looking up at her in innocent curiosity as I fiddled with my purse. A quick check of my phone told me that I had one missed call, probably from Bella. I'd be able to call her once I was outside and reception had been restored to my phone. There was a text message as well, which I hadn't counted on being there. Shaking my head slightly, I shoved the little blue slider phone into one of the waist pockets of my shirt and slung my bag on over my shoulder.

"He has five and they're all insanely good looking. Only two are biologically his though."

"Really?" I murmered in fabricated awe and stepped toward the door. "So the other three are, what...foster children?"

"Adopted." She supplied and followed me back out into the hallway. From our vantage point, I could see the young man with honey blonde curls pacing slowly in front of the elevators, looking around every once in a while to see if I was approaching. I quickly ducked out of the way and looked at Rachelle curiously.

"Who's the one here now?"

"That would be Jasper Hale." She informed me, her voice dropping into the gossipy whisper I knew so well. The entire town just _loved _to whisper about the things they didn't nessessarily understand. "He's one of Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's adopted children. He has a twin sister named Rosalie, they were sweet enough to adopt her too so that the pair wouldn't be split up."

"Ah." I nodded and peeked out from the food cart half-jammed with desicated trays. "Well I shouldn't keep him waiting."

"Okay." Rachelle smiled conspiritously at me and I laughed lightly. "Go make sure you get your badge too, okay? I'm sorry I couldn't give you enough time to do it during your shift."

"No worries." I smiled and waved as I moved toward my waiting companion. "I'll have it when I come in tomorrow." She just nodded and waved, smiling in an odd sort of way as I turned and joined Jasper at the elevators.

"Sorry I kept you waiting." I smiled sheepishly at him then reached out to press the down button on the elevator.

"It's no problem." He answered back with a small grin and shoved his hands deeper into the front pockets of his worn jeans. "I'm just grateful you agreed to help me. I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but you look like you're dead on your feet right now."

"I _feel_ like death warmed over." I laughed out and stepped inside once the elevator had dinged and the large metal doors slid open. I jumped back in surprise when Jasper came up behind me, only to have us come face to face with Dr. Cullen. "That was fast!" I snickered in spite of myself and turned to lean back against the right, empty side of the elevator.

Father and son exchanged a hug then both turned to look at me. "I see you've met my son, Jasper."

"I have." I nodded then completely remembered that I hadn't formally introduced myself to him. Straightening up, I rubbed one sweaty palm over my thigh then extended my hand to Jasper. "I'm Schae Jennings, one of the new nurses."

"Nice to meet you." He replied and polietely shook my hand before releasing it. I shivered a little at the contact, frowing at the weird sort of shock that passed between us. But that took a backseat when I saw the peculiar reaction on Jasper's face. He'd no doubt made a connection between my name and my origins. Forks High wasn't as big as I'd wanted it to be back then and I could practically see the wheels turning as he tried to figure out just which face I'd been and if he'd ever had any contact with me before.

But, before he could get the chance to question me, the elevator opened onto our designated floor and I hastily stepped out. "Nice to meet you too and I'm glad you found your father." My cheeks flushed again but I played it off as best I could as I shoved one hand into the deep pocket of my purse. "I'll see you later, Dr. Cullen."

"Thank you for all your help today." He replied, smiling at me just seconds before I turned and started down the long hallway. When I got to the Human Resources office, I wanted to groan aloud when I encountered a bit of a line. But my purse was big enough to accomodate a small paperback and I'd shoved one in the night before just in case. Working in a hospital, while exciting, could be so mindnumblingly boring that jumping off high surfaces soon sounded good.

I checked in and filled out the nessessary paperwork once it was my turn then was sent to have a seat to wait until it was my turn to take the picture for my ID. Plopping down dutifully, I pulled my beloved paperback out and began reading. I had selected at random the night before, not really caring what type of story I carried around with me. It just so happened that my selection was my absolute favorite book, _We The Living_ by Ayn Rand. I used to get a lot of stares for reading her works while I was still in school, but I could've cared less. Once I'd found and read _Atlas Shrugged_, I wanted to read more by the long-deceased author.

Eventually my name was called, picture was taken, and I left once I had my official badge. It felt good to have it now clipped to the front of my shirt, but knew that I would start searching for some kind of lanyard as soon as I got home. I kept bumping it and had to stop twice in the parking lot to pick the silly thing up after successfully dislodging it from my shirt.

Once I was inside my car, with the engine running; I grabbed my phone and listened to my voice message first. I'd been right in assuming it was from Bella. She'd gone to the store and wanted to know if I was cool with having lasagna for supper. Smiling at her thoughtfulness, I deleted the message and exited out of my voicemail before I remembered the mysterious text.

It was strange how I'd completely forgotten about in the course of about thirty minutes. Sliding my phone open again to unlock the keys, I dredged the tiny message up and gasped when I saw the sender's name, as well as the text message.

_Kinda pathetic that you couldn't deal with a simple break-up and ran home to your parents._

I slid the phone closed and flipped it into the passenger seat. I didn't even care if the message was still on the screen or if I'd somehow damaged a pretty pricey little phone. I just pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the apartment. I was so close that I didn't really need to call Bella and tell her that lasagna for dinner was fine.

I just hoped I could regain my appetite in time for the meal to be done and on the table. I refused to let this affect me, I didn't want anyone having the wrong impression about me.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Sorry I'm so slow in getting chapters out for this story. I have a rough outline of what I want to write, but most of this is just fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda writing. Anyway, thanks so much for taking the time out to read and review. It's always appreciated._

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I'm just a poor military wife._

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

"That tasted _so_ good." I enthused as I plunged my hands into the scalding hot water filling the sink basin. "Where did you learn to cook like that?!"

Bella laughed and her cheeks tinted lightly as she put the last pile of dishes on the counter to my right. "Just trial and error. My mom wasn't all that great of a cook and I don't know how Dad survived before I came to live with him."

I snickered and nodded thoughtfully. "Lots of meals at the diner. I remember him being my best customer for a while."

"I remember that!" She laughed out and picked up her glass of tea, pausing to take a drink as she rested her hip against the low counter. "How did you convince them to let you start working there before you were sixteen?"

Ahh, she'd heard the stories of me sweetalking my way into a job. From her father, no doubt. I just shrugged and concentrated on the plate in my hands, scrubbing it before I set it in the joined sink to be rinsed off. "The hiring manager was a real good friend of my dad's. He knew that I needed a job to keep my family afloat and cut me a break. I just wasn't put on the books until my sixteenth birthday officially hit. I thought Charlie was going to have a heart attack when he came in and saw me waiting tables."

We laughed lightly at the remembered moment then I sighed. "Your dad was cool too. He could've blown the whole deal for me but let me slide. Just as long as I wasn't passing beers out to the customers, he didn't care."

Glancing up, I caught the small smile on Bella's face as I finished cleaning another dish. She sighed wistfully, probably longing for the good old days when she'd been under her father's care. Or maybe she was just worrying about how life had been for him before she moved back.

Either way, I decided to change the subject. "So guess who I ran into today."

That snapped her right out of her daze and her chocolate eyes lit up as she hopped up onto the counter on the other side of the sink. "Who was it? I have a few names in mind but I don't want to be wrong."

I snickered and shook my head, pulling my hands from the soapy water so I could start getting the dishes drying. While the kitchen did have a dishwasher built into one of the floor cabinets, I needed and welcomed the distraction of washing them by hand. Plus it was one way I could contribute since Bella liked to cook so much. "Jasper Hale, do you remember him?"

The gasp I recieved was confirmation enough for me as I finished up the dishes then drained the sink, wrapping my hands in the dishtowel Bella held out for me, her face shocked but a little expectant. She just couldn't decide on whether or not to ask for more information. Especially considering we'd sometimes made fun of all the gossipy girls in our grade.

"Yeah, I remember him." She exhaled and shook her head slowly. "I knew that his brother Edward was back in town but I figured he was still up in Seattle."

"Nope." I shook my head slowly to emphasise my words and looked at her again. "He came in looking for his dad. Which was weird in and of itself. I completely blanked on Dr. Cullen working there until I walked inside this morning."

Bella snickered then quickly looked up at me apologetically. I just pretended to scowl at her and snapped the towel at her before setting it aside. She laughed again and hopped off the counter to join me in the living room. I fell onto the couch with a loud sigh, stretching my arms above my head as I reclined against the plush sofa. "I told him I'd help him look for his dad."

"How'd that go?" Bella asked, settling into the chair we'd set up in between the couch and the front door, wrinkling her nose at me.

"It was okay." I shrugged and turned my head to look up at her as my hands slapped against my stomach. I'd been so hungry when I got home that I hadn't even bothered to change out of my scrubs yet. Not that I'd ever really had the dire need to change clothes. My uniform was just way too comfy for words sometimes and I frequently admitted to having lazy habits. "As soon as the elevator doors opened, there he was. The search lasted maybe five minutes."

She snickered again, there was another apologetic look that I had to wave off. I sat up and sighed, pulling a leg to my chest as Bella moved from the chair to the sofa. Or rather, tripped her way from one destination to another. "Did he recognize you?"

"I'm not sure." I mused and leaned my head back against the couch. "I played dumb and acted like I had no idea who he was, but when I told him my name, he looked at me strange. Like I was growing another head out of my neck, right there on the spot!"

"Definitely remembered you." Bella surmised with a quick nod of her head then smiled at me sympathetically. "What're you gonna do now?"

I pretended to think about it for a second then pushed myself off the couch and gestured behind me once I'd turned to face her. "I'm gonna go put my pajamas on and read for a little while."

Bella gasped and nearly tripped over herself as she followed me down the hall. "You are so not right sometimes, Schae! Come on, don't clam up on me now."

I just snickered and shook my head slowly as I pulled out a fresh pair of sweat pants and a random tee shirt then tossed them onto the bed. "I really don't know what I'm going to do." I answered honestly and shrugged unevenly.

She nodded and bit down on her lower lip lightly as she crossed her arms against her chest. "Do you think you'll be seeing him again anytime soon?"

I paused again to think about that then slowly shook my head as I snatched up what I would need for my shower and started to the door. "I doubt it. I mean, it was completely unexpected to run into him where I did. So unless he comes in to see his dad again and I just happen to be there...well, I won't be chasing after him."

"He doesn't deserve it." Bella spoke so suddenly and with such conviction that I momentarily forgot about my shower and slowly pivoted around to face her. Surely I was just hearing her wrong.

"Wait," I muttered and held my free hand up in front of me. "That sounds like something you'd say but I also know that it's easier said than done. Bells, we both know who went through school with a crush on one of the Cullen boys."

She didn't even flinch when I used a very old nickname on her, one that had originated from Chief Swan. Hell, that was how he'd first introduced his daughter to me so many years ago. When everything was still settling into the ten shades of gray that made up my family and homelife. I refused to think about that though, to let my mind travel down that all-too-familiar path and allow depression to cut me off at the knees. Thankfully, Bella spoke again and it was easier to shift my focus back onto her. "Everyone had a crush on at least some member of that family. I just so happened to be one or two of the only girls in the school that didn't throw myself at the object of my lust."

And she hadn't. Something that made me like Bella Swan even more than I had to begin with. It was almost nauseating, the affect the Cullen children had on the female population of Forks. And they'd _grown up here_. That was the really shocking part. Then again, from what I remembered of my grade school days, they had been a pretty cute set of kids. At least, Edward and Alice Cullen, who biologically belonged to the doctor and his wife, had been. The rest just fit in later on down the road. I was a sophomore in high school before I came face to face with Jasper Hale and his twin, Rosalie for the first time.

Bella Swan knew how to stand on her own two feet and not let anyone sway her in a direction she didn't want to go. People had tried, sure, especially after her permanant move to Forks. She was fresh meat and everyone had wanted a taste of her. But for some unforseen reason, she had found me and we stuck to each other like glue until going our separate ways after graduation.

Her not making a move on the dangerously gorgeous Edward, who made just about every girl within a fifteen mile radius start foaming at the mouth, helped my own resolve about the secret desires of my heart. I lumped myself in with the rest of the hormonal teenage gaggle. It was only natural that I have a crush on one of the boys as well. Only, there wasn't a person alive on this earth that knew about that crush.

But judging by past behavior and how I'd completely geek out when he chose to remember I existed and talk to me, it probably was pretty obvious that I'd been drawn in by the large family. I'd just been a little more discreet than Bella had been.

"Besides," She went on, breaking my train of thought as she fisted her tiny hands and formed them to her waist. "I never saw you drool after any of the Cullen boys. That just made it easier for me to pretend I didn't notice them either. I think you're the only girl in our entire school that didn't really care or think about Dr. Cullen's three boys."

"Oh I thought." I sighed and let my head fall back slightly as I fixated on the ceiling. It had a rough texture, like something had been mixed in with the paint and became forever cemented to the ceiling. Oddly, ceilings and walls painted like that always reminded me of the underside of a Krackle bar.

Odd thing to think about right then. Shaking myself mentally, I just smiled slyly at my roommate then turned and darted for the bathroom before she had a chance to start questioning me again. The taps were turned on to full power and steam soon filled up the spacious bathroom. I sighed and leaned my head back, eyes closed for a second. My mind was racing in a confusing twist of thoughts and images. All from two pasts that were so vastly different from each other. I didn't know why I was thinking of it all right then, but I couldn't pull myself back together enough to shed my work clothes and step in under the hot spray.

Finally, I did and relaxed instantly when the water started to cascade down my back and shoulders, loosening tension that had magically appeared. I knew I was stressed, but I hadn't felt the knots once I left the hospital and came home. Where my thoughts could catch up with me and make me stop cold. I didn't have any of the distractions here that I did at work. It was probably one of the main reasons why I'd loved nursing as much as I did.

There was no time to think and worry about the world outside the hospital. All I had time to do was act and get through the course of my shift without messing up. There was no room for distractions in the ER, a big selling point when I first started researching possible career opportunities during my senior year at Forks High.

Plus it would get me out of this abnormally small town. I could go somewhere and be a completely different person. No one would know who I was or the horrors I'd seen as I grew up around the family I'd been born into. In the end though, that hadn't worked and I'd ended up back where my life had begun.

I needed another distraction. And fast.

Thinking quickly, I finished my shower and headed into my room for a different set of clothes. I couldn't just sit here and dwell anymore. It wouldn't help and I needed some time to distance myself from everything I was going to have to face now that I was home. So I got dressed without letting myself think, choosing a pair of tight-fitted jeans and a tank top that ended about two inches from the waist of my jeans. My hair was toweled dry then later flattened with the aid of a blowdryer and straightening iron.

Bella wandered past the open bathroom door when I'd finally moved on to the make-up portion of getting ready. "What's up?" She asked and came into the room, hopping up on the wide counter that sprawled over the back of the toilet and planted her feet on the closed lid beneath her.

"I'm going out." I nodded once then smiled at her as I finished smudging the tiny line of black eyeliner I'd just put on. "I'll probably regret it tomorrow when I have to get up for the night shift, but I just...need to, you know?"

She nodded, almost sympathetically then moved to stand back up. "I'll go with you, if you want? That way you aren't out alone."

"Nah." I smiled at her and wrinkled my nose slightly. "I appreciate the offer but I'll be okay. I'm probably just gonna go see what's around still and decide from there on what I want to do."

"You sure?" She asked and regained her footing as I zipped up my make-up bag then stowed it in the cabinet beneath the sink. Out of the way. I refused to encroach on my roommate's space.

I nodded as we treked down the hallway, me pausing long enough to snag my beloved Converse then plopped down on the living room couch so I could pull them on. "I probably won't even be out all that late. I'm really just working on a whim kinda moment here."

She snickered and nodded, dropping down into her favorite chair before curling her legs to her chest. "Well in that case, I leave you to your whims." She snickered again then sombered up a little when I stood and gathered my keys and cell phone once my ID and debit card were in my back pocket. "Call me if you get into any trouble, okay?"

"I will." I nodded then blew her a quick kiss as I reached for the doorknob. "Don't wait up though, okay? Just keep your phone nearby."

"Will do!" She called out, even throwing an arm above her head as I stepped out into the hall then made the trek downstairs to my car. I had no idea what I was going to do now that I was out of the apartment, and alone, but I didn't really want to know. I didn't want to have a plan, I couldn't remember the last time I'd just played things by ear and let myself live without fear of consequences.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ It gets interesting! Thanks so much for all the reviews and attention this story has already gotten. I know I say that at the beginning of each chapter, but really! Y'all don't have to read this, nor do you have to favorite/alert/review it. So I feel the need to continuously express my thanks. Hope you guys enjoy! And feel free to let me know if you'd like to see a picture of the tattoo mentioned in this chapter. I cheated and used my own wrist for inspiration._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just a poor military wife._

* * *

_i_**Chapter Four:**

Apparently I wasn't the only one who needed a night out. Even though it was nearing midnight and the only bar in Forks would be closing soon, there was a surprising amount of people packed around.

Sipping on my fourth glass of Captain Morgan's and Coke, I looked up in time to see two more people file into the semi-crowded bar. Two people that looked more familiar to me than I was comfortable with.

Jasper Hale and his impossibly gorgeous brother, Edward Cullen waltzed in like they practically owned the place. A quick glimpse around and I was sure that I hadn't been the only one to notice their entrance.

Nearly every woman in this place looked up as the two settled at a table near my perch at the bar. I was only looking at them for maybe a minute or two, with my chin tucked to my shoulder, but that was enough. Jasper Hale looked up as if he knew I was watching and evenly met my gaze.

Jumping slightly in surprise, I mentally chastized myself and faced forward again, bringing my glass to my lips just in time to hear Edward Cullen's voice from behind me.

"Don't tell me you already found a girl to start staring at." He teased, not bothering to lower his volume so that the conversation stayed between brothers. I couldn't tell what his reaction was but figured it wasn't good when he addressed his adopted brother.

"It's the woman I saw at the hospital earlier."

Oh, goodie.

Edward's laughter was a little more lewd than I would've liked, and I felt his eyes on my back as I downed the remaining contents of my drink. His next words actually made me want to cringe in my seat. I'd never done well with people talking about me, especially when I was sitting just a foot or two away. It brought back the memories I'd been trying to repress.

"You mean that hot new nurse you were babbling about when you came home?" He shot out and I was almost sure Jasper would've been blushing by now. That was the natural reaction, after all. Then again, I didn't really know much about the Cullens. But I didn't dare turn around to see for myself. I didn't want any more unwanted attention drawn to myself.

Why couldn't I just blend into the background when that was what I most wanted?

The bartender, a guy I vaguely recognized from long-ago days drifted over to my little corner of the bar and gestured at my empty glass. "Want another one?"

I opened my mouth to respond but blinked in surprise when I heard a deep, bass voice instead of my own.

"It's on me."

"No thank you." I replied casually and kept my eyes on the bartender. I didn't have to look to my right to see Jasper Hale standing next to me. I could still feel his brother's eyes on me and didn't want to risk looking back at him either. Edward Cullen'd had a pretty crappy reputation when we were all in high school, which made me feel for Bella when she finally admitted to crushing on him. He never would deserve my only friend in the world, as far as I was concerned. Unless his attitude did a complete 180 and he started channeling the nicest person on the planet.

I finally looked up and over when the bartender disappeared to start making a drink. I'd missed something. I just knew it. Jasper wasn't trying to hide the fact that he was staring openly at me. The other women in the bar were still staring at him and his brother, but for some odd reason, he'd targeted _me _of all people. How did that work?! I knew that I'd changed physically from the geeky teenager I once was, but I didn't think I'd changed _that_ much.

Apparently, judging by the look on Jasper's face as he eased onto the empty stool beside me, I had. Enough that I probably wasn't ringing any mental bells in that head of his.

"You just bought me a drink, didn't you?" I accused, but my voice didn't hold the proper amount of outrage I'd been going for. I guess I wasn't as grown up as I'd wanted to think. At least when it came to Jasper Hale.

"I did." He consented and folded his arms on the counter in front of us. I just ignored him and sighed, letting my shoulders slump as I watched the bartender deposit my drink then ask what Jasper wanted. He opted for a beer, which made me want to snicker more than it probably should've.

"How did I know?" I mused and tilted my glass toward my lips. Swallowing a healthy drink, my eyes narrowed unconsciously when I saw the look on Jasper's face. Clearly, he didn't agree with how tanked I was wanting to get tonight. I already had a nice buzz going and was determined to enjoy myself for the first time since I returned to Forks.

I just hadn't been counting on Jasper Hale to come in and try to wreck my plans.

"So what's a pretty girl like you drinking alone for?" He finally spoke, sipping at his own beer as he kept his eyes trained on me. I was looking at anything but him, hoping he could somehow catch a hint and leave me to my muddled thoughts. The very mental words I'd come out in hopes of escaping from.

I grimaced and finally turned my head to look at him. "Does that really work on some girls?"

He didn't answer right away, staring at the wall in front of us for a second before he turned a sheepish smile toward me. "Not really, no."

I laughed in spite of myself and shook my head slowly. "Well, at least you're honest." I mused and lifted one shoulder in a shrug, smiling at him for a second before I relaxed my posture again. I still had no idea why this guy had chosen to talk to _me_ out of everyone. I wasn't self-depricating, but I knew my physical limitations in the beauty department. There were better looking girls for a guy like Jasper Hale to talk to. Women that resembled the girls that used to hang all over him back in high school. Blonde, curvy ala big boobs, able to bat their eyelashes and get anything they wanted. I had none of those. I was dark haired, fair skinned, modest chest and hip width, and could probably kick his ass if I really put my mind to it.

And knocked him out with a horse tranquilizer beforehand.

The small talk continued for a few, agonizingly slow minutes before I swiveled around in my chair and stared pointedly at him. I was past tipsy now thanks to the second drink on his tab and pretty ready to go home. I'd sleep good tonight but I was nowhere near the stage where I'd have to be carted out with help or at risk of a one-night-stand that would make me want to douse myself in bleach afterward. But I was in no shape to drive and thus, would probably have to call Bella for assistance.

That'd go over _so_ well, the police chief's daughter's roommate being hauled in for a DUI. Yeah, not so much.

"Okay dude," I started and licked my dry lips before I pushed my fingers over my forehead. I could see Edward on the other side of the room, flirting with a girl that looked about two seconds away from unzipping her dress right then and there for him. Ew. "Seriously, why're you talking to me? Is this because you just so happened to run into me at the hospital or what?"

I must've looked pretty damn entertaining to him because a light smile lit up Jasper's impossibly perfect lips and even reached his dangerously hypnotic pale blue eyes. Okay, I knew I'd had too much alcohol when I started to entertain the idea of wiping that little grin off his features with a sharp smack upside his head. Either that or I'd really turned into a man-hater after all. Whoops!

Finally, he snickered and the smile became less violence-worthy as he shrugged slowly. "I just felt like talking to you. Is that a crime?"

"Yes." I blurted out with an absolutely straight face then made the mistake of awkwardly climbing to my feet. Jasper was quick, I'd give him that. He was up and had my wrists in his hands before I could even _think_ about which way to fall without hurting myself.

"Okay," He sighed and bent at the knees to look me in the eye. "If you're thinking about getting out of here, I'm going to have to take your keys. Do you have someone to drive you home?"

I huffed at him, mostly out of irritation at myself and nodded as I steadied myself then gently extricated my wrists from his grips. His skin was way too soft and warm, only slightly calloused from whatever activities he did in his free time. "Yeah, my roommate can come and get me." I nodded solemnly then winced. "That is if she isn't asleep."

Jasper nodded slowly then his eyebrows creased slightly when a flick of my wrist caught his eye. I didn't have to wear large bandaids outside of work and he had no doubt noticed the ink on the inside of my left wrist.

"What's that?" He mused and gently took my arm back into his hands. He didn't even ask for permission! Not that I wasn't used to being grabbed when someone noticed my ink placement choices. But still! Personal space requirements demanded some kind of asking beforehand.

"It's an eighth note." I blurted out, looking at him oddly as I swayed slightly. Had I mentioned yet what a serious lightweight I was?! I could never be a successful alcoholic. I didn't like losing control. "I noticed it was one of the most commonly used notes in music when I was researching tattoos."

The crease between his eyebrows grew even more prominant and made me want to turn and make a run for my car. Too bad I was locked in surprise while his grip tightened a little on my arm. "I...never thought of things like that. I think that's the cutest tattoo I've ever seen."

I blinked in surprise and actually leaned away from him a little to see some kind of hidden amusement. Surely he hadn't just said what I thought he had. My ears must have been playing tricks on me. Either that or I was just drunker than I thought!

If he was laughing internally at me for my tattoo choice, I didn't see it. He looked genuine and wasn't taking back what he'd said.

"T..thank you." I stuttered out, still feeling a weird to be standing so close to him. It was like I was back in high school all over again, obsessing over the Hale boy that often came off as misunderstood. I hadn't really talked to him much during that time, so I'd only assumed that he could be a genuinely decent guy underneath all the money and privilege that had been thrown his way.

That didn't mean I'd forgiven him yet, but I was probably staring at the guy that he'd grown into after graduating a year ahead of me.

"You're welcome." He smiled kindly at me then gestured behind him toward the exit. "Do you...want a ride home? I've only had one beer and I promise you'll be safe with me."

I could hear the innuendo at my chosen profession and rolled my eyes while smiling in spite of myself. I really was a hopeless loser when it came to the object of my high school crush. "Okay." I sighed and nodded, unconsciously relaxing my body into him as he stepped back and began to help me away from the tightly packed row of barstools.

Some space was put between us but he kept a hold of my wrist as we walked out of the bar and out into the dimly lit parking lot.

"So why'd you move here?" Jasper asked, doing his best to sound casual as we approached a sleek, black motorcycle. My eyes bugged a little in spite of my best efforts and the emblem on the tank dazzled boldly. A Harley Davidson Roadster.

I hadn't expected to walk outside and see _this_ as his method of transportation. Especially when alcohol was involved! Not to mention, this _was_ Forks, Washington; known for rain and lack of sun. Glancing around a little, so that it didn't look like I was openly gaping at his beautiful, vintage bike; I jumped in surprise when he lightly touched my arm.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyebrows raising slightly in concern.

"Yeah." I muttered with a quick nod of my head then winced when it felt like my brain was sloshing around in my skull. "Just remembering why I don't drink." I sighed, doing my best not to shiver openly when he chuckled then grabbed the helmet that was fastened to the bike. "Oh, uh, I moved here for the job opportunity." I replied evenly once I was sure that I had accurately remembered the question he'd posed just seconds before the motorcycle caught my attention.

"As good a reason as any." Jasper smiled and held the helmet out to me. But when I didn't immediately take it, the look on his face predicted that he was assuming the worst. "You're not...are you scared to ride with me?"

I looked up at him quickly then grabbed the full-head helmet he'd handed me. "No, actually. My dad used to have a pretty unhealthy obsession with motorcycles. Harleys especially."

The smile that lit up his features nearly knocked me breathless and I actually fumbled a little in getting the helmet on. He snickered, again, and whatever warm and fuzzies I had for him were starting to fade. I hated being laughed at sometimes, especially when I was doing something I'd kick my own ass for. I finally managed to get the damn helmet on and flipped the face guard up so I could still talk and sort of hear him. "Where's your helmet?"

Jasper just shrugged and casually threw a leg over the bike. I stayed rooted in place and just watched dumbly as he kicked the monsterous bike to life and lifted it off the kickstand. That was my cue to hop on. "Your head matters more than mine. And I know how to ride without one."

Rolling my eyes, I just flipped the helmet into place and carefully slid into the back of the bike. As soon as I was situated, my hands hovering over his sides, I realized just how intimately close I was going to have to be to this man. Through the thin layer of his shirt, I could see muscles rippling gently as he kept a tight grip on the growling bike beneath us. Swallowing thickly, I tucked my legs up where he indicated then tightly wound my arms around his waist.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been on the back of a motorcycle. I had memories of it, sure. My dad's favorite method was a bike and he'd even managed to convince my mom that it would be safe for us to own a Harley and that I was okay to ride on it. As long as Daddy went slow and made sure I didn't slip. It was through the trips in the neighborhood, when the weather permitted, that I learned how to safely ride a bike. It was also probably _the_ most freeing time of my life. No matter what was going on at school, or whatever stresses I had; they couldn't keep up with me when I had my arms wrapped around my dad while we flew down the open highway between Forks and the Quileute reservation called La Push.

A wild peal of laughter ripped through my throat as the ride continued. I could feel every single move Jasper made as he manuevered around towns and paced the bike within speed limits. We'd both been drinking and he had no helmet. That was something I wasn't entirely comfortable explaining to Chief Swan. He'd never seen me as a bad influence on his daughter and I wasn't about to start changing that now.

Curling into Jasper a little more, I let the moment have me as the darkness raced past us. I was still able to just let everything go and _be_ in the moment. I enjoyed feeling him move in front of me, commanding such a powerful piece of machinery that could easily kill us. I loved the sound of the wind racing past us, blowing his honey curls behind his head and into my vision. There was nothing to see anyway, there was no distraction or alternate issue that was trying to force me from what my mind wanted to enjoy. _This._ Being on the back of Jasper Hale's motorcycle as he drove me...not home.

The confusion didn't leave my features until long after Jasper parked the bike, turned it off and tilted his head back to look at me. I had no idea where we were, but it wasn't the apartment building Bella and I resided in. This layout was completely different and, if I was being honest with myself, screamed of money. Which led me to the only conclusion I could draw.

Jasper had said he would take me home. He just didn't say he'd take me to _my_ home.


	5. Chapter 5

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Totally didn't exect this turn of events, but here it is! R rating for this chapter. Enjoy._

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

I was still gaping at my surroundings and mentally floundering when I slid off the bike and dutifully handed the helmet back to Jasper. He'd brought me to _his freaking house_! Well, apartment to be more specific. But how in the hell?!

"Where are we?" I asked, feeling a little more sober as we walked up to a door made of pure glass nestled into the brick exterior with a long series of windows and balconies marring the complex brick patterns. Yeah, definitely nicer than the spread Bella and I had.

"My apartment." He replied and I frowned when he didn't sound as remorseful as I wanted him to.

"Why?" I blurted out then grimaced and came to a stop at the door. Drinking made me even more painfully blunt that I was already was. This entire situation just screamed disaster and I wasn't entirely sure I was comfortable with where this might be heading. Especially since my high school crush was all sorts of involved.

He sighed and bodily turned back to me, instead of reaching for the door that led to an enclosed hall lit by a series of glass-covered mounted lights. "I don't know where you live, and I didn't think to ask before we got on the bike. It's tough as hell to talk to someone when they have that helmet on so I figured I'd play it safe, given the hour, and just bring you back here. You can crash in my room, I'll take the couch. And in the morning, I'll run you back for your car in time for you to go home and do whatever you gotta do."

I blinked in surprise but didn't resist when he opened the door and lightly nudged me inside. The guy had solid logic, I'd give him that. But I still didn't have a good feeling about this. "You could've just pulled over and asked." I muttered darkly then pouted when stairs became involved. Okay, I was sobering up but I still had a pretty strong buzz going.

"Hour." He muttered and started up slowly.

I just followed, my lower lip jutted out slightly as I wrapped my arms across the front of my tank top. "Dude, I live with Bella Swan. _Everyone_ knows where she lives."

That caused him to stop so suddenly that I misjudged on a step and started to go down. For a nurse, I was fairly clutzy when I was intoxicated. Either that or I was just channeling my lovely roommate. Reaching out blindly, I didn't care about what I was grabbing onto, I just wanted to stop myself from going down.

Another jolt hit my system when I realized that I'd reached out and grabbed Jasper. More specifically, his hips. He turned slightly and gripped both of my wrists in an attempt to keep me steady. I just smiled sheepishly at him and straightened up. "Okay, I'm not talking again until a stable, flat surface is involved."

Jasper chuckled then nodded and jogged up the remaining stairs. I followed pretty easily, dispite my buzzy state and nervously ran both hands through my hair as he unlocked a door then stepped aside. "After you."

Okay, his mama had raised him right. Of course, I had met Esme Cullen a few times and expected nothing less. Or at least, I _hoped_ for nothing less. Though imagining the Cullen children, specifically the boys, in trouble for not being proper gentlemen was a pretty entertaining mental show as I stepped into his apartment. He came in behind me then suddenly, the room was flooded with light.

The walls were a soft white color, with black furniture and a wooden entertainment center completing the motif. I glanced down and raised an eyebrow when I saw beige carpet spread out beneath my sneakered feet. From what little I knew of Jasper Hale, I hadn't expected his apartment to be laid out like it was.

Framed pieces of artwork hung on the walls, varying in textures, composition, and theme. There were a few I recognized easily enough and noticed that he had more replicas of Van Gogh paintings than anything else. But the ones that drew me in the most were the ones I didn't remember seeing in Art History text books.

I came to a stop in front of one that had been framed and hung on the wall right beside the entrance into the hallway. The colors were insanely vibrant, but there was a darkness to the piece that just seemed off to me. I'd never expected to see art work that showed such difference.

I was so engrossed in the painting, my eyes trying to follow every single line and curve against the canvas that I jumped when I suddenly felt his breath against my ear. "What do you find so facinating about this painting?"

Glancing at him for a second, I quickly averted my eyes back to the composition and bit down on my lower lip. "Everything." I admitted quietly, knowing I had no choice but to be honest. That was a side effect of drinking for me, I seemed to forget how to lie convincingly.

He chuckled quietly and nodded then surprised me even more by lightly gripping my waist to slowly turn me back around to face him. "It's just a painting, Schae. Nothing special about it."

My eyes narrowed instantly at him but the close proximity of his body to mine made it difficult for me to formulate an articulate response. How was it possible that he still had this effect on me? We were adults now, long past the days of teenage hormones and unrequited crushes. He hadn't given me a second glance back in high school, but now I was standing in the middle of his living room feeling each breath he took wash against my face. And I hadn't even been in Forks a full week yet!

Wincing slightly when an unwanted warning bell sounded off in my head, I took a step back and winced again when I bounced off the wall. My shoulder jostled the painting but it stayed attached to the hook in the wall. I blew out a low breath and put my hands on his chest to lightly back him up. I couldn't let myself feel the shock that went through me at the simple contact. I hadn't expected to feel the muscles under my hands. He'd always been lean with an athletic build thanks to his participation in the school's baseball program. But again, we weren't teenagers anymore.

"I need a drink." I muttered and stepped away from him, raking a hand through my hair as I searched for something to focus on. Anything but him and the alcohol-induced haze I was starting to get lost in. Again, I remembered all too well why I never indulged in drinking. It made things way too confusing for me and I didn't like how I felt. Especially where Jasper was now concerned.

He disappeared into the kitchen and, still chewing nervously on the inside of my bottom lip, I slowly followed him. As I entered the tiny kitchen, I blinked in surprise when a glass suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

"You're already staying here tonight." He responded as I accepted the glass and took a healthy drink. The alcohol burned my throat instantly and I wanted to cough. Jasper made a damn powerful drink! I just had to figure out if this was a good thing, or something that was possibly going to come back and bite me in the ass later on. I was at his mercy now. I had no way of getting home without him. Even though I'd promised Bella that I would call if I needed her, I couldn't do that. Not if she was already in bed and asleep like I knew she would be.

Jasper busied himself with his own drink as I hopped up on a bare space of his kitchen counter and sipped on my mixed concoction. I had no idea what I was drinking, but it was powerful, I was already more than a little buzzed, so there was no point in trying to sober up now. I didn't want to. For some odd reason, I couldn't be sober and deal with my current surroundings. I wanted the haze now. I welcomed it openly.

Once he was finished with his own drink, he slowly turned around and rested back against the counter directly behind me. "Do you ever relax?"

I nearly choked on the sip I'd just taken and glared at him for a second before I set my glass down and made a show of relaxing my muscles. I flailed my arms and wiggled my shoulders then slouched dramatically in front of him. "Better?"

He chuckled as I picked my drink back up and swallowed another healthy amount. "Maybe."

I rolled my eyes then raised an eyebrow slightly at him, the rim of my glass poised at my lips. "So now you have me here, what do you plan on doing with me?"

"Indulging you with alcohol." He admitted and paused to take a drink before continuing. "It's obvious that you want to get bombed tonight, why I don't know. I'd like to ask but I have a feeling you won't answer me."

"I won't." I threw in quickly, interrupting him.

He shot me an exasperated look and shook his head slowly. "Anyway, I figured that if you're going to get trashed, the least I could do is give you a safe place to do so. Without having to worry about some creepy idiot hitting on you and attempting to get into your pants."

I laughed at that and stared up at the ceiling before I finished off my drink and set the empty glass aside. Not thinking clearly, thanks to the new addition of alcohol in my system, I slid off the counter and stood about two inches from him, my hands fisted on my hips. "And how can I be sure that _you_ won't try and get in my pants? After all, you were the one that said you'd take me home then lied."

"I didn't lie." He smiled brightly at me, making me want to hyperventilate like I had in our younger years, then shrugged. "I explained why you're here instead of at your house."

"Right." I nodded and looked at him plainly. I wasn't convinced. Guys just didn't operate the way he was trying to make me believe he was. So I decided to test his words. Closing the distance between us, I gripped the counter behind him, keeping my wrists from touching his hips and raised an eyebrow slightly as I leaned my upper body into him. "Somehow I _don't_ believe you when you say that."

He quirked an eyebrow at me and downed the rest of his drink before setting it aside. I could see the challenge in his eyes and swallowed thickly as he leaned a little closer to me. "Believe me or don't. I'd be lying if I said that I don't find you attractive. But I'm too much of a gentleman to take advantage of you like this."

"Like what?!" I yelled and pushed away from him, landing back against the other counter with my arms limp at my sides. "I'm perfectly fine, Jasper."

"No." He corrected and mimiced my previous actions. The only difference was that his wrists were touching my hips, right above the waist of my low-slung jeans. "You're drunk, Schae and obviously trying to escape from something. Not to mention this new little facination you have with testing me. Why're you so convinced that I'm horrible?"

"Because that's what I know." I replied without hesitation, glaring at him as he inched closer and closer to me. "Guys are only the knights in shining armor when they want something from me. So why put up the pretenses? Wouldn't life be so much easier if we just _said_ what we wanted then acted on it?"

"And what, exactly, is it that we want?" He asked, obviously humoring me by playing along.

I rolled my eyes and nearly whimpered when his lower body suddenly came in contact with mine. My expression grew a little more hateful as I stared up into his impossibly deep eyes. "I think it's pretty obvious, don't you? How else do you explain how you have me backed against this counter?"

He glanced down at our positioning and shrugged slowly. "I already told you that I find you attractive. I'm not going to deny that. But we're both intoxicated. This all could quite possibly be the alcohol talking."

I rolled my eyes again and sighed. He wasn't making this easy on me, that much was certain. And abruptly, I realized that I didn't really care. Yeah, I was drunk. Nowhere near blackout status, but I was getting pretty damn close thanks to my low tolerance.

I was lonely. And more importantly, I was completely flustered and more than a little turned on by Jasper. I'd never really been a casual-sex kind of girl. That was always reserved for relationships that I thought would last. I'd only been with one guy and that hadn't exactly ended well. So where had my logic gotten me? What purpose did it serve to deny one's self and play the good little girl card? I was sick of it and sick of how I conducted myself on a regular basis. I didn't want to conform to everyone else's ideals anymore.

I was tired of doing what everyone expected me to do. I was tired of being perfect and living only for my career. I also wanted an escape, as Jasper had accurately assumed. I _needed_ a powerful distraction. So it was without thinking that I straightened up and grabbed his cheeks. Surprise flickered in his eyes for a brief moment before our lips met. The shock I'd felt earlier was nothing compared to what I felt as our lips molded into each others. I hadn't expected the absolute frenzy that ignited in me, but I didn't fight it. Nor did I fight the compelling desire to taste him.

His lips parted against mine and our tongues met at exactly the same time. A small moan filled the back of my throat as I slid my arms around his neck and tangled one hand in his hair. I'd always wanted to see how soft his hair was to the touch and was pleasantly surprised. Much softer than I'd envisioned. Jasper didn't pull away, like a small part of my brain figured he would. He just wound an arm around my waist and pulled me flush against him. I could already feel his growing arousal against the inside curve of my thighs and pulled away to lightly nip at his bottom lip.

Jasper groaned and made the ball of heat in my gut nearly explode as my teeth trapped his lower lip. I was slow in letting go and arched into him when he tilted his head and started to trail kisses along the side of my neck, flattening my breasts against his chest and shivered at his warmth. The heat I felt in the lower part of my body engulfed me and my hands slid down his sides then disappeared up into the back of his shirt. I felt the tension in his muscles as his kisses traveled lower, curving with the hem of my tank top as his own fingers sought out the skin of my lower back.

I didn't think, or even let myself doubt what was happening. I just wanted to _feel_. And Jasper was doing a damn good job at making me feel something other than everything I'd been carrying around with me. I squealed almost silently in surprise when his hands gripped my thighs and picked me up. I curled my legs around his hips and flattened my arms against his sides for leverage as he turned and pressed me back against the outside wall beside the kitchen's entrance.

A low growl of impatience left Jasper when he kissed further down my chest and met the last of bare skin. I was set on my feet for the briefest of seconds and pulled back into his arms long enough for him to yank impatiently at my top.

"Off." He commanded in a near whisper, his rough voice sending chills spiraling down my spine. I complied all too willingly and tossed the fabric away. I had no idea how we'd come to the situation we were in now, but I didn't care. He found me attractive, as he had said, and I wanted him. Just as he seemed to want me, as indicated by the noticable bulge in his jeans. I reached out without hesitation and yanked his jeans open and forced the zipper down. My fingers slid of the waistband of his underwear as his hips collided with mine, forcing me back against the wall once more. His hands were shockingly warm against my overheated skin and I didn't bother to swallow back the small moan he caused when his fingers slid underneath my bra and began to tease the underside of my breasts.

I let myself get lost in the frenzy from there, acting brazenly as clothing was tossed aside and his hands roughly covered my breasts, stomach, and hips. My hair whipped out behind me when he grabbed me again and spun us around toward the dark hallway leading further into the apartment. I knew what was back there and didn't offer any resistance as he propelled us into his bedroom then forced me onto his bed with his body. Contact wasn't broken once and I was near begging by the time his hand brushed teasingly against the most sensitive part of my body.

Reprocussions be damned. I didn't care how he would see me in the morning when he entered me roughly, without any barriers, and I cried out for more.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Schae is turning out far different than I thought she would! And wow, I feel so weird admitting that. The story is coming out a lot faster, and easier, than I originally thought it would! Surprises galore with this one. Anyway, here's the next chapter! Enjoy and thanks so much for continuing to read/review._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just playing in her sandbox. I own nothing but Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

My head was pounding and my body felt like I'd just run five miles without stopping when I woke up the next morning. I could feel the sun's rays on my bare back and clenched my eyes shut tighter reflexively. I remembered easily how painful hangovers were and wanted no part of the sun glaring through the window.

But when my arm stretched out to my right and hit something solid, my eyes flew open and landed on the bare chest beside me. Jasper's bare chest.

We hadn't bothered putting our clothes back on last night, the exhaustion too great that we just collapsed and instantly drifted off to sleep. The sheet was curled tightly around my lower body, leaving me bare from the waist up. There wasn't a stitch of clothing on Jasper and I momentarily reveled in the sheer perfection of his naked body.

The muscles that cut his chest and stomach weren't impossibly deep, but they fit his physique. He wasn't overly muscular but I knew he was strong. The v that formed against his hips and into his pelvis was devilishly inviting and I had to catch myself when I reached out to trace the pale path of skin.

Then it hit me. Oh. _Shit._

I'd slept with Jasper Hale last night. Several times. Without complaint. Actually, if I was being honest with myself...I'd _fucked_ Jasper several times. Without complaint.

Groaning internally, I carefully got up and battled against gravity as I moved into the kitchen in search of clothes and a clock. I still had to work and it definitely wouldn't bode well for me to call in sick for my second day of work. A low curse passed my lips when I finally found the glaring, blood red numbers on the microwave. 2:47. I had to be at work by 4. And I had no way of getting home unless I went back into the bedroom and woke Jasper up.

Deciding against that quickly, mainly because I was feeling pretty damn cowardly and had no idea what to say so him after last night, I threw my clothes on and crept out of the apartment, blissfully aware of the light snores that were still drifting out from his bedroom. Apparently the dude was a deep sleeper when he'd been drinking.

I hissed when the sun hit me full force and shielded my eyes as best I could as I started across the parking lot. I stopped when I found Jasper's motorcycle and gawked at it fully. Now I could see every detail of the bike and it was obvious that this was Jasper's most prized possession. And I could tell what year it'd been made in. 1983. Impressive. I wasn't even sure Jasper had been _alive_ during 1983.

I shook myself mentally and yelped when my phone suddenly started vibrating against my ass. Fishing it out, I swore again when I saw three missed calls and one new text message.

Clicking out of everything, I cleared the screen then sighed and dialed Bella's number once I was safely away from the apartment. Yes, I was fully living up to my cowardly capabilities.

Bella picked up on the third ring and instantly launched into her version of the third degree. "I've been calling you all morning! Where _are_ you and why didn't you come home last night?!"

"Chill." I hissed and whimpered when my headache flared angrily at me. Yeah, as if I needed anymore reminders of my stupidity. "I need you to come pick me up."

"Where are you?" She repeated and I could hear movement in the background. She was leaving the apartment and coming to get me without waiting for me to provide details. Bless her!

"Uh," Trailing off, I quickly rattled off the closest street to me. She knew exactly where I was and promised to get there quick. I just had to stay put. So I did. Once the call was ended, I remembered the three voicemails as well as the new text message. Calling my voicemail quickly, I was relieved to find they were all from Bella, trying to figure out where I was and if I was okay. Once I had them all deleted, I blew out a low breath and opened my inbox. As soon as I saw the sender's name, my head flopped back and I groaned sullenly at my misfortune.

_Stop being childish and come home. We need to talk, S._

Yeah, today was going to be an _awesome_ day for me!

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay to finish your shift?" Rachelle asked for what felt like the millionth time. I just swallowed back the response I wanted to give her and nodded as I smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My headache's only a dull roar now and I need to keep busy. I promise, headaches are sorta normal for me." I wasn't lying there! I just didn't need to tell my supervisor that this one was related to a hangover, unlike the others that usually stemmed from the hereditary migrane gene I'd inherited from my mother.

Rachelle just eyed me for a second, but let it go and nodded. "Okay, but you come find me the second that headache starts interferring. I can't have a sick nurse on my hands."

"I'm fine." I responded slowly through clenched teeth then sighed and swiped the back of my hand across my forehead. "I don't want to start off on the wrong foot here, Rachelle. This job's too important to me and I don't want any of you thinking badly of me or wondering how in the hell I got hired on."

"I'm sure no one thinks that." I jumped and whirled around, hand clapped across my chest as Dr. Cullen's voice interrupted our conversation.

How fair was it for someone his age to still look as impossibly handsome as he had during my teens? The nurses still talked about him now, but they were more brazen than they used to be. Some of them didn't even care that he was still happily married with grown children. They still did their best to seduce him. It would've been sickingly amusing to catch one of them in the act and see how he responded to them.

Not the way they wanted. It was obvious that he still only had eyes for his wife, who was probably the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life. She was amazing, simply put. And from what I knew of their relationship, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were a perfect fit for one another. They had given me hope for finding love like that some day. But I'd grown out of that pretty fast. Bitterness took over, but not enough that I harbored negative thoughts against the doctor's marriage.

"I wouldn't put money on that if I were you." I muttered then smiled sheepishly at him. That wasn't supposed to have been said aloud.

He chuckled though and nodded as he finished with the chart in front of him then handed it to me. "If it's all right with Rachelle, why don't you go ahead and go home, Schae? The ER's freakishly slow and it's only thirty minutes before you're supposed to clock out anyway."

"That actually sounds perfect to me, Dr. Cullen." Rachelle smiled brightly at him but when she rounded on me, I could tell it was fake. While she did agree with him, she was looking kinda pissed that I'd called the doctor's attention to me. Great.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." I smiled politely and hugged the metal clipboard he'd just handed me to my chest and took a step back. "But I don't want any special favors. I'm new here and I refuse to leave anyone with a less than stellar opinion of me." And with that, I turned and finished out my remaining thirty minutes.

By the time I clocked out, all I wanted was a hot bath then bed. In that order. Food still sounded like a horrific idea to me, but I knew that was from the nausea that my hangover was producing. I would be as good as new tomorrow and couldn't wait.

Bella was outside waiting for me when I finally left, my purse slung tiredly over my shoulder.

"Thanks for coming to get me." I gushed with geninue gratitude. She just waved me off and climbed into her beast of a truck. I followed suit and winced when my door slammed back into the frame and vibrated mercilessly through my head.

"Still hungover?" She asked and started the truck. I yelped again, cursing a little vocally then nodded as I relaxed against the seat. "When are you going to tell me what happened?"

I just shrugged and lazily turned my head toward her. "You'd have one of two reactions. One; you wouldn't believe a single word of it. Two; you'd hate me in a scary crazy way. I'm not really up for either reaction, you know?"

She rolled her eyes but shrugged and let the subject go. Yet another thing I adored about my roommate. She knew when to push and when not to. The drive to pick up my car was made in silence and I was actually dozing when we bounced into the parking lot and stopped next to my beloved vehicle.

My Bug sat just where I'd left it, untouched and gleaming in the limited light. "I'll meet you at home?" I asked, pausing as I slid out of the cab to await Bella's response.

"Of course." She smiled and nodded then waved as I closed the door and unlocked my driver's door. She waited for me as I slid in and started the car. I sighed and listened to the engine, which was considerably more quiet than the roar of Bella's beast. We pulled out of the parking lot at the same time and I settled in behind Bella's truck and let my mind wander as the radio played softly.

As much as I loved blaring the stereo...today just wasn't the day, or rather, night for it. My head hurt too damn badly for that to be considered fun.

Instead, I spent the entire ride home reflecting on the night before. None of it made any sense to me. How could I have gone from not wanting to be near him to lusting after him so much that it was painful? The only thing I could come back to was the fact that we were no longer teenagers. I hadn't been attractive to him back then. Hell, I hadn't really been attractive to _anyone_ while I was attending school and going through the life lessons that most teens did. But still. What had changed? I couldn't find the catalyst that led me to sleeping with Jasper.

The only accurate conclusion I could come up with was the fact that everything had built up then exploded.

In the worst of ways.

Sighing quietly as I continued to mentally beat myself up for poor judgement, I parked in front of the apartment and headed for the stairs. It'd been too damn long of a day and I just wanted to relax. I wanted my hot bath and the warm comfort of my bed. I trudged up the stairs and internally cursed Bella for getting an apartment on the second floor. How had she _possibly_ moved everything up with only Charlie to help? Then I remembered the friend she sometimes talked about, a boy she'd grown up with from La Push. Their dads were friends and that led them to befriending each other. Only, that hadn't happened until she permanantly moved to Forks. I remembered teasing her back then, asking why she didn't just try and date the boy, Jacob Black, who had an obvious crush on her. I'd hung out with him, as well as a few of his friends from the reservation and they all seemed friendly enough. I could tell that Jacob worshipped the ground Bella walked on but seemed to know that she would never give him the time of day. Which was a shame, especially when I met up with him again during our senior year. A major growth spurt, as well as his love of cars and fixing them up had done the boy some serious good.

But as Bella had said each time I called her on it, he just was not Edward Cullen.

And he wasn't. He was better than the asshole I remembered from our childhood.


	7. Chapter 7

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Dun dun duuuun! All I'm gonna say. ;) Enjoy!_

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

I officially had the apartment all to myself. But it wasn't without serious compromises on my part. Or actually, it was just sheer blackmail.

It'd been two weeks since my ill-fated night with Jasper Hale and I had yet to see him. That didn't really bother me, but it did kind of surprise me in a way. I never would have taken Jasper for a nail-and-bail kind of guy. But knowing who he chose to associate with, the character flaw was sadly one that I could understand. Even though they weren't blood bound, I could still see the influence all the Cullen children had on each other. And they stuck together, I remembered that clearly.

So, in order for Bella to clear out and let me have the apartment to myself for my first day off in nearly a week, I'd had to tell her all about my disappearing act and who's apartment she had picked me up from.

She didn't react at all the way I had figured she would. Instead of shrieking like some kind of banshee, she was just calm and collected in her questioning. Was it purely alcohol that drove me to sleep with Jasper? Did I regret it happening? And the toughest one she could've ever come up with; had I seen or talked to him since?

Uh, not like we traded numbers right before ripping each other's clothes off!

At just the sheer thought of clothes being ripped, I shivered involuntarily then cursed myself. How could the memories from that night still haunt me the way they were? I was even dreaming about that stupid night! I could still feel the warmth of his lips as they closed around my nipple, how excited he made me when he teased my sensitive skin with his tongue. It still chilled me to think that I'd done things with Jasper Hale that I hadn't done in the most serious relationship of my life. The same relationship that had propelled me to leave Chicago for Forks.

A knock suddenly vibrated against the front door and I jumped in surprise. Who in the hell was possibly coming by? It wasn't Charlie, he was hanging with his daughter today. I didn't know anyone outside of work that would want to come by and spend time with me.

Unless....

Not bothering to change out of my favorite pair of grey track pants and white beater, I raked both hands through my hair and sighed as I walked down the hall and wrenched the door open. Of course, without glancing through the peephole first.

Jasper Hale looked positively pissed when I finally got a clear look at him. His mouth was set in an angry line and I noticed the familiar tightening around his eyes as he crossed his arms across his chest. The superficial part of my mind that I hadn't been able to beat into submission yet made me pause and notice how he was dressed. Plain black tee shirt and faded jeans that were smudged here and there with dark spots. Some looked fresh and very recent, others looked set in like they had won the war against the washing machine.

"Knew I shouldn't have told you where I lived." I muttered darkly but stepped aside and waved him in. He was here, might as well get it all over with.

"I would've just tracked you down at the hospital." He challenged but stepped inside anyway.

I sighed and closed the door then turned slowly to face him, tucking my arms against my stomach as I followed him into the living room. "If you're here to fight, then you should just leave right now. I've worked seven days straight, I'm exhausted and I don't really want to deal with your pissy ass attitude."

The frown on his face became more prominant as he whirled around to face me, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his worn jeans. Then I noticed the cowboy boots on his feet and frowned. Huh. Hadn't ever noticed _those_ before.

Shrugging it off, I just shook my head slowly and walked around him to curl back up on the sofa. I didn't say anything, or really know _what_ to say as I reached out and grabbed the remote off the coffee table and flicked the TV off. He was pissed. That commanded my full attention if I didn't want to make things even worse.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" He asked suddenly and stayed right where he was. Hands in his pockets, one leg bent slightly at the knee with his full weight on the other. Honey blonde curls seductively tousled and _ugh_! Why did he have to look like a damn supermodel all the time?!

"Uh, because you were asleep." I blurted out as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and stared up at him blankly. Curling my legs underneath me, I sighed and bent my head to drag more hair off my forehead then flopped my arms over my crossed legs. "Why did it take you two weeks to find me? I must've made one _hell_ of an impression to warrant that kind of time commitment!"

He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm and shook his head slowly. "I figured you would come to me if you really wanted to. Then I decided that I'd given you enough time and conned Carlisle out of your address."

That made my blood want to boil. Lurching to my feet, I manuevered around the couch and got right in his face without really meaning to. "What in the _hell_?! That was a complete and total invasion of privacy, Jasper. Just because we slept together does _not_ mean that you have the right to filch my personal records! That's my job, dude!"

"And you're working for my father!" He threw back, obviously not backing down.

I groaned and my head fell back in frustration. Of course, I was reminded of our one night together. Shaking my head, I just frowned and looked up at him, easily meeting his gaze. I wasn't going to back down either! He'd crossed a line. "What the hell is it with you Cullens kids? You think you own the world or something! You walked all over people back in high school and you're still doing it now! Well guess what, Jasper? It's stopping now. So we slept together, so what? I'm not one of your little groupies from back then! You can't just snap your fingers and have everything your way! It doesn't work that way and I damn sure don't operate on those terms."

Jasper didn't look the least bit phased by my mini tirade, but I did notice the small quirk his eyebrow made before he regained control of his face. "Are you done yet?"

"No." I exploded from there and threw my hands up angrily. "Why in the hell did you even fuck me in the first place!? It's not like you gave a shit about me in high school, but now you're magically all up in my life. I didn't come find you because I didn't want to. It was a one-night-stand, and they're labeled that for a very specific reason. You're not supposed to see each other after the night's over! No way in hell was I about to subject myself to you telling the entire town that you hated having the new girl in town all over your junk."

"What if I don't want it to just be a one-night-stand?" He blurted out, completely overlooking everything else I said. My temper flared at that but I bit down on my tongue so he could continue. "I had a really good time with you that night."

I laughed in spite of myself, entirely surprised by how bitter I sounded as I turned away from him and shook my head yet again. "You did, huh?" I asked and easily pivoted around to face him. "Then why did it take you two weeks to find me?" I could feel the hint of a sarcastic smile playing on my lips and sighed, letting it fade as I passed him and went to the front door.

Yanking it open, I just leaned back against the wall behind me and waved toward the door. "I think you should leave."

"What?" He sputtered and a brief moment of hesitation washed through me. I hated seeing the look on his face. The anger was completely gone now, replaced with surprise and small hints of sadness.

"We're just going in circles here." I sighed and reclined my head back when I felt my own anger starting to fade away. "And I really do not want to fight with you. It was one night, it happened. That's _it._ Please go back to what you were doing before I came to town."

Jasper looked down at his feet and when he met my eyes again, I instantly wanted to disappear into the wall. The anger was back! And directed entirely at me. Air stuck in my throat and I felt frozen, rooted in place with my front door hanging wide open. But his expression slowly relaxed and I shivered involuntarily when he suddenly smiled and leaned into me, positioning his lips right against my ear. "You know, you're kinda sexy when you're angry and yelling at me."

Then, just like that, he turned and walked out of the apartment.

I could only shake my head slowly as I closed the door and leaned back against it. If I hadn't been completely confused by Jasper Hale before, I definitely was now! Nothing about him and the way he acted around me made any sense. I'd unintentionally dropped a lot of hints about us having a less-than-stellar past but he'd completely overlooked them. He was just way too focused on the one-night-stand aspect of our weird little...thing.

Suddenly, I didn't want to think about this anymore. I'd already invested way too much time and mental focus on it as it stood. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about him and everything that happened that night. I climbed to my feet and headed straight for the stereo. I couldn't sit still any longer so that meant watching TV was out. Getting a CD loaded in quickly, I smiled in relief when a familiar pulsing interrupted the silence that refused to leave the apartment. Adjusting the volume so that it was loud enough for my taste, but not too loud to disrupt neighbors, I turned and started to dance around the living room.

I wasn't good at dancing by any means of the imagination, but that hadn't ever stopped me from enjoying the exertion. I never felt more free in my childhood than when I would dance around my bedroom. Usually my music of choice came from my older brother, who always had some new gem that only we shared. Our parents hated it because of some of the lyrical content, naturally, but that only seemed to propell him into keeping the tradition set between us. That was _our_ thing, he said a long time ago as he handed me a CD case and instructed me on how to hide it. No one could take it away from us or come in and try to ruin the time we spent together.

Tears sprang to my eyes involuntarily and I froze in the middle of the living room. It still hurt, even after all the time that had passed, to think of my big brother. I'd idolized him so much and thought he was the greatest person in my world. While our parents worked long hours to make sure we had food and clothes, it fell on my brother to watch out for me. And he never complained once, like most of the boys he hung out with did. They hated having to drag their little sibling along with them wherever they went. But that wasn't entirely the case with us. His friends generally liked hanging out with me and I soon became just another one of the guys. They didn't worry about offending me, or being on their best behavior because a girl just so happened to be in the room. And as the years passed, they became my brothers too. They all looked out for me and made sure I was okay. Even after....

I clenched my eyes shut and focused on the music still blaring from the stereo to drown out unwanted thoughts. I didn't want to think about that either. This was my day off and I was determined to enjoy it to the best of my ability.

I just never thought to account for two ghosts to come lurking out of my past.

It probably wasn't healthy, to be running away from everything that I was trying to outlast. But I didn't care. I'd never really been good at dealing with things and my adult years didn't serve to break that trend. It just seemed to be even worse now because there was more to run from. The ghosts of a broken home, a family shattered by tragedy. We'd been so happy up until I turned fifteen and had at least one year of high school bliss under my belt. All of that ended so suddenly that sometimes it was difficult to remember the happier times. The depression and darkness was still too new sometimes for me to reflect beyond that. And now I had the ghosts of my life at school. The boy I had envisioned falling in love with, the boy that would somehow overlook all the bad shit that swirled around me and mercifully pull me from it's trenches. But that never happened, Cinderella never got her glass slipper back and the prince refused to search for her. My life had never been a fairytale, but for a few fleeting years, I'd hoped for just that.

I could still remember the dull ache that constantly settled in my chest and hoping feverishly for a knight in shining armor to whisk me away from it all. To take me from the echos of a family that no longer existed and would never again exist. But that never happened, no one saved me from the deep pit that I always seemed to be staring into. I could never get away from the edge, I was always placed precariously close to falling in.

I didn't care about changing my clothes as I whirled around and shut the stereo off mid-song. It wasn't theraputic anymore. The melodies held too many ghosts and I couldn't stand to be haunted. So I lurched into my bedroom and dug out my worn, black running shoes. A pair of socks were grabbed on my way out and by the time I was ready, keys in hand, I had a plan.

I'd run until I was too exhuasted to think about anything other than my next breath of air.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Dun dun duuuun! Hope y'all enjoy._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking credit for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Eight:**

"Schae!" I groaned and flung my arm out instinctively, willing my eyes to stay closed. Just five more minutes. That was all I wanted! Why couldn't I sleep just a _little_ longer?

I groaned again when incessant shaking was added to the list of annoying and I blearily opened one eye to find Bella standing over me. A really curious expression on her face. She actually looked worried!

"Wha...?" I sighed and flopped over onto my back. It was clear that Bella wasn't going to go away and leave me to the rest I so desperately wanted. Plus the look on her face was really starting to bother me. Why did she look so damn _worried_?

I had been sleeping more than normal, I couldn't deny that. But I'd also been pulling longer shifts at the hospital. Rachelle was amazed at the progress I'd made in the month and half I'd been employed and because of that, no longer rode my ass while I was doing my shift duties. She had faith in me and had even started giving me more responsibility. I wasn't entirely complaining, but it usually wiped me out at the end of the day. The text messages were still appearing sporatically on my phone and I knew I'd have to do something about that eventually. Over a month and he was still trying to get in contact with me.

Some people were just way too idiotic for their own good sometimes.

Sighing mutely, I carefully sat up and pushed hair off my forehead as Bella plopped down on the empty space of my bed. She was still looking at me oddly and I huffed in frustration. "Bella, just say it."

Wow, my fuse was awfully short these days too. I'd never snapped at Bella before, not even when I was seeing red and wanted to trash everything around me. Yet another thing I could add to the list of growing weirdness over the past month. That whole list wanted me to groan and pull the covers back up over my head.

"Why're you so tired all the time?"

I blinked in surprise and just stared at her for a second before shrugging. "I've been pulling in a lot of overtime at the hospital. Twelve hour-shifts always kick my ass."

"That's not it." She surmised with a swift shake of her head and reclined back on one elbow, making herself perfectly comfortable while I shifted and squirmed anxiously in my spot. "You're not as hungry as you used to be and when you _actually_ are, you pig out! If you're not sleeping or at work, then you're eating. And call me crazy but I know my cooking's not bad enough to send someone running for the bathroom."

"Stress." I replied automatically. A little _too_ automatically. Okay, I was going to give my roommate even more credit. She was way too observant sometimes. It'd never really been irritating until now. When my every move was being documented and filed away.

"Lie." She blurted out evenly and I fleetingly wanted to smack her for how casual she sounded in calling me out.

Frowning, I threw the blankets off my legs and stood up. I was instantly smacked with a weird bout of nausea and dizziness, and fell back onto the bed with a heavy sigh. So much for my fabulous get-away plan. "I don't know what you want me to say, Bella. I'm just exhausted from work and stressed out. That's it."

She kept frowning at me but slowly nodded and moved to sit beside me on the bed. "Can I ask just one more question?"

"Sure." I laughed humerously and threw my hands up in a futile gesture of surrender. "What's up?"

Bella looked torn for a second, chewing on her bottom lip before she stopped and stared me evenly in the eye. "When was the last time you had your period? I don't want to sound gross or anything, but I haven't noticed you buying anything for that lately."

That question brought me up short. And caused my stomach to clench violently. Ignoring it as best I could, I swallowed thickly and took a couple shallow breaths as I raked a hand through my hair. "I honestly don't remember, B. It's probably just from stress though. My body always whacks out when I'm like this."

She nodded again then lightly placed her hand on top of mine. "I think you need to go talk to Jasper. See if anything was used the night you were...together. I may not be all-knowing in the areas of sex, but I'm not as sheltered as I used to be either. I think there's something besides stress and exhaustion that's kicking your butt right now."

"No." I growled and shot to my feet again, shaking off Bella's comforting touch as I moved. Thankfully I wasn't hit with any dizziness this time and stalked over to my closet, wrenching the door aside before I turned back around to face her. "What's talking to Jasper going to do? I know my own body, Bella. I've been in it for the past twenty-two years. There's no way...no." I shook my head violently again and pivoted back around to the closet.

"Okay." She replied and I listened quietly as she rustled around with something then appeared at my door. "I left something for you on your bed. I think you should really consider using it."

I waited a good five minutes after Bella left before I turned and walked back over to my bed. The covers were everywhere, probably tossed around during my fitful hours of sleep. I was having nightmares again but refused to let myself think about that. I'd always had nightmares. Or at least, I had from the time I turned fifteen up until now.

But I couldn't focus on my sleeping habits once I saw what Bella had left for me. Groaning in frustration, I just picked up the long rectangular box and stared angrily at it. Of course she'd left _this_ for me. But why?

Again, Bella Swan was painfully more observant than I wanted her to be sometimes.

Pitching the box onto my dresser, I just sighed and flopped back onto my mattress. I'd never wanted to go back to sleep more than I did right then. I had too much to think about now and none of it was pleasant. I didn't have a single thing floating around in my head that I _wanted_ to think about. How was that entirely possible? Clearly my life had gotten much more irritating than I'd wanted it to.

All that was supposed to happen when I left Forks for Chicago was to have a normal life. One that was stress-free and centered soley around nursing. That was what I wanted most, what I was most focused on as I traded one atmosphere for another. Then things got complicated in Chicago so I decided to try again. I figured coming back to Forks would have it's challenges, especially with the reputation my family had in this small town.

But I _never_ thought that I would have these kind of challenges to deal with. It was especially worse that these challenges were now somehow linked to Jasper Hale.

* * *

Why did I think that going into work had been a good idea? Right. The money and the distraction. But even those weren't serving the purpose they once did.

All because of the damn conversation Bella had brought up two days ago. Every since then, all I could think about was that stupid little box she'd left on my bed. It was still on my dresser, practically taunting me everytime I walked past. I didn't need it, but yet I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Obsessively.

"Schae?" Jumping in surprise, I turned around slowly and smiled sheepishly when I saw Dr. Cullen coming toward me. Yeah, this day wasn't going to get any better if the look on his face was an indicator of what he was about to say.

"What's up?" I chirped, wincing internally at how lame I sounded. But I just stood still, rooted in place and hugging a chart to my chest.

"I was wondering if I could possibly talk to you for a moment?" He asked and abruptly, his expression changed. He didn't look mad or upset, not even hurried as he had when he was approaching me. Now he just reminded me of a concerned father that wasn't sure whether or not he was supposed to be getting involved.

I automatically wanted to melt into the floor and just disappear. But I nodded and turned to set my chart in it's designated slot then gestured ahead of me. "I just finished my rounds and was going to get something to drink. But that can wait, what do you need to talk to me about?"

He smiled again, still kind and compassionate as he started to lead the way to the elevators. "I think we might be able to do both. I'm due for a break myself."

"Okay." I braved another smile but pretended to squint up at him once we stepped inside the elevators and the doors dinged closed. "Wait, this isn't going to end up looking like I'm trying to hit on you, is it? Cause, no offense or anything, but wedding rings always make men look hideous to me and I do _not_ want to be lumped in with the rest of the nasty nursing population around here. I actually respect marriages, especially yours."

Dr. Cullen's eyes widened for about a split second before he started to shake with what I hoped was silent laughter. He was still smiling, so that was a good sign. "I won't let any rumors circulate about our spending time together. And I do appreciate you saying that, as odd as it was phrased."

I nodded and smiled gratefully up at him, but fell silent as we stepped off the elevator and started for the cafeteria. It bugged me the entire time, what he could possibly have to want to talk about. But I waited, impatiently, and wrinkled my nose when the smell of food hit me wrong. Okay, I was a lot more stressed that I originally thought. I refused to acknowledge what Bella thought was going on with me.

Settling on a bottle of water, I blew out a low breath and slid into an empty chair, Dr. Cullen taking the one across the table from me so that the air of professionality was kept. People would talk way too much if he chose to sit right beside me. And that was the last thing on earth that I needed. Work was still my safe haven from the other host of problems I had waiting for me at home.

Pushing that from my mind, I took a quick sip of my water then closed the bottle and rested my chin on the top. "So what do you wanna talk about with me? Have I done something...?" I asked and was suddenly seized by a moment of panic. I'd assumed this was about something personal. I wasn't dumb enough to believe that Jasper had kept completely silent about that one night. But Dr. Cullen was one of my superiors. I had to do what he said. I groaned inwardly and started fidgeting in my seat.

"You did nothing wrong." He supplied quickly, somehow sensing how uneasy I suddenly felt and smiled reassuringly at me. "You're actually coming along quite well. I've heard nothing but compliments from the ER staff about you and patients like how you operate."

I breathed a silent sigh of relief and smiled timidly. "T...thanks. But I don't understand. If I haven't done anything then why...?" I trailed off then gestured around us.

Yet again, he looked worried about crossing some sort of line but sighed and bent his head toward me a little. "I've noticed something a little...off about you in the past few weeks. I just wanted to see if you've been feeling well. You're looking more tired than normal and it concerns me."

Oh great, he was getting in on the act too! But there wasn't a damn thing I could do about Dr. Cullen. Blowing up at him would not serve my best purpose. He didn't really seem like the type to back down easily.

"I'm just tired." I responded and hated how automatic my words had become. Every time Bella brought it up at home, I had the same reply ready for her. I was tired. I was stressed. I was starting to think I was just lying to myself. "I still haven't completely settled in yet and I'm worried about my performance on the floor. It's tough being the new kid, you know?" I attempted to joke, even cracking a wry smile before I sombered up.

"I understand." He announced suddenly, but didn't really look like he believed me. Oh goodie. I just stayed still as he started to climb to his feet then picked up the discarded wrapper of the candy bar he'd gotten from the vending machines. "But I do want you to have your monthly physical as soon as possible. If you're sick, we need to catch it as early as possible so you don't risk losing any hours."

I gulped and nodded, muttering that I would schedule the apointment for that as soon as possible. He smiled gratefully at me then turned and strode out of the cafeteria. I knew I should've gotten up when he did to go back to the ER. But my body just wasn't working with me. I felt frozen to the chair and the small ball of nausea in the pit of my stomach was growing noticably larger by the second.

That was what eventually got me out of the chair and walking hurriedly for the nearest bathroom. I just barely got inside before what little stomach contents I had were emptied into the first toilet I could find. My body convulsed with dry heaves more than anything and eventually I was able to lean back against the stall door and catch my breath. Something definitely wasn't right.

Dr. Cullen and Bella were, just as I'd feared, onto something.


	9. Chapter 9

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__I know I did this in the last chapter, but I'm doing it again. Dun dun duuuuun! I've been thinking very seriously about some of the things I'm not able to write about given the story's point of view. So! In order to fix that and hopefully flesh the story out a little more for myself, I've been considering writing out exerpts or little scenes and sending them to whoever wants them. Maybe to those that review for enticement? What do you guys think? Anyway, enjoy lovelies!_

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm only taking credit for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Nine:**

As soon as I got home, I made a direct beeline for my bedroom. Bella was on the couch and as I passed through, scrambled to her feet in an attempt to follow me.

"You okay?" She asked, but I just ignored her as I stormed into my room and snatched up the little box.

Whirling around, I knew I was unjustly mad at her but I couldn't help myself. "If I take this stupid thing, will all of you get off my back about how I've been acting?"

Taken by surprise, she actually blinked and stepped back before nodding as she got her expression under control. "Yeah. Or at least I will. Why, someone else say something?"

"Yeah." I bit out then sighed and fell back onto my bed. Whining, I flopped back then winced when the box in my hand hit me square in the stomach. "Dr. Cullen decided that he needed to talk to me today. At work. After that, I had to duck into the nearest bathroom and heave."

Bella blanched at my words and quickly sat down beside me. "What did he say? Are you in trouble?"

"No." I shook my head and turned to look up at her. "He just asked if I was feeling okay. He wants me to get my monthly physical as soon as possible. I can only _imagine_ how this all is gonna turn out." I frowned as my thoughts momentarily ran away from me then groaned and forced myself upright.

"Okay, once and for all taking this stupid thing!" Before Bella could say anything, I jogged to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I knew she wouldn't intrude but still. It felt strangely good to exert a little of physicality. This whole thing was already starting to scare me. I hadn't realized that anyone aside from Bella would notice my sluggish behavior.

Sighing, I plopped the box down on the counter then looked up to stare at my reflection. Crap, I looked hideous! The circles under my eyes were darkening and I looked paler than normal. Since I'd never really been into makeup, my exhaustion was painfully obvious to anyone who looked at me. I was suddenly and feverishly glad that I hadn't run into Jasper since the day he showed up at my apartment to talk.

"Just get it over with." I muttered at my reflection then pushed away from the counter and ripped the box open. Once everything was set, I set the long device down and went to sit down, leaning my back against the tub as I stared blankly ahead of me. I didn't want to be doing this. I hated waiting anxiously for anything and this was excrutiating. Especially considering I'd never done anything like this before.

I'd always been so extremely careful with my actions. I always thought before I acted, it was just too engrained in my head for me to do anything else. But I'd broken my one rule and now I was sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting out three agonizingly slow minutes to tick by so I would know if there was another reason for my fatigue, stress, and wild mood swings.

A timid knock on the door pulled me from my reviere then Bella's head suddenly appeared. "Is this one of those times when you want to be alone?" She asked and more of her body slowly appeared from behind the bright white door.

Smiling sadly, I just shook my head and waved her inside. "Definitely not. Get your skinny ass in here."

For the first time since this whole damn subject had been brought up, Bella laughed and slid onto the floor beside me. It surprised me a little when she linked her arms through mine, but I relaxed pretty quickly and sighed at the fallen silence. I could tell she wanted to say something, probably ask questions about where my head was at and how I felt about all of this, but she wasn't saying a word. That surprised me too but I was too grateful to do anything about it.

Lost in my own thoughts, I squeaked in surprise when Bella suddenly tried to lurch to her feet. "Dude...?!" I muttered and looked up at her curiously. But when I saw the thing she was looking at, I sighed and climbed to my own feet. Of course I could count on Bella to be paying better attention to the time than I was.

"Ready for this?" She asked quietly, clearly worried about how I was about to proceed. Shrugging, I just glanced down at the little contraption and winced when my stomach lurched violently.

"Not really." I muttered then turned and ducked for the toilet. I hadn't had anything to eat since the hospital but the dry heaves were so painful that a headache suddenly began to form behind my eyes. Great, just what I needed to make this day so much better. Bella was beside me in an instant, holding my hair back as I wretched violently into the toilet bowl. Finally, the shaking subsided enough for me to fall back on my butt and scoot far enough back that I could lean against the wall.

Bella knelt in front of me and helped me push hair off my forehead. "Want me to look?"

With my mouth as dry as it abruptly was, I just nodded weakly and closed my eyes while she stood and turned back to the sink. I heard the sharp intake of breath and grimaced in preparation for whatever she was about to say next.

"Schae..." She started and I looked up at the concern in her voice. Nausea and dizziness forgotten about momentarily, I jumped up and met her eyes briefly before looking down as well.

"Oh _hell_." I groaned and covered my face with both hands as soon as I saw the source of Bella's gasp.

Looks like I was going to be having another conversation with Jasper after all.

"Maybe it's wrong." Bella supplied, probably in an attempt to placate me. As much as I appreciated the effort, it was in vain. The pieces suddenly fit and I had no way of being able to magically scatter them all again. I knew exactly what was going on in my body now, even without the added confirmation I would get the following day.

This was the one thing I'd been dreading most. The one thing I just didn't want to think about with everything else swirling around in my head.

How had my luck possibly have gone from bad to so much worse?

* * *

Raking both hands through my hair, I sighed quietly and kept my eyes on the table in front of me. It'd been almost two days since my scheduled physical and I was waiting to hear back from Rachelle about my results. My stomach was in knots and I'd already had to race for the bathroom at least twice. I was just glad that nothing had majorly happened in there, but I was starting to get a little sick of the dry heaving.

I blew out a low breath and glanced at the clock to my right for what felt like the upteenth time. I just wanted the stupid results already! I hated being on pins and needles, not knowing what was going on within my own life. It all seemed to go right back to my issues with control and having things happen the way I wanted them too.

Too bad things got yanked out of my hands quite often. This being one of those times.

Noticing movement out of the corner of my eye, my spine suddenly felt like someone had welded a metal rod to it when I saw Rachelle coming toward me. A folder was in her hand and I was almost entirely positive that I did _not_ want to hear what she was going to say.

The expression on her face said it all before she even sat down. I could tell she was worried and she was frowning, so that wasn't entirely a good sign. But she just sighed and set the folder down then crossed her arms over it. "Okay, I want to start off by saying that this doesn't go beyond us. I don't blab about everyone's results to whoever will listen. I sit down with each and every one of my nurses and go over with them any revelations that the tests expose."

"Okay." I drawled out slowly, resisting the urge to wave my hand frantically so she could just get on with it. Couldn't she see how aggravated I already was?! This type of thing had never happened to me before and she had my stress-reducer right under her arms. For a woman who didn't like to abuse power, she was doing a pretty damn good job of it right about now. "So I'm guessing something was found. Am I right?"

She nodded and bit down on her lower lip before she squirmed in her seat. She _actually_ squirmed! I'd never seen the woman do that before. She was over fifty for crying out loud and built like a steel boulder. This was a woman that was tougher than nails but yet she was squirming and avoiding eye contact with me.

This really wasn't going to end well.

"Just say it, Rachelle." I whispered, nearly begging as I clenched my eyes shut and shoved my forehead into my hand. My elbow skipped across the table a little at the action but I otherwise ignored any other movement my body made on it's own. I just couldn't look at my boss while she dragged out the suspense and made me want to reach across the damn table for my file. It _was_ mine after all. I didn't think I'd get in a whole lot of trouble.

But I waited and nodded right along with Rachelle as she went over my blood work, hearing, and vision tests. I already knew I was blind. My lovely contacts reminded me of that pretty regularly and I wasn't even getting into the geeky, rectangular frames of my glasses. But when she got to the last battery of tests, she flipped the folder closed and leaned a little closer to me.

"Schae, you know that if you need to talk to anyone, you can come to me. I don't want you to just think of me as your boss. I'm here to help, honey."

"I know that." I muttered and finally opened my eyes to look at her. But I didn't do anything else beyond that. Okay, this woman was really starting to freak me out. What was up with my test results?!

She nodded slowly, blew out a low breath, then laced her fingers together. All on top of my freaking folder! "I can tell I'm killing you with this so I'll just come out and say it. You're pregnant, Schae."

And just like that, my entire world crumbled in around me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even _think_. I dimly felt pressure on my arm but couldn't force my eyes to zero in on what was pressing against my arm. But when I heard the scrape of Rachelle's chair against the linoleum floor, I jerked up right and stared at her. My eyes felt huge on my face and I probably looked freakishly insane right then.

The older woman quickly came to my side and laid her hand on my shoulder, lowering her upper body so that she could speak clearly, but still make it difficult for anyone to overhear us. "I'm giving you the rest of the day off. Go home, relax and let all of this sink in. You're getting tomorrow off as well. I'm assuming that the father of your child will need to be told."

I just nodded numbly and managed to flash her a grateful, albeit strangled smile then slowly started to climb to my feet. I was in shock, that was the only way I could explain what was happening to me. I remembered Rachelle leaving me to go back to the ER so she could cover me for the rest of the day and I managed to get out to my car with no major problems.

It wasn't until I had slid into the driver's seat, the door clicking shut behind me as I shoved my key into the ignition that I lost it. Tears streamed hot and furious from my eyes, easily blurring my vision as my body began to fold in on itself. The momentary grief was just too much and I idly wondered if this was what drowning felt like. Did the victim feel the same as I did? That the wave pulling them under had miraculously entered their body and made it that much more difficult to fight? Struggling was useless, but I did punch my steering wheel a couple of times with the heel of my hand.

I was still sobbing when my cell phone began to ring annoyingly. I didn't bother trying to clear my vision enough to inspect the Caller ID. I didn't care who was calling me, but they'd definitely picked the wrong time to try and get in contact with me.

"Hello?" I muttered, actually managing to sound like I hadn't just been bawling my eyes out right before answering the phone.

"Are you okay?" Bella's voice greeted me immediately and I was so damn glad in that moment that she technically had the summer off.

"No." I wailed and winced at how broken my voice sounded. My head flopped back against the headrest of my seat and I futily tried to wipe tears from my eyes. "I'm too...I got sent home."

I heard Bella sigh on the other end of the phone but that was followed by a loud slam just seconds later. That got my attention! "Where are you and are you going to be able to drive home?"

"Parking lot." I sighed heavily and finally sat up enough to glance around at my surroundings. A weird sort of pang fluttered through my chest when I noticed Dr. Cullen's black Mercedes parked a couple of slots away from where I was. The car wasn't as modern or hip as most cars owned by doctors, but he'd had it since I was in high school. It looked like it'd just been driven off the lot by a driver that had a taste for vintage cars. Too bad he was probably the only one in his family that had the same common sense about their vehicles. Well, minus Jasper who drove around on a vintage Harley.

Just the sheer thought of him nearly sent me reeling again and I had to fight to keep the tears at bay. I tried to work with Bella as best I could, promising that I would be slow in driving home and meet her there. We'd do whatever I wanted for dinner but food was the last thing on my mind. Ending the call, I just sighed and wiped my eyes again before I focused on manuevering out of the parking lot and getting home unscathed. The last damn thing in the world I needed was to get into a horrific car accident. Yeah, that would go over _so _well with my sudden decision to keep my new condition a secret for as long as possible.

At least until I figured out how to follow Rachelle's advice and let the father know.

I pulled into the parking lot of our apartment building right as more tears began to trickle from my eyes. The next twenty-four hours were going to be longer than the last month and half had been.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Two chapters for the price of one! Experts starting now for those who review. Enjoy!_

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Ten:**

"Thank you." I mumbled as I handed Bella my plate. She was doing the dishes tonight, claiming that I just needed to worry about getting myself put back together. Even though I refused, adamantly, she still ended up taking the chore right out of my hands.

But at least my comfort food had worked. I'd grown up convinced that pizza could fix anything. And I was even able to keep it down. For now. Which was probably why Bella was refusing to let me do anything! If this was going to become a trend....

"For what?" She asked and looked over at me expectantly as I carefully climbed onto the counter.

I just shrugged and lightly bounced my bare heels against the cabinet beneath me. "For not telling me what I should or shouldn't do. I know you have strong opinions about all of this but I...I appreciate you not hounding me with them tonight."

She sighed and her shoulders slumped before she forgot about the dishes and grabbed a rag to dry her hands off on. "Schae, I can't imagine what you're going through. This is monumentally big and you just got confirmation today. From your supervisor. She's bound to start treating you differently and once word gets out, everyone else probably will too. And you don't need me telling you what to do, especially when you can't forget the one thing you probably wish you could."

"You're way too wise for your own good." I muttered darkly then flashed her a bright smile. It faded and I just smiled lightly at her. "But I still need to thank you though. I half expected to walk in here and find you packing my stuff! You didn't exactly sign up for a pregnant roommate, Bells."

Bella shrugged and smiled as she tossed the rag aside then plunged her hands back into the hot soapy water. "Well, the way I see it, my roommate didn't exactly plan on getting pregnant. So why should I throw her out for something that was beyond her control?" She shrugged then smiled sadly at me. "I'm not going to kick you out either. This is as much your home as it is mine. Especially since you make more money than I do!"

I had to laugh at that and leaned my head back against the wall cabinet behind me. "Okay, let's not start splitting hairs about money, okay?" I teased then winked at her before carefully hopping off the counter. As soon as I got my balance, I groaned and sagged back against the counter when a dizzy spell hit me.

"Okay." I muttered and pointed up at the ceiling. "This is _so_ going to take some getting used to! And this better not last the whole nine months."

Bella snickered then stopped suddenly and stared at me with wide eyes. "Wait, does that mean you've decided to keep it?"

I blinked in surprise and froze. "Huh." I muttered then looked up at her sheepishly. "I guess I never really thought about _not_ keeping it, you know? It's like...I don't know, the decision was made for me as soon as Rachelle confirmed that I am...yeah."

Bella sighed and shook her head sadly as she turned to face me. "Schae, you're going to have to start using that word eventually. Please say you're not going to avoid thinking about this until you start showing."

I grimaced and even stuck my tongue out at her before I turned toward the door. "Back to the dishes!" I joked and pointed at the sink then let my arm drop to my side. "I just need more processing time, that's all. I can safely promise you that this is something I won't be able to help thinking about. Especially with this damn consta-nausea and dizziness thing."

I left Bella to finish the dishes, snickering at my reaction to these new events. It was just something I was going to have to get used to, not being in control of my own body and everything that was happening inside of it.

Instead of going to my bedroom, I ended up in the bathroom. I needed to take a shower and change clothes, I was still dressed from work. I slid my scrubs off carefully, afraid that one wrong move would send me racing for the toilet. I couldn't remember the last time I'd kept food down for an undefined amount of time. As I passed the sink to turn the water on in the tub, I caught my reflection out of the corner of my eye and stopped short. Straightening back up, I sighed and tilted my head slightly as my hands swept over my stomach. There were barely any outward changes to the new secret I was carrying. But I could see them.

The stomach I'd worked so hard for was already starting to soften. The lines adorning my midsection were a little less faint than the last time I'd studied my abdomen, but for some odd reason; I didn't care. I knew the cause of my hard work being reversed. I'd never been terribly overweight in my childhood and teenage years. My curves had been soft, cushioned with lingering baby weight that had never been exercised off. Now, all of that baby fat was gone, replaced with taunt lines of musculature that had never made up my outward appearance before.

Sighing again, my hands folded together over the space of my lower stomach, where I was almost sure this new little life inside of me had taken root. "I'll make everything right." I promised my reflection, my eyes on my folded hands and the mystery growing beneath them.

No matter what I'd been running from in the past, no matter what this town remembered about me and the family I'd been born into, none of that was going to touch my future. I was going to have to face it all if I wanted a shot at giving this child, _my _child the kind of life I wanted for him or her.

After all, they hadn't asked to be born to me. But I was suddenly determined to make sure that this child never came to me and wished to have never been born.

* * *

Bella watched me carefully as I moved around the living room at a slow pace. I'd woken up way too early for my liking thanks to morning sickness and loathed the idea of doing anything that took me out of the apartment. But I had a very important errand to run. I knew how this town worked. I didn't want certain townsfolk to hear my news from someone else's lips.

"Where're you off to?" She asked, finally noticing the jeans and oversized sweater I'd thrown on over a random tank top.

I just shrugged and sat down to tug my shoes on. "I think maybe you're right. I need to go talk to...him. It wouldn't be fair for him to hear this from someone else."

She nodded thoughtfully, biting down on her lower lip as her eyes continued to follow me. I sighed and fell back against the couch once my shoes were on and tied. "Are you afraid of what he'll say?"

"You mean," I started and turned my head to face her. "Him accusing me of sleeping with someone else and asking if I'm sure this is his child?"

"Yeah." She muttered and her lips actually popped at the single syllable she'd just posed. "But I don't think he'd do something like that."

"Bella," I sighed and sat back up, gripping the couch cushions beneath me in preparation to stand, "He's a Cullen. Do you remember the girl that tried to make Edward Cullen think he'd gotten her pregnant? He made her life miserable for the rest of the school year."

She nodded and glanced down at her lap before regaining eye contact with me. "But in his defense, Jessica Stanley pretty much deserved everything she got. It wasn't some big secret, how nasty she was. And she was pretty pissed that he dumped her without any warning."

"That's no excuse to make up a pregnancy scam in an attempt to get him back." I blurted out, frowning when I realized that I was defending Edward Cullen's actions. _Edward Cullen_. A boy who had helped make my life insanely horrible. Granted, he had never really been in the same league as my other torturers, but he hadn't stopped any of them from pouncing on me. But at least I could say that only one year had been the most unbarable.

The second semester of my sophomore year. When my favorite protector hadn't been around to shelter me from it all.

"Schae?" Bella's quiet voice pulled me from my thoughts, causing me to look up at her sharply. She just smiled sadly and scooted over to lay her hand on my arm. As I gazed down, I realized I'd started shaking.

Huh. Wonder which memory had caused _that_.

"I'll be okay." I smiled encouragingly at her and nodded, using my other hand to pat hers. "I just gotta get all of this done and taken care of." Grinning at her again, I just climbed to my feet then grabbed my keys. "I'll probably leave my cell phone in the car so if you need me, just leave a message."

Bella called her consent and I was grateful for not having to explain my reasoning behind that one. I frowned up at the sky as I stepped out into the parking lot. Typical dreary day in Forks, I could practically _feel_ the moisture in the air. I got my car unlocked and slid inside, but instead of turning the vehicle on; I just leaned back and looked around at the pale gray interior.

Because of my height, I'd always had to drive pretty close to the steering wheel. Thankfully this was a small car so I never felt freakishly tiny. But now I couldn't help wondering what it would be like when I had to shove my seat back to make room for my growing belly. Would my feet still reach the pedals? Would I even be able to drive as my body expanded more and more? And then there were thoughts about the father of my child and the kind of role he would want to take in our lives.

A sudden, sickening thought gripped me and I nearly doubled over in pain. My head gently thumped against the wheel and my arms curled against my stomach. How could I not have realized this before? What had been going through my mind and distancing me so much from my past in Chicago that I missed one _very_ important fact?

Instead of heading for Jasper's apartment, I instead went to the hospital. I needed the facts. My head was already swimming and the nausea was even worse by the time I pulled into the parking lot. Killing the engine, I rested my chin against the wheel but nearly froze when I saw a very familiar motorcycle parked next to Carlisle's Mercedes.

Yeah, so much for a stress-free day off.

I had my cell phone in my hands before I was consciously aware of movement. Bella's number appeared easily on my screen and I hit the tiny, green button then shoved the sliding blue device up to my ear.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked without any preamble, having answered on the second ring.

"I ended up at the hospital." I blurted out, my head so jumbled that I had absolutely no idea how I was going to say everything I wanted my roommate to know. I still couldn't believe I'd gotten myself into this kind of mess.

"And...?" She prompted, her voice stressed and surprisingly loud.

"Jasper's here. So is his dad." I answered quickly then let out a small whimper of panic. Wow, when I lost control over a situation, I _really_ lost control. No doing things half-ass for me, oh no!

"Okay." Bella drew the word out slowly, as if she was somehow trying to use the two seconds of silence to figure out what to say or do next. "Just go in and act normal. Maybe he won't notice." She answered nonchalantly then gasped. "Wait, why're you at the hospital? I thought you had today off."

"I do." I snapped then winced and leaned my head back on my seat. "Permanant apologies for snapping, okay?"

I heard a small snort filter through the line, but nothing else. I was a little grateful for that. "In effect. Now why are you at the hospital?"

I sighed and shifted in my seat then looked around. "Cause I need to know _exactly_ how far along I am."

"And why do you need to know that?" Bella asked then fell silent for a second. "Wait, okay beside the obvious reasons. But still, why's it so important? You just found out yesterday, you don't have to have everything figured out now."

I hated to admit it, but Bella _did_ have a point. Why was I rushing to find everything out? Why did it have to be _today_, why couldn't it be tomorrow or the next day?

The answer hit me like a wrecking ball and I knew I couldn't keep it from Bella. I could probably keep it from everyone else, but not my best friend and roommate.

"Because I need to know when I got pregnant so I can figure out if someone else might have gotten me knocked up."


	11. Chapter 11

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Eleven:**

As soon as I walked through the sliding glass doors of the emergency room, Rachelle was on me like white on rice. I guess she had really meant it when she told me to take today off. All so I could figure things out. Which, if a person wanted to get technical, was exactly what I was doing!

"Schae." Rachelle breathed and stopped about a foot away from me. I walked into the nursing station and smiled more convincingly than I felt. "What can I do for you, honey?"

I drew in a deep breath then shrugged and let it out slowly. "I...had a couple of questions. Do you think we could talk privately?"

"Of course." She consented quickly and moved to steer me toward an empty exam room. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and followed quietly, keeping my eyes open just in case. I'd never felt awkward in a hospital after the age of thirteen. I'd spent enough time in one during that time and it had actually been what inspired me into my given career path. But as I followed Rachelle past the flimsy green curtain, I felt weird and uncomfortable. Almost as if I were waiting on the boogieman to jump out from behind a corner and scare the bejesus outta me.

Maybe, just maybe, that was what I was expecting. With Jasper playing said monster.

Shaking those thoughts from my head, I sighed and hopped up onto the papered exam table. Rachelle stayed close to me, her arms wrapped across her chest as she stared at me in concern. "What do you need to ask me, Schae?"

I sighed again and my shoulders slumped as I stared up at her plainly. "Is there any way I can find out how far along I am? It would make me feel better if I had a date of conception since I can't remember the last time I got my period. And I don't really trust my body with that anyway, it's been irregular in the past."

That wasn't a lie! And I didn't want to think about the time frame when it had been. No one knew about that and no one would. Unless it was absolutely nessessary. I wasn't telling anyone not bound by patient confidentiality.

Rachelle sighed and nodded, but the sadness didn't fade from her features like I'd been hoping it would. Instead she just looked a little guilty as she shifted in front of me. "Sweetie, you need a doctor to perform that. Ultrasounds go beyond the duties of a nurse. Even the head nurse."

I frowned and actually pitched back onto the table with a strangled whine. "That's exactly what I was afraid you'd say."

"Honey," She sighed and came up beside me, laying one hand on my leg while her other hand fluttered against my shoulder. "You can't be so stressed out, you have got to relax. It's still very early in your pregnancy and you haven't been officially checked out by a doctor."

"I know." I muttered and slowly sat back up. Rachelle took a step back, but kept her hand on my shoulder in a gesture that could only be described as motherly.

Abruptly, I found myself wishing for my own mother. I was actually aching to talk to her again, to have the relationship we'd had when I was still a kid and thought boys were gross and only around to throw things at. She'd always been there when I needed someone to talk to. She had been so insanely patient and I always thought that was a true sign of her strength; given the fact that she was mother to a hermit of a thirteen-year-old and a rebellious seventeen-year-old boy.

Thinking about my brother was like ripping open a very old wound and I had to fight back the sobs threatening to overtake my body. I was in the middle of a hospital! The place where I worked. I couldn't afford to lose it here. I was already freaking Rachelle out enough as it was, I didn't want to make that worse. Last thing I needed was to come back to work with everyone looking at me like some kind of freak.

"Schae, is there something else you need to talk about?" Rachelle asked quietly, her voice strong despite the quiet tenor.

I shook my head and shoved hair off my forehead with one hand. "Nah, I'm okay." I nodded and smiled up at her. It felt mangled on my lips and I knew by her reaction, that I didn't look so convincing. I really was going to have to work on that if I didn't want to be stopped twenty times a day by people asking if I was okay.

So I tried again, taking an internal deep breath in and out before I swung my legs over the side of the table and carefully climbed to my feet. "This is just a lot to take in, that's all. I'm barely settled in here and now I've got even more changes to deal with. It's just...it's a lot."

Rachelle nodded, seeming to understand what I was saying, then a peculiar look crossed her features. "Schae, I don't want to sound like I'm intruding or anything, but.... Well, it's just that I haven't heard you mention having a man in your life. All I know about you is that you're living with Chief Swan's daughter. And it's as you said, you're barely settled in here. I'm sorry but some of the pieces just aren't adding up for me."

I'd been expecting that. I just hadn't counted on Rachelle to be the one to make that deduction. Of course it wasn't going to be Bella that came to me with this kind of questioning. She knew everything. Well...almost. She knew about my night with Jasper Hale and my inability to get him out of my head since. The pieces connected for my best friend because she had been there to pick me up the morning after and force me to take a home pregnancy test in order to find out what was going on with me.

Rachelle hadn't. She saw me on a strictly professional level.

So instead of doing as any normal, sane girl would have. I did the exact opposite. I made a bad situation even worse by lying to my boss and possibly having it overheard. "I...left someone behind. In Chicago."

Understanding dawned on Rachelle's features but I knew as soon as I learned how far along I was and my actual date of conception, my lie could possibly be blown right out of the water. And as I slowly made my way out of our little haven of sorts, I began to feverishly wish for that.

I couldn't help but wish for the one thing I'd been scared to think about since the little lines on that damn test popped up. I didn't want anyone but the one man in Forks that I slept with to be the father of my child. It couldn't be the man I left behind in Chicago. There was no way I would wish for that. At least with Jasper, I could formulate some sort of way out. I could try to lie, as I had with Rachelle and wait for it all to blow up in my face. But in the end, where was that going to get me when I couldn't delude myself into believing that there was another possiblity for my condition?

I could let him off the hook so much easier than I could with the guy now sending me haunting text messages. The guy that only wanted me to come home so he could pretend that he hadn't done the one thing he swore he would never do. The one person that made me recoil at the thought of ever jumping into another relationship again.

Keeping my head down, I headed out of the ER and started across the parking lot. I could feel eyes on my back as I went, but I tried to push them from the back of my mind. I had so much that needed to get done and I didn't want to think about who could possibly be watching me.

My luck was against me, as always, so I didn't see the solid obstruction until I'd run directly into it. Or rather, _him_.

I hit the ground hard, gasping as my butt began to radiate with pain. Blinking a few times to clear my vision, I looked up and wanted to burst into tears right then when my eyes met a familiar set of baby blues. Eyes that could only belong to one person.

"Are you okay?" His voice was quiet and sent chills down my spine as he reached out and helped me to my feet. I nodded dumbly and slowly pulled my hand from his once I was steady.

"Yeah." I nodded again and winced as I reached behind me to check my ass for damage. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention and didn't see you...." Trailing off, I looked around and raised an eyebrow slightly when I realized we were standing right beside my car. Nowhere near his bike. "Next to my car."

He chuckled and the sound was strained as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm not stalking you. I just saw your car on my way out and decided to wait."

"Why?" I blurted out in a less than appealing tone then winced. "Sorry." I muttered again then dropped my shoulders in defeat as I fished my keys out of my pocket. "Why would you need to wait for me? I thought we had everything pretty much settled that day you swung by my apartment."

"Yeah." He was stalling. There was no mistaking that as I slowly walked around the back of my car and pushed my key into the driver's side door. "About that, see, I just wanted to apologize. For everything. I shouldn't have ambushed you like that. But I got sick of waiting for you to come see me and I needed to know if you were okay or not."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked as if the answer was staring me in my face. Obvious secrets aside, I couldn't think of a reason why I wouldn't be okay or in need of him coming to check on me. We'd just slept together. Several times. No big deal. He _was_ Edward's brother, the night he spent with me had probably been repeated several times over during the course of his teenage and adult years.

Jasper shrugged and came around the car to stand beside me again. I turned obediantly and waited, my keys still dangling from the door. "Because you were drunk that night and I...well, I've been beating myself up about that. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. It was wrong and I swore I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not the kind of guy that people around here try to make me sound like."

"Then how are you?" I asked before I could really stop myself, my fingers tugging on the hem of my sweater. I could feel a light chill against my left shoulder but otherwise ignored it.

Jasper didn't and I shivered involuntarily when he reached up and replaced the material over my exposed shoulder. Huh. Forgot how big this thing was and the tendency of slipping off my shoulders. "I try to be a pretty good guy when I can be. I just don't want you to assume what everyone else does in this town. I'm not my brother. The way he lives his life is nothing like the way I live mine."

"Why do you want me to know so badly?" Again, before I could entirely stop myself. "Jasper, I don't have any expectations of you. I'm not deluding myself into thinking that something's going to transpire between us beyond that night. You're off the hook, okay?"

He didn't look as relieved as I figured he would when I said that. But then again, he probably wasn't catching the hidden meaning behind my words.

I knew that I had to tell him. The possibility was there and it was very strong. And here he was, doing his best to try and change my opinion of him. What would he do if I kept something like this from him? And I still wanted to be the one to tell him, not someone else. It wasn't right. Or fair.

Blowing out a low breath, I raked both hands through my hair and leaned back heavily against my car. "Jasper, I have something I need to tell you, okay? And remember what I said, you're off the hook."

There wasn't anything reassuring by the way Jasper Hale was now staring at me. His eyes were filled with so much sorrow and worry that my throat was closing in on itself. I couldn't tell him. As much as I wanted to, I could feel myself starting to chicken out. Straightening up, I turned and flipped the lock on my door before looking up at him again.

"I don't compare you to your brother, okay? So mission accomplished. I have no ill feelings or thoughts toward you about what happened between us. I don't think that you took advantage of me either. I wasn't so far gone that I had no idea what I was doing. But it's over now, can we just _please_ move on from it?"

Jasper nodded once, quick and sort of jerky before he turned abruptly and started to weave through the cars for his bike. Tears welled up behind my eyes at once and I felt helpless as I stood rooted in place. He yanked his helmet on and kicked his bike to life, the helmet straps danging against his neck as he threw a leg over the bike and hoisted it up off the kickstand. It wasn't until he was peeling out of the parking lot, looking anywhere but at the space where my car was parked, that I could actually move.

As soon as I was in my car, with both doors locked, I let the floodgates open and swallow me whole.

So much for making a bad situation a little less complicated. Instead of trying to get myself _out_ of this whole, I was just digging myself in deeper. With Jasper Hale and Bella Swan standing at the lip of my hole, watching my every move.


	12. Chapter 12

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ The big reveal! All I'm going to say. Enjoy guys._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I just own Schae and all her craziness._

* * *

**Chapter Twelve:**

My hands were shaking and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep myself up right as I walked into my new doctor's office. After my surprise visit and chat with Rachelle, she had gone above and beyond for me. When I went to work the next day, she informed me of an appointment that she had set me up with. She knew all of the OB/GYNs on the floor thanks to her own daughter's recent pregnancy and recommended my case to one of the top at the hospital.

And she was keeping her mouth shut. I still wasn't entirely sure who knew at work and who didn't. But it was just a matter of time before I learned the answer to that question. I was only concerned with one person knowing and so far, it didn't appear that he was hip to my secret and how it affected his adopted son.

"Ms. Jennings." Roberta Crenshaw was a kind woman with a heart-shaped face and dark brown hair that was always pulled back into a simple bun on the back of her head. She was in her early forties and had an aura about her that just screamed professionalism. She was good at her job and knew it. "I'm Dr. Crenshaw, I understand you're a nurse in our emergency room."

"Yes ma'am." I nodded and smiled politely as I struggled with the stupid hospital gown I'd been forced to put by one of the nurses on this floor. "Rachelle Evans actually set the appointment up for me. She said you did such a great job with her daughter that she figured you would be the perfect doctor for me."

"That's very kind of Rachelle." She smiled and sat down on the low stool positioned between my exam table and her desk of sorts. There were a few pictures and personal knicknacks littering the surface. But other than that, the room was like any other room in the hospital; sterile and immaculate. "Will the father be joining us today?"

"Uh, no." I replied rather shortly then grimaced and hung my head.

To my surprise, Dr. Crenshaw just chuckled and patted my leg. "Mood swings are completely normal, Schae. I imagine you'll be wanting to bite people's heads off without warning for at least a few more months. Are you planning on keeping your condition a secret for much longer?"

I nodded and gulped. "I...don't want anyone to know until I've hit my third month."

"That's right." She sighed and consulted the chart in her lap before looking up at me kindly. "You've suffered a miscarriage before, am I correct?"

I nodded again and blinked rapidly to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks. "Last year."

"I'm assuming the same man has fathered this child?" She questioned casually, with her eyes on the chart again.

"I'm not sure." I admitted honestly and started twisting my hands into painful knots. "That's why I was wanting to see if I could get an exact date of conception. With my move back and my new position downstairs, I've been so stressed that I lost track of my period. It's been a little irregular since my...yeah."

That caused Dr. Crenshaw to stare up at me. She even wheeled her stool over so she could sit right next to me. "It sounds like you've been through a lot, Schae. And I won't lie to you, your name rings some very familiar bells for me. I've been with this hospital for nearly twenty years and, well, you know how co-workers like to share."

It wasn't just co-workers that liked to share, she didn't need to tell me that. But I still felt better about the way she had phrased that. Like the entire town hadn't been talking about the Jennings family once having an almost-permanant residence at Forks Community.

"I was wondering if you'd remember that." I muttered and looked up in surprise when she wheeled away instead of dragged the conversation further into the past. By the time she wheeled in a sonogram machine and had me pull my shirt up, I was really starting to love this woman.

Rachelle had been a Godsend in recommending me to her, even if she had reminded me of my very painful past for the first time since I stepped foot back in Forks.

"Okay." My doctor's voice was still warm as she scanned the wide, vintage-looking screen before her. The screen itself was mostly fuzzy, with a faint little balloon toward the middle of the screen. I blinked in surprise and was practically gaping at her when she hit a button and a new, foreign sound suddenly filled the room.

"What's that?" I asked in a shocked, quieted whisper.

Dr. Crenshaw smiled brightly at me and moved the handle around against my stomach a little more. "That's the baby's heartbeat. Would you like to know how far along you are?"

Tears flooded my eyes and blurred my vision as I nodded quickly. This was the exact piece of information I'd wanted most. My questions had just taken a backseat to this new and startling development. I was actually hearing _my_ baby's heartbeat. And it was so fast! "Is it supposed to be so fast? Is that normal?"

She nodded, hit a couple more buttons then shut the machine off and started to wipe the goo she'd squirted on my belly off with a towel. Still dazed, I could only watch in awe as she moved around then came to sit next to me again on her low stool. As soon as she told me my possible date of conception, I didn't know what to feel or how to react.

Just as my heart felt like it was dropping into my stomach, a weird weight seemed to be pulled off my shoulders.

I had my answer now. There was no room for confusion anymore. The dates were just too far apart for me to have thought there was a possiblity of two potential fathers for my baby.

Which led me to one ultimate and dreaded conclusion. I was going to go have to see him and tell him that he was going to be a father. A conversation I'd narrowly missed so many days before.

I was still in a haze by the time I got outside and in my car, the pictures of my first ultrasound clutched tightly in my hands. I would need these. Both for me and for what I knew I now had to do. Starting the car up, I blinked in surprise when my radio was suddenly blaring at me. Must have been listening to a damn good song when I parked for my doctor's appointment.

My thoughts were trained only on one thing as I navigated through the light traffic on Main Street. Even though it had been dark and I was vaguely drunk when Jasper took me to his apartment, I managed to find my location pretty well. I didn't park until I was sure he was home, spotting the shiny black motorcycle parked in the first line of spaces. With a sigh, I shut off my car then leaned back in the seat.

I needed to get a handle on myself. And I needed to figure out what I was going to say to the man that had gotten me pregnant. How was he going to react to my news? Would he be happy? Would he even believe me and accept what I was telling him? I didn't expect anything from him, and I wanted to make that abundantly clear. I hadn't set out to get pregnant or trap him into something that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted from him. I was still a mess from my last relationship. I hadn't had enough time to let go of everything and not have to worry about possibly dragging that into the next phase of my life.

But as I stepped out of my car and shielded my eyes from the surprisingly sunny July day; I wondered how things were going to be now. If he was the guy he'd claimed to be that day in the parking lot, he wouldn't let me just walk away from him. A real man, a boy that had been raised by someone like Dr. Cullen wouldn't just let the girl he knocked up leave him without any responsibilities. It wasn't how some men operated.

I just hated that I was still too used to the opposite of that. I was used to the ones that didn't care what they did or how it affected those around them. I only knew the type of guy that had no remorse or sympathy for damage as he inflicted it, content in his false sense of security in thinking that the people he was torturing would just stay and take it.

As I reached up to knock on the door, I noticed my hands were shaking. My entire body felt like I'd just been injected with Jello as I stood there waiting, the pictures from my doctor visit shoved into the back pocket of my jeans. The nausea welling up in my stomach wasn't helping either and as I stood waiting, I was almost sure that I would vomit all over the front stoop.

But the moment the door swung open and he appeared, my shakiness and nausea were the absolute last things on my mind. All I could focus on was the intense surprise lighting Jasper's features as he gripped the door with one hand.

I'd caught him doing something athletic, I was almost positive of that. He was dressed in a pair of baggy basketball shorts and running sneakers. No shirt, his blonde curls haphazard and insanely sexy. My thoughts immediately shifted back to the night I'd spent with him and the morning after when I'd given myself a few, brief moments to study him.

I could still remember how his chest rose and fell, the serenity of sleep in his expression. I could still pinpoint the way his hair lay against the pillow under his head, and how he'd had one hand extended toward where I had laid on the bed.

I clenched my eyes shut for a minute and smiled sheepishly as I slowly opened them to stare at him again. Amusement dominated his features next, but was mixed with a curious dose of anger. Automatically, a weird clenching started to form in the pit of my stomach.

"Schae, what're you doing here? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me." He started and let go of the door to cross his arms across his taunt, bare chest. "Did you really need to come over here to make your point clear? I got the message the first two times, I meant it when I said I wouldn't bother you anymore."

"Would you just shut up for a minute?" I blurted out rather unattractively then winced when my nausea returned. With a vengence. "I have something I need to tell you. I'm extremely nervous so could you please put the anger on ice and let me come in before I vomit all over your front porch?"

That got his attention! But something was a little off about his expression. Clearly Dr. Cullen had made his concern for me no secret among his family. But he just nodded and moved aside so I could enter. I did so, timidly, my stomach still churning as I took in my surroundings.

The apartment looked exactly the same as it had the last time I'd been here. The night the baby I was carrying had been conceieved. My stomach clenched again and I looked up at him quickly for the direction of the bathroom. "Um...bathroom? I really wasn't kidding about throwing up outside."

Jasper looked alarmed for about a split second before he lightly grabbed my hand and led me to the designated room. That surprised me a little. Usually guys freaked when it came to stuff like this. But yet here he was, showing me instead of pointing me into the general vicinity.

I just barely made it, landing hard on my knees as my body started to convulse. I felt Jasper's hands at the sides of my throat as I reached back to push hair away, but couldn't really do anything when more of my breakfast came up. He had to be feeling nauseated too, just watching me get violently ill in his bathroom two seconds after showing up. Unannounced.

This wasn't going the way I'd hoped at all.

Slowly, I relaxed and nodded slightly when I started to lean back on my legs. Jasper let go of my hair and ran his fingers over my flushed cheeks before standing up long enough to run water over a white washcloth. He knelt in front of me again and lightly pressed the cool fabric to my overheated face. "Okay, you've definitely got my attention now, Schae."

I half-heartedly glared up at him and sighed in gratitude when he seemed to remember the toilet. Scents were playing crazy games with my senses and I sighed in relief when he slammed the lid down and then flushed.

"Ready to move?" He asked and I looked up at the sound of his voice. How could he sound so concerned and sympathetic to me when moments before, he'd looked like he wanted to kill me?! I didn't get it and my head swam when I tried to figure it out.

Instead, I just focused on moving. Putting one foot in front of the other until we were out in the living room and I was seated on the large, overstuffed couch. The black leather felt cool against the exposed sliver of skin at the small of my back and I sighed again as I slouched into the sofa. "Thank you." I muttered and lifted my eyes to look up at him.

"No problem." He shrugged it off, but the concern and worry didn't quite leave his eyes. I felt sick all over again just watching him stare at me, but not in a violently-ill sort of way. This was more of a cowardly moment that I refused to let myself indulge in twice.

I'd already run scared once. I couldn't do that to him again. Not after the performance I'd just put on for him in the bathroom. "I need to tell you something and I have no idea how to say it."

"Just be blunt." He shrugged again but I noticed him scoot a little closer to me. His fingers slid through mine in a comforting gesture and tears once again began to prick at the back of my eyeballs.

I had to clench my eyes shut for a second as I took several deep breaths. I _had_ to do this. I couldn't let myself chicken out, no matter how desperately I wanted to right then. "You're gonna hate me." I wailed suddenly and mentally kicked my own ass when traitorous tears slid down my cheeks.

"Schae," He sighed and reached up to wipe the fallen moisture away. I jerked in a mixture of surprise that he was actually touching me and the jolt his skin sent straight into my bones. All over again, as if it'd been the first time I ever felt his hands on me. "You're starting to scare me and I'm not going to hate you. What do I _possibly_ have to hate you for?"

I bit down hard on my lower lip and shook my head as I sat up and grudgingly pulled my hand from his. I stood up and reached into my back pocket as I pulled the sonogram pictures out then held them in front of me for him to take. He stared at them for a second then looked up at me in uncertainty. He didn't reach for the pictures and one glance down made me beat myself up mentally all over again. Of course. They were face _down_. Just the glossy white backside was the only thing showing.

Swearing under my breath, I just steeled myself up and stared him directly in the eye. "Let me get all of this out before you say anything, please? What I have to tell you...it's major. So major that I'm scared senseless right now and probably going to end up talking in circles."

"You already are." He announced then got up and lightly grabbed my arms. I was surprised that he didn't sound aggravated or impatient with me. At all. Oy.

If I let myself, I could fall really hard and really fast for this man. Even without the wild hormonal surges having fun with me right then.

"Oh fuck it." I muttered, shoulders slumping as I looked down at his sneakered feet. "These are pictures of my first sonogram. I'm pregnant."

Surprise flickered through his eyes for a brief moment before his face went shockingly blank. I'd kind of been expecting this reaction, but it still stung to be standing there, watching it. "How far along?"

I flinched at his voice, low but filled with suspicion. Couldn't really say that I blamed him for that either. "Nine weeks." I muttered and risked a quick glance up at him.

"Am I the only one you've slept with?" He asked, sounding a little more normal than before. But I could still hear the suspicion clouding his perfect voice.

I gulped uncertainly and nodded slowly before I let go and just launched into the rest of what I wanted, no _needed_ to tell him. "I didn't come here because I expected anything from you. That's not it, Jasper. I also didn't plan on getting pregnant by you or...anyone! I don't want anything from you, I just wanted you to know."

"So what now?" His voice turned cold with that question and his gaze became unforgiving as he folded his arms across his chest again.

Instantly my back went up and I could feel my spine straightening with anger. I strangely didn't fight the violent mood swing overthrowing my body. "That's up to you!" I blurted out and took a step away from him, staring up at him angrily. "I didn't ask for any of this, Jasper. So don't stand there and get mad at me because _you_ forgot to use condoms."

"Oh, so this is _my_ fault now?" He exploded on me, his arms dropping to his sides as his hands tightened into fists against his sides. "Schae, let's not forget that the birth control methods go both ways. You've got just as big a part in this as I do."

"If you even believe that you do!" And that was when I came undone. All the anger, uncertainty, and sadness I'd been feeling for longer than my time back in Forks bubbled to the surface and I was powerless to stop it. "I see the look in your eyes, I'm not stupid. Yes, I'm just as much at fault here as you are. I made the decision to stop taking my birth control when I swore off sex back in Chicago. But guess what? I'm not running away from this, I can't. I'm the one having to deal with the mood swings, the smell sensitivity and wondering if the next meal I eat will stay in my stomach for longer than an hour. My body's changing and I don't need you standing there, acting the way you are, to make me feel even worse than I already do. If you don't want any part of me or this baby then that's fine. I have no problem doing this on my own. I've been alone for a very long time, I've done things on my own terms for that same amount of time. I have no problem continuing to do that."

Realizing what I'd just said, I sighed and shook my head as I flattened my free hand over my forehead. "This was not how I wanted all of this to go!"

"What were you expecting when you came over here, Schae? I'm sorry but you can't just drop a bomb like this on a guy and expect it to go smoothly. This isn't some fairytale or a perfect little dream. This is reality and you can't always control or predict people's actions."

"Didn't I just say that I know this is a reality?" I threw my arms wildly out to my sides and turned away from him immediately when I felt more tears threatening to spill past my eyes. "Forget it." I muttered and glanced back at him as I tossed the pictures still in my hand onto the coffee table behind him. "Those are yours, if you want them."

I started for the door only to jerk back in surprise when Jasper moved and wedged himself between me and the exit. "Schae, wait...."

"For what?" I asked and stared up at him with a weird sense of calm floating through me. "Jasper, I'm not going to stand here and let you look and talk to me like some kind of whore. I've slept with exactly two people in my entire life. The last time I slept with the guy who took my virginity was two weeks before I decided to move back to Forks after I caught him in bed with my best friend. The second person? Well, he's standing right in front of me, looking at me like I'm a disease trying to seep into his life and ruin everything." I sighed then and shook my head slowly as I turned to push past him. "It's up to you whether or not you want to be in this child's life. You don't owe me anything and I don't expect a single thing from you. I'm not telling people until I'm at least three months pregnant. So by my calculations? You have at least a week to decide which way you want to be facing on this."

Taking one last look into pale blue eyes that could see right through me, I started moving and didn't stop until I was outside and in my car with the engine running.


	13. Chapter 13

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen:**

It was amazing how much could change in a week. Even though I was still battling the insane morning sickness that lasted a lot longer than morning, and moodswings from hell, I was actually starting to manage it all pretty well.

I'd even gone back to work and wasn't having to race for the bathroom every five seconds. The only thing left to do was start telling people about my pregnancy. That was going to be the tough part.

Shaking my head slowly to clear my thoughts, I sighed and picked up the chart in front of me. I didn't have time to stand around and daydream about the new direction my life was taking. Nor could I let myself wonder and hope that the next corner I turned, I would see him standing there.

"Hello Mr. Marcus." I smiled brightly at my new patient, holding my breath for a minute so that my nausea didn't react to the scene laid out before me. Dean Marcus had come into the emergency room after a bizarre on-the-job accident. He had a nasty gash across his forehead and his arm was hanging at an odd angle. He needed x-rays, which I wrote down on his chart then set it aside to put on a pair of plastic gloves. I'd have powder on my hands for the rest of the day, but they were a nessessary evil. Checking out his cut, I dabbed away the excess blood with a paper towel then disposed of it as well as my gloves. "I'll send the doctor right in. He's probably going to want to x-ray that arm and then we'll address your head, okay?"

He nodded his consent and looked satated after I handed him another paper towel to hold over his bleeding forehead. Grabbing his chart, I swept past the curtain and sighed again as I made my way back to the nurses station. I could feel Rachelle's eyes on me as I moved and looked up to smile patiently at her.

"You want to say something, so just go ahead."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She gazed up at me with the most innocent expression on her face. I laughed a little, shook my head, then folded my arms over the high counter separating us.

"That isn't going to work on me." I teased, even winking at her to prove that. "I've met you before. I know how you are and I'm actually a little surprised that you're holding out on me."

She smiled, much to my relief but we both looked over when footsteps started getting closer to the station.

My heart squeezed violently in my chest when I noticed Dr. Cullen advancing on us and swore mentally as Rachelle and I exchanged glances. She knew that I was still too chicken to tell the handsome doctor about his grandchild and began to wonder idly if Jasper had confided in his parents yet.

Judging by the look on Dr. Cullen's face, he hadn't. Yet. But it was just a matter of time before he knew.

"Hello ladies." He smiled warmly at both of us then zeroed in on me. "I hear you have a patient that needs my attention?"

"Yes sir." I muttered, cursing myself again for sounding so meek and handed him the file. "Mr. Marcus got hurt at work. He's going to need stitches and probably x-rays on his left arm. It's hanging weirdly."

"Then I shouldn't keep him waiting." Dr. Cullen smiled at both of us then turned and briskly headed for the patient's designated area.

I exhaled the breath I'd unconsciously been holding and slowly turned back around to face Rachelle.

She was staring at me sympathetically and I wanted to cringe from under her intense gaze. But I didn't and surprised myself again by staying put as she came around the desk and hugged me briefly.

"What was that for?" I squeaked out and winced at how stupid I sounded.

She just smiled at me again and lightly rubbed my shoulders. "You just looked like you needed a hug." She whispered to me, her eyes bright with shared understanding. She knew I wasn't ready to have the entire ER know yet and was doing her best to keep my secret for me. As much as it was killing her, she was firm in believing that a person's secrets were their own to share.

"Okay, can I just _say_ how badly my feet hurt?" Elena Roberts, a rather obnoxious fellow nurse suddenly appeared on my other side and draped herself dramatically across the counter. Rachelle and I just exchanged looks then the older woman left to assist one of the other doctors with a combative patient.

"How much longer until your shift ends?" I asked, trying to make it sound like I actually cared. When I didn't. If she wanted to talk about tired, I could definitely teach her a thing or two in that area.

"About ten minutes." She smiled brightly at that then flipped her peroxide-blonde hair over her shoulder as she straightened up. "What about you? You've been here all day, you can't be staying much longer."

"Twelve-hour shift." I shrugged and started to push away from the counter with a sheepish smile. She just rolled her eyes then turned to face me, one hand on her hip while the other still lay draped over the counter.

"I still don't see why you put in so much time. Sheesh, Schae it's like you don't _want_ a social life of any kind."

I just stared at her for a second then slowly began to shake my head. "It's not that. I need the money, Elena. Not everyone comes from a rich family like yours. We can't all afford to be fickle with our hours because we don't all have Mommy and Daddy backing us up in case we don't work enough to make rent."

Whirling around on my heel, I looked up just in time during my getaway to notice a familiar face coming toward me. A face that was looking directly at Elena. I could hear her scrambling to her feet and didn't have to look back to know she was smoothing her hair back or internally doing inventory about how she looked. Rolling my eyes, I just stepped out of Edward Cullen's way as he walked over to Elena and caught her up in a tightly suggestive hug.

Her squeals and weak protests to be put down hit my back as I continued on my rounds. I didn't dare go back to the nurse's station until the ten minutes Elena mentioned being left in her shift had been ticked by.

I just didn't count on walking back over the same time Dr. Cullen settled into one of the nurse's chairs to check out a patient's history in the computer's database.

"Schae." He smiled up at me as I walked around his chair and settled into my designated little corner.

"How's Mr. Marcus?" I asked curiously and swiveled around in my chair to face him, my arms draped over the back of my chair.

Dr. Cullen turned away from his own computer and shrugged as he wearily wiped at his eyes. "His arm's broken in two places, but I got him patched up and sent him on his way. He's to come back if his head gets worse."

I nodded automatically, having expected him to say that. Even though there wasn't any damage to his head, the guy still ran the risk of having some kind of concussion. I assumed that he would just turn back around and resume what he'd been doing before I interrupted him.

Things didn't go that way and I looked up in surprise when Dr. Cullen wheeled his chair over to me and rested his elbows on the table beside my keyboard.

"I've been meaning to check in with you and see how things are. Did everything go all right with your physical?"

I swallowed back the lump forming in my throat and swore mentally when tears once again started to prick the back of my eyes. These hormonal mood swings were going to be the death of me! "Everything's fine." I muttered and looked down at the chart open beside me. I couldn't look up into his eyes, something inside wouldn't let me.

It was supposed to be Jasper's choice whether or not he told his family. I didn't have the strength to tell them so soon after revealing my pregnancy to Jasper.

"You know you can talk to me." Carlisle Cullen's voice sounded soft and fatherly in my ear. I wanted to cry all over again, not being able to remember the last time my own father addressed me with such concern. "About anything. I know we work together but I don't want you to think that you have no one to turn to. I understand you no longer have contact with your parents?"

The lump forming in my throat got even bigger as I shook my head. "My mom left when I was fourteen. And I haven't seen my father since I graduated. I don't know where either of them are and I don't really care." I sounded mad at the end of my sentence and shoved away from my desk a little more roughly than nessessary. I had to get away from this line of conversation. My already-frazzled nerves weren't going to be able to take much more.

Dr. Cullen was surprised as I gathered my belongings and turned to make my rounds once more. It wasn't needed and I'd probably get in trouble for harrassing patients or something. But my body demanded movement, anything to get me away from the fatherly doctor and his poorly concealed sympathy. Of course he would know about my family situation. After all, he'd been one of the first doctors to respond to my brother's case.

Instead of going to check on patients, I turned at the last minute and headed for the bathrooms. If I was going to cry, and think about my brother, then I wanted to do that in privacy. I didn't want anyone to see this moment of weakness, especially the people I had to work with on a daily basis.

So when I saw a familiar figure looming near the bathrooms, I groaned quietly as my head flopped back. How could I forget that my luck didn't run as smoothly as I wished it would?

As I got closer, I recognized Jasper and immediately forgot about my brother and the long crying session I was just about to indulge my body in. He was waiting, rather anxiously judging by the pacing, and preoccupied. I could probably walk right past him and he'd never even know.

So that was exactly what I tried to do. Hugging the lanyard with my hospital ID to my chest, I ducked my head and pivoted toward the ladies' entrance of the bathrooms. I got just as far as the door when a hand reached out and grabbed my arm gently.

Whirling around, I was instantly met with a pair of pained blue eyes. Jasper's blue eyes.

"Schae, we need to talk." He whispered, intentionally keeping his voice from carrying in the hallway.

I swallowed thickly and just tilted my head as I gently extracted my arm from his grasp. "I can't right now, Jasper. I'm at work."

He glanced from me to the bathroom then nodded slowly as his eyes returned to me. "And no doubt needing to lose your lunch."

I laughed humorlessly and shook my head as I swiped the back of my hand over my eyes. "Not this time. I'm having an uncontrollable mood swing right now and wanted to hide out until it passes."

"Then come walk outside with me." He suggested and grabbed my arm again. I started to protest but one look up at his handsomely devestated face and I didn't have it in me to resist. He'd come here to say something very important and the least I could do was hear him out.

He'd done the same thing for me a week before, only angrier than I was planning.

We were both silent as we walked outside and headed for the small courtyard that was set up for patients that wanted a break from their claustraphobic rooms.

"What's up?" I asked, my tone quiet and calm as I stopped and turned slowly to face him. He let go of my arm and I crossed them over my chest, just below my breasts. A weird thrill went through me when I noticed his eyes drop from my face to my chest, no doubt noticing the changes in my cup size.

I hated the thoughts that washed through my head at that moment and turned away from him slightly to recapture his attention. "Stop staring at my breasts, Jasper. Everyone else has been staring enough for the rest of the state of Washington."

He looked intensely guilty and dropped his eyes to the ground, a faint pink color flowing from his neck to coat his cheeks and ears. I'd always found it funny how guys blushed. It wasn't the same way girls did, only their necks and ears gave them away.

On Jasper Hale, blushing looked sexy as hell. Of course that was probably my hormonal rampages but still.

He drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly as he turned and sat down on the edge of the fountain behind him. I could hear the water gently lapping at the pool's barrier and sat down too when he patted the space of concrete beside him. "I came to apologize to you. It was wrong for me to react the way I did."

I just shrugged and shoved my hands in between my knees. The urge to reach out and sweep his hair off his forehead was way too intense for me to ignore. "There's no need to apologize. I understand. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that you'd just accept what I was saying and...."

Now it was_ my_ turn to start blushing. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and turned my face away to hide it.

Jasper was quicker than me though and reached out to crook a finger underneath my chin then guide my eyes back up to meet his. "You know, you're incredibly cute when you blush. I never really noticed before."

I huffed at him and let my expression go blank. But I didn't pull away from him. My mind and body were having issues today. "It's the hormones." I muttered and a chill shot through me when his breathy laugh fanned over my face.

"I can't imagine how all of this is going for you." He sighed then dropped his hand back into his lap. "But can I ask how you hoped I would respond to your news? Maybe if I know the hopes, I can meet them."

My eyes rolled involuntarily in their sockets and I jerked to my feet. "Jasper, don't." I sighed and turned back to face him, my hands shoved deep into my shirt pockets.

"Don't what?" He looked confused as he stood up and towered over me. Damn freakishly tall people! Idly I wondered if our child would be blessed with his height or be stunted like his or her mother.

Banishing those thoughs, I just shook my head again then looked up at him warily. "Don't come here and act all sweet to me. I can't take it. Just please tell me what you came here to tell me so I can get back to work. Your dad's already staring at me weirdly, I don't want to give him and Rachelle a bigger reason to watch me closely."

He chuckled and nodded, his eyes returning to the ground as he scuffed the heel of his cowboy boot against the pavement. "I haven't told my family yet about...you. But my dad does know something's up with you. I heard him mentioning it to my mother when I went over there last weekend for dinner."

That took me by surprise. Blinking in surprise, I let out a low breath and rocked back on my heels carefully. "Okay, wasn't expecting that."

Jasper snickered again but sombered up pretty quickly as he met my gaze then held it. "Schae, I want to be in this child's life. If I hadn't been acting like such an ass the day you told me, I would've been able to say all of this then. But I hate the fact that you think you're having to do all of this alone. You don't. I _want_ to be there for this baby."

"Then be there." I responded quietly and with a surprising calm. Hadn't expected _that_ to happen. But I couldn't ignore the fact that it hurt to hear him leave me out of the equation like he was. Then again, how stupid was I to have expected it?

"Will you tell me when your next appointment is?" He questioned quietly and I was surprised yet again by the sincerity in his voice and eyes. He genuinely wanted to be there. And right then, it didn't matter that he didn't want me. I could've cared less right then that he was only talking to me because he just so happened to knock me up. This wasn't about us. This was about the life we'd created together. Nothing mattered more than our unborn child.

"In two weeks." I admitted and scratched the back of my neck idly. "When are you going to tell your family? I'll...be there, if you want me to be."

"I'd like that." He smiled at me and I thought my heart was going to stop right then and there. "When are you off work next?"

I had to think about that for a second. Thanks to my never-ending fatigue, my days and nights were just blending into each other. "Umm tomorrow." I muttered and looked up at him again as if the answer was written on his forehead. "I'll come by your apartment sometime then and we can just go over together?"

"Sure." Jasper grinned at me again then held out a folded slip of paper. I peered at it curiously then looked up at him, puzzled. He chuckled again then reached his arm out further to slip the paper in my pocket. "That's my cell phone number. I realized when you left the other day that I never gave it to you." He sighed then and my heart jerked painfully in my chest when I saw the guilt riddling his eyes. "Yet another thing I haven't done right when it comes to you."

"Jasper...." Trailing off, I just shook my head and took a step back. Again, I couldn't deal! Not if I was expected to go back inside and continue working. "I'll call you when I'm on my way, all right?" He nodded and I paused for a deep breath before continuing. "Maybe you can give me another ride on your motorcycle. I really enjoyed that."

"You did?" He looked so cute and innocent when he grinned hopefully at me. It made my insides twist in a funny way and I found a small part of me melting right then and there.

"I did." I smiled encouragingly at him and took another step toward the entrance leading back into the ER. "But we'll talk tomorrow, okay? I really have to get back inside."

"Oh, sure." He nodded, looking appeased that I was agreeing to what he suggested. But just as I turned to walk back inside, he lightly grabbed me again and turned me to face him. "But first." His eyes fluttered closed as he leaned toward me and I gasped in surprise when his lips lightly brushed across my forehead. My eyes widened even more in surprise when he straightened up and laid a hand over my stomach.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Jasper smiled at me one more time, his hand lingering on my stomach. Then he turned and walked away as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"This is definitely getting weirder by the second." I muttered, mostly to myself as my own hands flattened over my belly. I wasn't showing yet but the skin stretching across my muscles had definitely softened in preparation.


	14. Chapter 14

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ So sorry for the lack of updates! I've actually had this chapter done for a couple of days, but my birthday was this past weekend and I had no time to post it. Anyway, here it is! Enjoy._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I just own Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen:**

"Bella!" I whined, even cringing in front of my closet in exasperation. I should've already been at Jasper's apartment by now, but yet here I was. Standing in front of my closet, still in my pajamas at a total loss of what to wear.

My adorable roommate appeared instantly and stumbled into the room in her haste. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what to wear." I whimpered again and smiled apologetically when she moved to swat at me. I dodged her neatly then snickered at the look of exasperation on her own features. Two fashion-challenged women staring into an intimidating closet was a pretty amusing sight if I ever saw one!

"Where's Alice Cullen when you need her?" Bella muttered then smiled sheepishly at me when she mentioned one of the Cullen children that no longer called Forks home.

Of course I remembered her. The tiny fashion plate that made me feel hideously plain whenever she walked by. Of course that wasn't taking into account Jasper's intimidatingly gorgeous twin sister, Rosalie. Alice was_ nothing_ in the intimidation department compared to that girl!

"Not here." I muttered then just reached in and blindly pulled a pair of jeans from the dresser in the back of my closet. Once I had those on over my blue and white striped boyshorts, I grabbed a white, fitted button down top and pulled it on over the tank top I'd already selected and put on. The clothes covering my chest were already fitting snug thanks to my expanding midsection and my bigger boobs.

Someone was going to stare. I just knew it. There was no way I was going to be able to hide my new cleavage no matter what I wore. My closet couldn't just automatically acclimate itself to my growing body. No matter how feverishly I wished for it.

"Best I can do." I admitted and slapped my hands lightly against my thighs once I had my shirt buttoned and a pair of black ballerina flats on. I'd already brushed my hair out and was pleased to feel it hanging perfectly straight down my back.

"You look great." She smiled at me then hugged me before pushing me toward the door. "Now grab your crap and go! You were supposed to be there already, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, shooting her the dirtiest look I could as I walked through the living room and gathered what I would need. It was shoved into my purse, a small tan canvas bag that still looked pristine thanks to lack of use and slung it over my shoulder. "I'll see you later!"

"Won't wait up." She teased, grinning at me sweetly as I flipped her off. Wow, more mood swings. I could just imagine having that reaction at the Cullens. Way to win them over!

Jogging to my car, I was grateful to see the sun shining with very few clouds littering the horizon. Maybe I would get to ride Jasper's bike again after all. But as I drove over to his apartment, I didn't really put much stock into it. I was pregnant and no doubt about to start having people treat me like I was made of glass. People always did that when it came to pregnant women. Which infuriated me to no end and had once made me never want to get pregnant. I couldn't really imagine Jasper thinking a ride on his motorcyle would be a good idea for me.

"Careful what you wish for." I muttered and grudgingly climbed out of my beloved Bug. Bag slung once again over my shoulder, I took a deep breath and held it as I knocked on Jasper's door. Here was to hoping for better results.

That hope quickly went out the window when Edward answered the door instead of Jasper. Raising an eyebrow, I shifted uncomfortably when his eyes immediately locked on my breasts. "Is Jasper here?" I asked rather rudely, but breathed a silent sigh of relief when his blonde head appeared instantly behind his brother's coppery head.

I couldn't help the snicker that floated through my throat when Jasper unceremoniously pushed Edward back into the apartment then smiled at me. "Hey, I was starting to wonder what happened to you. Did you lose my number or something?"

This time I swore aloud and grimaced up at him. "I forgot to program your number into my phone. Sorry."

"No worries." He shrugged it off then stepped aside so I could enter. As I timidly crossed the treshold, I noticed the clothes he was wearing for the first time. Jeans and a plain dark blue tee shirt. Okay so clearly this wasn't going to be a formal affair. Good to know.

Making a mental note to stow my annoying shirt in my backseat, I followed him into the apartment and shoved my hands into my pockets when I caught Edward lounging obnoxiously on Jasper's couch. Taking up all the room and leaving me nowhere to sit.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked casually and bodily turned to face Jasper once again.

"Yeah." He nodded, glaring at his brother for a second then turned back to me. "Let me just get my wallet and keys. Is it all right if we all just ride together?"

"Sure." I shrugged slowly and slid my purse from my shoulder to my hand nervously. "Who's car would we be taking?"

"Mine." Edward spoke up instead of his brother and my eyes left Jasper to land on his younger brother.

"I wouldn't be able to get back in time for work, dipshit." Jasper reappeared, rolling his eyes at his brother as he pocketed his keys. "Plus I don't think Schae wants to leave her car here. Not every girl is willing to strand herself at the house."

Heavens bless him for saying it before I could. I just cleared my throat nervously and glanced at either guy. "Umm, if you want, we can just take both cars? I have work tomorrow too so I can just bring you back here before I head home."

Jasper looked over at me in surprise then nodded as a slow smile spread across his features. "Sounds like a plan then." He grinned at me a little more then started to usher us all toward the door.

Outside, Edward went straight for his car. Which left Jasper to ride with me. Oh goodie.

"Sorry for him." He muttered and began walking across the parking lot with me once his front door was locked and his keys were back in his pocket. "Edward isn't exactly known for his tactful personality."

"Or his patience." I muttered and unlocked my door before sliding in behind the wheel. I got his door unlocked then stowed my purse in the back. Jasper climbed in as I began unbuttoning my shirt. I sighed in relief when the fabric gave way around me and pitched the material into the backseat.

When I turned back to face the wheel, I was surprised by the look on Jasper's face. He was doing his best not to openly stare at my chest. I groaned anyway and dropped my head back against my seat.

"Sorry." He rushed out and the tips of his ears tinged pink. I had to snicker at that and shook my head as I straightened up to start my car.

"No need." I shrugged and looked over at him once I had the car out of it's space and pointed toward the direction of the exit. "I haven't really been able to start restocking my closet. I didn't really know how to dress for...something like this either."

"You'll be fine." He smiled at me in assurance then swept a hand through his curly hair. "Esme and Carlisle already know that you're incredibly nervous."

"They do?" I squeaked then winced as I started to drive toward his parents' house. "What did you tell them?"

"That I wanted them to meet you, even though you already know Carlisle through work. They're curious, of course, since I haven't brought a girl home in a long time."

"How long is a 'long time'?" I asked and peeked at him skeptically before turning my eyes to the road. By the time I reached the outskirts of town, I was going on Jasper's directions, terrified that I would miss a turn or something and get us lost.

"I haven't ever...really." He shrugged and reclined easily in his seat. "Edward was always the one bringing girls home out of the three of us. Emmett knew he was in love with Rosalie from the moment they turned fifteen and allowed to start dating her."

"You had an age requirement?" I asked in shock. I'd only heard about parents doing that. Then again, my father stopped parenting when my mom split. I could've come home pregnant then and he would've cared less. Well, maybe. I wasn't ever going to know though.

"Yeah." He chuckled and paused long enough to give me a direction then relaxed again. "Our parents weren't as strict as some of the foster parents I've had, but they did have rules and boundaries. Edward was usually the one to test those."

"I can strangely see that about your brother." I muttered darkly and shook my head slightly. I refused to spend the entire car ride bashing his brother. It wasn't nice, or fair.

The silence lingered as I turned onto a path of gravel completely obscured by trees and wildlife. If I hadn't had Jasper in the car with me, I was sure I would've missed the turn-in onto the Cullens' property. The trees cleared suprisingly quick and opened out into a wide clearing with the most beautiful house I'd ever seen situated in the center.

It was white with a large porch that covered the entire front of the house. It was three stories and just...breathtaking. Shutting the car off, I held my keys in a deathgrip as Jasper climbed out of the car and moved toward the hood. I was frozen, petrified by the beauty in front of me. It was almost intimidating in a way, walking into this world that I knew nothing about.

Jasper had tried to prep me, sure. But still. I was about to walk in this house and tell the owners that I was going to make them grandparents. How did one break that kind of news? Especially when one of those people was my _boss_?

"Schae?" I jerked and looked up guiltily to meet Jasper's eyes. He smiled patiently at me, but shook his head and stood. I frowned a little when my door suddenly opened, but relaxed when he stretched his hand out for me to take. "There's nothing to freak out about."

"Easy for you to say." I muttered, but climbed out of my car anyway. I fell into step beside Jasper easily, leaving my sanctuary behind in favor of the front porch looming ahead.

"I feel like I'm hanging out of this stupid shirt." I muttered and yanked the collar up against my chest. That just caused the hem against my stomach to ride up and I swore mutely.

"You look great." Jasper quickly grabbed both of my hands and affectively stopped my fidgeting. I smiled timidly back at him in response to the relaxed grin on his face, but wanted to kick him when he turned and opened the front door. Waltzing in like he owned the place.

Wait, he used to live here.

Shaking that thought from my head, I just took a deep breath and followed him inside, staying out of the way so he could close the door behind us.

"Mom?" He called, his voice clear and calm as we walked through the spacious first floor. "Dad?" He tried again, but smiled and tugged me behind him a little faster when we went through a doorway and stepped off the foyer landing into the kitchen.

Esme Cullen was even more beautiful than I remembered and I felt guilty all over again. This woman didn't know me from a hole in the wall, but yet here I was. In her house, knocked up by her son.

"Jasper!" She smiled and hugged him tightly, her soft brown eyes reopening when they pulled away and I was jerked up against his side.

"Dude." I hissed and yanked on his arm, but froze when Esme's eyes landed on me. Her hair was still a wavy carmel that I'd envied during my teenage years, but there were lines of gray mixing with the soft strands now. It didn't make her heart-shaped face look any older or more wrinkled. The gray hair just seemed to add an air of sophistication to her that'd never existed before.

"You must be Schae!" She smiled warmly and pulled me in for a quick, tight hug.

I gasped and tentatively wrapped my free arm around her then smiled bashfully when she pushed me back to arm's length. "I am. It's good to see you again, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, please." She waved a hand dismissively then winked at me. "Call me Esme. And my goodness, you've grown into a very lovely young woman! You look so much like your mother."

My chest tightened and my stomach rolled. I'd been doing so good until this point with the nausea, but one simple mention of my mother and all I wanted to do was run for the nearest restroom. How could I have forgotten that she would remember Linda Jennings? They'd been on a lot of committes during my childhood years, which lumped me with Edward and Alice quite a bit.

I couldn't help but wonder if any of them remembered me from that time in their lives. Doubtful. But then again, I hadn't seen Alice Cullen since we graduated in the same class.

"Thank you." I replied quickly, feeling more flustered than normal. If Esme noticed though, she didn't show it. She just turned and walked back over to the stove, checking a few pots then smiled back at us. All at once, the aroma from the cooking food hit me and I had to squeeze Jasper's hand tightly to keep from grimacing or wretching on sight.

That would _not_ be a great impression to leave Esme Cullen with.

He turned half toward me, shielding us for a moment from his mother. "You okay?"

I turned my head just an inch to the left, then to the right. "Food."

I had to give him credit, he caught on pretty quickly. "Excuse us, Mom. We're gonna go see where Dad is."

Esme nodded and smiled at me once again before Jasper gently pulled me from the room. I stared to protest when we reached the hall, but the next thing I knew, I was pushed into a bathroom with the door closing softly behind him.

"Chicken." I muttered and glanced around at the blue-and-white themed room. But any further details were lost on me when my stomach rolled again. Jasper flicked the sink on and pulled my hair back right as I heaved that first time.

It took me several minutes to settle my stomach back down to where I could lean back and gasp for breath. I felt movement behind me and sighed gratefully when he pulled me to lean back against him. The toilet was flushed and the sink turned off in swift, unseen motions then I just relaxed. "This is seriously getting irritating."

I felt his chest vibrate against my back with silent laughter and climbed to my feet instead of smacking him. Hard. Pregnancy was so much easier on guys than it was the women. Jerks. He could at least pretend to be sympathetic to the mutiny playing out in my own body.

"Ready to go find my dad?" He asked once we were both on our feet and out in the hall again. Blowing out a low breath, I just nodded and gestured in front of me.

"Okay, but can we please tell them soon? That way I can just make a run for it the next time I gotta heave? I don't want to insult her and make her think she's a crappy cook."

Jasper just laughed, again, then swore under his breath when my foot accidentally came out and tangled with his. Whoops! Regaining his balance, he just turned to eye me suspiciously.

"Leg spasm." I shrugged innocently and pointed my palms toward the ceiling as I flattened my hands beside my shoulders. "Couldn't be helped."

"Mhm." He muttered but the stern look on his face quickly caved into a smile as he grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's go before I give you another reason to violently attack me."


	15. Chapter 15

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Sorry for being so slow in posting chapters now. There's something wrong with my computer and I've honestly had to rewrite chapters at least twice per day. But! It's finally working now, this one's done. So here it is. Enjoy. And don't forget; reviews = snippets. Either of a scene not added into the story or a preview of the next chapter._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just in charge of Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Just an hour and half after I entered the Cullens' home, I was seated at their dining room table for dinner. Carlisle and Esme sat directly across from each other at the round, very expensive-looking table with Edward on one side. Jasper and I took the other side of their parents and I was pretty sure it'd been planned that way by Jasper. We were closer to the exit leading out into the hall.

Convienent since I felt like I was about to throw up all over myself.

"So how are you liking the hospital, Schae?" Carlisle addressed me directly, a relaxed smile on his face as he took a sip from the glass of wine in front of him.

"I really like it." I smiled tentatively then quickly glanced down at my own plate of food. Thanks to Bella, I'd finally readjusted to home-cooked food and the hot mound of lasagna was playing heavenly with my senses. Something I was immensely grateful for.

"I bet you don't have a lot of time for home-cooked meals." Esme injected, smiling as only a mother could. She ate a bite then promptly washed it down with a sip from her own wine glass. Idly I began to wonder if anyone realized that I hadn't touched the glass that'd been deposited in front of me. By Edward no less.

"Not really." I muttered then grabbed my napkin to cover my mouth. I was almost half-expecting to be slapped upside the head for talking with my mouth full. But the smile on Mrs. Cullen's face didn't alter any as I looked up at her and slid the crisp linen napkin back into my lap. "At least until I came back home, that is. Bella does about 90% of the cooking at our place."

"That's right." The smile that lit Esme Cullen's features was near blinding and she momentarily forgot all about her food as she leaned closer toward me. "You're living with Chief Swan's daughter, right?"

I bobbed my head in consent to give me time to swallow the bite I'd just taken and wiped my mouth before saying anything. "I am."

"How did you two end up living together?" Carlisle took up the line of questioning next and I found myself starting to relax a little. Just a _little_ though since the puddle of nausea was still rippling in my stomach.

"She was my best friend back in high school." I started, not daring to look at either of the boys. My eyes stayed directly on Carlisle as I answered his question. "When I decided to come back and accept the nursing position at the hospital, I answered an ad for a roommate. Turns out, the person looking was Bella."

"Bet she hasn't changed a bit since high school." Edward muttered with a mocking twist to his lips. His eyes were down on his food and when I looked over at him, I felt myself glaring.

Edward Cullen was the one that hadn't changed a bit since high school, not my roommate.

"How would you know?" I asked before I could really stop myself. Ignoring the sudden pressure of Jasper's hand on my thigh, I went on. "You never really bothered to get to know her back then. You never got to know either of us, really. We were beneath you, remember?"

I heard the collective gasps that surrounded me, but was surprised to not hear Jasper. He remained perfectly still beside me, his hand still gripping my thigh to try and silence me. Too bad that was a losing battle. I didn't like anyone talking about people that I cared about. And really, all I had now was Bella. She'd quickly become my rock of sorts since I came back. I only had her to completely depend on and I wasn't about to sit here and listen to anything negative being said about her.

"I'm sorry." I replied quietly, but not sadly. I wasn't going to take what I'd just said back. Edward deserved it and I could tell that I'd caught him by surprise. He was staring at me with wide eyes and flared nostrils. Whoops.

Oh well, he deserved it.

"She does have a point, Edward." Esme finally spoke, confounding me so much that my head whirled around to make sure I was hearing things right. Huh, hadn't been expecting that!

"Mom!" He rounded on her in horror, looking rather comical to me. But I stayed perfectly still and silent, a little grateful when Jasper's grip on my leg loosened ever so slightly.

"You didn't." She shot back, not losing her cool one bit. She was still the picture of elegance that I'd always seen in my childhood, but now there was an air of defiance around her. She was silently daring her son to try and prove her wrong, knowing that he wouldn't be able to. "Bella Swan has always been a perfectly nice and beautiful young lady. Schae is her best friend, it's no wonder she feels the need to defend her after your comment. And honestly, I'm surprised you would be so disrespectful."

Edward opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and shook his head, lips snapping together and rippled tension into his jaw. I glanced over at him then refocused on my plate.

This was the _one_ thing I hadn't been wanting to do while in their home. I was a guest, after all. I didn't want this family to think negatively about me in any way. But the past just couldn't be erased. I was convinced of that now where Edward Cullen was concerned. He was still stuck in the old days, days where Bella and I had been percieved as horribly plain and not worth anyone's time and concerted effort.

Carlisle cleared his throat after a moment or two of silence and gazed at his fair-haired son. "When you called yesterday, you hinted at bringing Schae over for a particular reason. To what do we owe the rare treat of her presence?"

I blushed on sheer reflex alone and looked back down at the table. Jasper squeezed my thigh discreetly again before I felt the tension pull at his muscles. He was steeling himself up to tell his parents that he'd gotten me pregnant. That he wanted me to connect with them because we had created a life together.

All over again, I felt insanely sick. My vision swam as panic gripped me. How were they going to take this? Especially after my little outburst. I wasn't making the best of impressions here and I had to work with Dr. Cullen. I had to see him every day we were scheduled for the same shifts.

I realized a little too late that I felt more than a little overwhelmed. It was all happening way too fast for me and I found myself suddenly unable to cope.

So instead of waiting for Jasper to address his father, ease them into accepting our news, I did the first thing that came to mind. I just blurted out the truth as simply as I could. "I'm pregnant. By Jasper."

Everything froze around me for about sixty seconds then chaos ensued. Esme looked like she was about ready to faint, Edward was gaping openly at his brother, and Carlisle had his forehead against his raised hand.

This was _exactly_ what I'd been afraid of. I hated seeing the look on the faces of Jasper's parents. I was used to disappointing my own parents, I'd done that enough since the age of thirteen. But I hated doing that to people who barely knew me, but already held a pretty important role in my life.

"Edward, please excuse us." Carlisle's voice was quiet but demanding. Edward seemed to know better than to argue, he just picked up his plate, climbed to his feet then left the room.

Once we heard the clank of his dish in the sink from the kitchen, my shoulders slumped as I prepared for the wrath about to be unleashed.

"Is this why you've been feeling bad?"

I jerked in response to Carlisle's voice and nodded solemnly. "And why you were so set on me having my physical performed before it was time."

He nodded slowly and looked up to meet his wife's eyes briefly before pushing his chair back from the table. "I think we should take this conversation to the living room, where we can be more comfortable."

I complied wordlessly and climbed to my feet. As soon as I was upright, a large wave of vertigo whapped me in the face and I nearly crumpled back into my chair. Jasper was quick though, I had to give him credit for that. He caught me before I could hurt myself and eased me back upright.

"Bathroom?" He asked quietly, even though we no longer had to conceal my condition. I just nodded and pushed away from him, my heart wrenching when I caught Esme's expression as I nearly ran from the room.

Once I had a locked door between me and the rest of the Cullen family, I lost it. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I dropped to my knees instantly. I hated this part of it, especially considering the fact that Esme was a _damn good_ cook. But I got sick anyway, my body vibrating with silenced sobs and heaves. I honestly had no idea why I was losing it the way I was. I'd been preparing myself for this. I knew that no self-respecting set of parents were going to be okay with their son bringing home a girl they barely knew, only to find out she was pregnant.

I leaned my forehead against my folded arms over the open toilet bowl and sighed as my body began to calm down. Tears were still falling freely down my cheeks, but I'd at least gained some semblence of control over my shaking limbs.

How was I going to make it through this? I was only ten weeks in and already I was losing it! I had no idea how the future was going to turn out, I didn't know where I stood with the father of my child. Hell, I didn't even _know_ the father of my child! Obviously I'd pegged him wrong back in high school, but that didn't make things any easier to contend with.

Safe to say, I was in way over my head here.

Once I was sure that I was going to be as okay as could be, I flushed the toilet then washed my face. There was mouthwash on the sink and I took a quick swig. I'd just spit it out in the sink when a soft knock sounded on the door. Jumping in surprise, I just leaned back and popped the lock to let whoever it was in.

I turned back to the mirror then froze when I saw Esme standing directly behind me, her face a grim mask of anxiety.

Oh _hell._

"I just wanted to come see if you were all right." Her voice was soft as she walked into the bathroom then shut the door behind her.

"I'm okay." I promised quietly, hating how soft my voice was. I suddenly felt like a child about to be reprimanded for doing something nearly unforgivable. "I'm _so_ sorry." I rushed out quickly and whirled around to face her.

The expression I'd seen in the mirror crumbled at once and there were actually tears in her eyes as she reached out and pulled me into a tight hug. Because I hadn't been expecting it, I was a little late in hugging her back. "There's no need to apologize, sweetheart."

I nodded against her shoulder and worked with her when she pulled away to look at me, keeping her hands on my shoulders as she stared at me with a weird mixture of compassion and unease. "But I feel like I need to. I promise I didn't plan this. I never expected any of it."

"I know." She sighed and lightly rubbed one shoulder before she turned and eased herself onto the toilet once she'd set the top lid down. "I can't say I'm surprised to have one of my sons coming home with a pregnant girl, but I never figured it would be Jasper."

I wasn't sure if she was intending to or not, but a wild ball of guilt swelled in my stomach. I swallowed thickly and just nodded as I rested my hip against the counter, fiddling with my fingers.

She sighed again and looked at the wall stretching out beside the door as her hands moved slowly over the thighs of her expensive-looking pants. "I know it's going to be horrible of me to say, but I always assumed it would be Edward. We tried to do right by him, we really did. I honestly don't know where or how he strayed from the boy I gave birth to."

I nodded again, feeling a little more guilty with every single word that passed her lips. She seemed to notice me not saying anything and quickly waved both hands as she stood. "Oh!" She flushed then smiled sadly at me. "I don't mean to make you feel worse than you probably already do, Schae. I'm just in shock. I honestly assumed he was bringing you over here to announce that he'd finally found someone to be serious about. That boy's never been as interested in girls as his brothers were."

"I remember." I muttered and glanced up at her before my eyes fell back to my hands.

"They really were pretty horrible to you and Ms. Swan." She sighed and I looked up in shock. How could she have _known_ that?! I didn't talk about my school life with anyone, not even back then! I simply endured in silence, counting down the days until graduation so I could leave and create a whole new person. A girl that didn't have as tragic of a past as I had.

"It's in the past now." I shrugged unevenly then straightened back up when Esme moved toward the door.

"It is." She nodded, but the sorrow didn't fade from her pale green eyes as she looked back at me. Wordlessly, she just opened the door and led me out into the hall. From there, we walked down to the living room and my heart lurched when I saw Carlisle and Jasper sitting tensely. Jasper was on the couch, Carlisle parked in a chair adjacent to the pristine white couch.

Esme settled into the chair on the other side of the couch, which meant I was supposed to sit next to Jasper. I did so without a word, smiled sheepishly at him as I eased myself into a sitting position. Self-consciously, I began to pick at the collar of my tank top while keeping a hand firm on the bottom hem.

"How far along are you?" Carlisle asked me directly.

I looked up and sighed as I pushed a shoulder up from my body. "Ten weeks, almost eleven."

"What are your plans now? Do you want to keep the baby?"

In spite of my best efforts, I glanced over at Jasper. He was immobile beside me, with his eyes cast down on his knees. But I could tell he was holding his breath, perhaps waiting for to learn everything he hadn't asked me himself. So I squared my shoulders and tilted my head back to his father, my boss in some ways.

"I'm keeping the baby." I responded evenly, proud of myself for how calm I sounded when I felt anything but. "And as I've told Jasper, I don't expect anything from him. Or you guys. I have no problem going through with this on my own."

I felt Jasper's eyes lock on me as soon as I said that. Probably shouldn't have but there was no real way I could take the words back now.

"But you have no family." Esme nearly gasped and I risked a glance at her to see horror overtaking her features. "Schae, you need people to depend on while you go through this."

"I know." I nodded at her and kept my gaze on her, instead of returning it to the doctor who looked more like a disappointed father than anything else. "But I refuse to make Jasper's decision for him. Or your decision for that matter. I'd love to have you all in this child's life, but I'm not going to burden myself on anyone. I can't, I wasn't raised that way. I don't want anyone to look at this baby and decide that he or she is ruining someone's life."

"Jasper." Carlisle sighed and we all looked over to see his reaction. My heart broke when I saw the look on his face. He was out of his element here. There wasn't a single trace of the confidence I was used to seeing. He was such a laid-back person now that I honestly wondered if anything would phase him. I'd been wrong though, not that I'd counted on an encounter like this.

He looked very much like a scared little boy as he straightened up to address his adopted father. A boy trying to play the role of a responsible man. That was the only way I could describe what I was seeing.

"What are you planning to do for Schae? Are you going to be there for her and this child?"

My stomach lurched and I instantly wanted to start screaming. Not at someone specifically. I just wanted to unleash my sudden anger through words in hopes of dispelling what was happening. We weren't _kids_, for crying out loud! We were adults, two consenting adults that threw caution to the wind and now had to deal with the consequences.

"I'm not going anywhere." He stated simply. A new fierce determination filled his eyes as he looked over at me and reached out to lightly grab my hand. I wasn't entirely sure which shocked me more; the fact that he was trying to stand up to his father, or the fact that he was displaying such an outward display of affection toward me. In front of them. I assumed that would be all he had to say on the subject, a clear and concise answer to his adopted father's loaded question. But I was wrong! So very, very wrong.

"We didn't plan this, no." He sighed and held my gaze for a minute before he tilted his head back to face Carlisle. "But I can't just walk away from Schae or this baby. You know how I've always felt about not being able to know my birth parents and I'm not going to give this kid that same kind of issues. He or she didn't ask to be created this way, but they're here. So no, I'm not going to let Schae do this alone. I'm with her a hundred percent."

Then, just like that, all the anxiety and worry I'd held inside since we walked through the front door was gone. Replaced with a state of shell shock as Esme lept to her feet and swept me up in yet another hug. This time, as I looked over her shoulder; I saw Carlisle get up and hug his son.

There was a part of me that wanted to believe this was all going to be okay. That Jasper and I would somehow find a way to come together and not totally screw this kid up. But that part was very small, nearly lost in the sea of doubt and uncertainty in my abilities.

After all, what did I know about keeping a family together?


	16. Chapter 16

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I'm officially back and have so many goodies for you lovelies! Two new chapters, hope y'all like them. I actually had chapter sixteen done before I went on hiatus, but too much time spent thinking caused me to scrap what I'd written on the chapter and...well, this is what turned up. Enjoy and remember that reviewing = little sneak-peeks/alternate POV scenes._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking responsibility for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen:**

I had absolutely no idea what to say as I slowly walked across the Cullens' front door to my car. All the energy I'd had before, the freak washes of adrenaline were now gone. Kaput. Used up from all the battles with Jasper's parents.

"I'm sorry." He sighed, finally speaking directly to me for the first time in over an hour. We were at my car now with my hand hovering over the handle of my door.

I was brought up short by his apology. The last person in the world that had any reason to apologize was standing right in front of me. "Why're you apologizing?" I asked dumbly and stared up at him like he was trying to grow a second head out of his body.

The laugh that passed his lips was completely involuntary as he shook his head slowly then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I didn't know they were going to be that bad. You didn't deserve any of it."

I just shrugged causally and gently bumped my shoulder into his. Jasper really surprised me then by loosely wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Sweetie, I didn't think it was going to be a bed of roses. We just went in there and told them that, not only do we barely know each other, but that we're having a baby because of a drunken one-night-stand. Parents don't really take too kindly to that sorta news."

Jasper's eyebrows pulled together a little in the center, but smoothed out a little as he began to lightly rub my shoulder. "Well do you think your parents would have taken the news any better?"

It was a simple question. I knew that he didn't mean anything negative about it. But he still had me struggling a little to get away from him. "My parents haven't given a damn about anything I did since the age of thirteen. I'm pretty sure my dad was surprised that I didn't come home pregnant while I was still in high school."

Jasper sighed and hung his head, letting me go before he returned his hand to his pocket. "I'm sorry."

"Don't." I warned and waved my hand slightly. "Don't apologize, okay? I'm just overly sensitive and being knocked up doesn't really help that."

"No." He frowned stubbornly and trudged on, lightly pulling my wrist to propel me closer to him. In my surprise, I let him move me. Leaning back against the driver's door, he lightly gripped my hips and pulled me to stand between his feet. "I remember a thing or two about high school, Schae. I remembered as soon as I heard your name for the first time. We were pretty damn horrible to you back then, my brother especially."

I did the only thing I could do, shrug and look away. "It was a tough time for everyone. That's what high school is, right?"

"But we didn't have to make things even more difficult for you." He reasoned and tried his best to catch my eyes. Finally, his hands moved from my hips to cup my cheeks gently. I was effectively immobile in front of him now. "I especially should have been kinder to you. Your brother really looked out for me when I first came to live with the Cullens."

That entire statement brought me up short. But then again, I should've remembered that little piece of history. How could I've forgotten?! Jasper Hale moving to the rainy town of Forks was big news back then. And my brother, my loving and overprotective bubba had been right there to welcome the new kid. Edward hadn't really been all that helpful when his parents decided to expand their family to include Jasper and Rosalie Hale. In fact, that was when he'd turned into the surly, womanizer that I graduated with. But Colin had been there, ready and on hand to help the new siblings out. I could still remember my brother coming home from school one day and going on and on about the Hale twins to our mom. She'd just smiled kindly at him and listened to every single thing he had to say. And like any mom, she had a certain grin on her face that grew a little more each time Colin mentioned the female Hale. My brother'd had a pretty insane crush on Rosalie when she first moved to Forks.

They'd actually gone out for about a week before Rosalie met the love of her life, fellow adoptee Emmett McCarty. It had surprised me how easily my brother let go of the blonde beauty. They'd been really good together; albiet a little high-maintenence for my laid-back brother. But their courtship had spawned a pretty good friendship with Jasper.

One I'd completely forgotten about until now.

A wild surge of anger washed through me and I unceremoniously jerked myself away from him. Somehow the rememberance of his friendship with Colin just made my time in high school that much more difficult.

"Schae." Jasper started, but quickly shut up. Whatever he saw in my expression clearly told him that staying silent was the best option right then. "I'm sorry."

"I told you to stop." I muttered and looked up at him finally. It hurt to feel the way I did all of a sudden. I didn't feel like the woman I'd grown to become, the identity I'd worked so hard to cultivate and hold onto while in Chicago. I didn't feel any of that. Right then I felt like the teenager that had been reduced to tears by Jasper Hale, Edward Cullen and their pretentious group of friends. The memories I'd worked so hard to keep under lock and key rushed back in tidal waves, dragging me under the surface of reality until I couldn't entirely think straight.

"He used to come home and say the best things about you." I whispered, surprisingly myself. I'd fully planned on getting him away from my car so I could go home and hide. Instead, I stayed rooted in my spot; staring helplessly up at him while words just spilled past my cheeks. "He told you things that he didn't tell anyone, except me. He was my best friend and the only person in the world I could depend on. He made pacts with all of his friends that they would watch out for me when I got to high school. I wasn't as outgoing and popular as he was. My parents even used to worry about it and how it would affect the rest of my school life. And you all promised, each and every one of you swore that you would look out for me if he wasn't there to look out for me himself."

Jasper's expression grew even more heartbreaking as my throat clenched, effectively cutting off whatever else I was about to say. But the next set of words began to burn on my tongue. Like someone had just made me take a healthy swallow of battery acid and now had to convince me to swallow. I couldn't. The words weren't going to just fade onto my taste buds.

"Your brother treated you horribly when you were first adopted and I actually felt sorry for you. Whenever Colin would come home and tell me how badly you were being treated for being new. But he fixed all of that. His friends became yours and what did you all do when he needed you the most? You forgot all about the promise you made him. You completely disreguarded it just because he wasn't here to enforce it anymore. So instead of honoring him and the fact that he would've done _anything_ for you, you turned around and made his baby sister's life a living hell."

"I sometimes wonder which would've been worse." Jasper spoke so softly that I had to strain my ears to make sure he was actually saying something. One glance up into his eyes confirmed he was, and that the words passing his lips were going to hurt me just as much as they were hurting him to say. My first instinct was to clap my hands across my ears, to stubbornly and childishly proclaim that I wasn't going to listen. But I couldn't do that. I was still impossibly frozen in front of him. "I can say that I didn't do anything to you, that I never said a mean word or hurt you in any way. But that would just be lies. I think I did something much worse than join in as everyone verbally harrassed and tortured you."

I found myself nodding in spite of myself. He was telling the truth. It probably would've stung a hell of a lot less to have him join in with his friends than what he actually did. "I'd of preferred it." I muttered and finally succeeded in moving. Jasper scooted away from the door handle, hands still lodged deep in his pockets. Flinging the door open, I positioned one foot inside and looked over him shoulder to stare into his impossibly pale eyes. "I would've been a lot happier if you were giving them new material than just standing there, not saying or doing a damn thing as they reduced me to tears each and every single day at school."

With a weird urge nagging at me, causing my stomach muscles to clench and tighten; I climbed the rest of the way into my car and took off.

* * *

I had fifteen minutes until I was supposed to be at work and I hadn't even been able to leave my car yet. I hated the idea of being late for my shift, but my mind and body weren't really syncing up together the way they were supposed to be. My energy was gone and the morning sickness was even more unbearable than normal.

Add unusually painful cramps to that, along with an arguement I couldn't get out of my head; I really wanted to still be hidden underneath a mound of blankets than walking into Forks Community Hospital. But I was scheduled to work today and it wasn't in me to call in sick. I had too my training from my father and brother to let something like that happen.

The smile on my face felt forced and provided even more proof as to how I felt as I passed through the sliding glass doors and headed for the nursing station. My purse was stowed, phone set to silent, with my ID and stetascope secured. But the cramping wasn't exactly getting any easier to handle.

"You feeling okay?" I stopped short and looked up guiltily when Elena came up to me. _She_ was asking me a personal question?!

"Sure." I shrugged unevenly with a small nod, but when I saw her eyes go from my face to my midsection, my heart fell down into my shoes. I should've known! She was dating Edward now. Edward knew about my delicate condition and had obviously told his new girlfriend. That meant by the end of the day, _everyone _was going to know.

"Elena." I started, waiting until she was just about to walk away before I caught up with her. She looked surprised as she turned back to face me and even let me lead her away from the tall box of desks. "I know we're not exactly friendly, but I need a favor."

"Depends on the favor." She replied, just as I knew she would, and her expression turned skeptical.

Sighing, I mentally shook my head and decided to try anyway. "I know that you're dating Edward, and that a pretty big bombshell was dropped on his family a few days ago."

"About Jasper knocking you up?" Elena was tactful enough have dropped her voice a few decipals when she asked that then nodded. "Yeah, he told me. Why?"

"I'm not accusing or anything, okay?" I sighed then just mentally plowed ahead. If she didn't do as I asked, then at least I could say I tried. "I don't want the entire hospital knowing my personal business. Can you please not say anything? I'm not ready for everyone to know yet."

Elena stared at me for what felt like an eternity, as if she was trying to decide whether or not to honor my request. I hadn't exactly been lying when I acknoweldged that we weren't exactly close.

"Please?" I tried again, even closing my eyes in preparation for her to laugh in my face and run off. I strangely felt like I was back in high school all over again, asking the bully of the day to give it a rest. I just wasn't trying to conceal this kind of dirt back then. I had other demons to worry about. "I'd keep this secret for you if the roles were reversed."

I must've said something that hit a nerve with Elena. One minute she was staring at me like she wanted nothing more to spill my secret to the entire hospital and the next...she was staring at me with sympathy. Like somehow, we suddenly had something in common other than our ties to the Cullen family. I'd of much rather preferred her stance right then to mine. She wasn't 'ruining' one of their lives.

"Okay." She sighed and nodded after a few more minutes of silence. "I'll keep your secret, Schae. But you owe me!"

"Course." I shrugged then surprised myself and her at the same time. Before I could stop myself, I lurched forward and hugged her.

"Schae!" Elena huffed and started to push me away about the same time I stepped back. "Now you_ really_ owe me."

"Sure." I grinned secretively at her, honestly having no damn idea what was up with me and my new mood swing. Then again, I _was_ eleven weeks pregnant. "Hormones." I muttered as an after-thought, shot her a guilty look then turned to go start my rounds.

Rachelle was still scheduling me for pretty long shifts, which I didn't mind when it came time for paychecks and a boost in my bank account. I had a baby on the way, wasn't entirely sure what kind of financial support I would get now that I'd blown another gasket at my child's father, so I needed all the money I could get my hands on. I was bound and determined to do things my way, with as little outside help as possible. I was just glad that my insurance through my job was good enough that I would never have to worry about medical bills. Well, I wouldn't have to worry a whole lot. There were still co-pays and whatnot.

As my shift wore on, I expected to start feeling better. But the more time I spent on my feet, smiling and tending to patients, the worse I began to feel. The cramps swimming around in my abdomen weren't going away, if anything they were worse now. The pain wasn't just flaring up where my unborn baby lay growing, but they were traveling down into my legs. It scared me everytime I had to stop and kneel against the wall while the pain dissipated.

To make matters worse, the nausea I was constantly living with now had upgraded to include random dizzy spells. My concentration was now shot and I was starting to get attention from some unwanted parties.

By the time I reached the nurse's station to get ready to clock out, I felt like I was broiling in my own skin. I wanted nothing more than to go home and just lay down. Maybe that would make me feel better. At this point, I was ready to start trying anything.

"See you tomorrow." I muttered, smiling weakly at my replacement and leaned in to grab my purse. As soon as my fingers curled around the tan canvas strap, the one thing I _didn't _want to have happen did. My knees gave out and a nasty cramp tore through my abdomen right as my head smacked against the cold metal of our lockers.

"Ow." I muttered and tried to raise my eyebrows in surprise when I heard several people call my name. Opening my mouth to say something, I just saw a flurry of hospital-required shoes as I slumped to the floor. My head bounced off the linoleum that time then everything around me went black.


	17. Chapter 17

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking responsibility for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen:**

I'd only ever fainted one time before and that was something I would never be able to forget. I'd been at school the day I completely fell out in the hallway, right in front of my first period English class. It was a day that was forever going to be seared into my brain, but it was something I tried to forget about as often as possible.

That was the day I'd learned that Colin had unexpectedly died during the night. My parents, trying to keep things as normal as possible for me, had made me stay at home that night then go to school the next morning. Even though I'd protested with my dad, who had stayed with me during the night, begging to let me go with him back to the hospital, I'd lost. In the end, I'd had just enough time to get my books for my first class before I was yanked out of school and being taken to the hospital.

Moaning weakly when those memories were suddenly traded for some much more recent, I forced my eyes open then tensed instantly at the change of scenery. I was no longer wearing my dark blue hospital scrubs and shiny white shoes, standing at the nurse's station in the ER. My hair was loose around my head, instead of the standard ponytail I had during my shifts and my body was covered in a papery gown with heavy blankets drawn up to my waist.

A hospital gown. But that wasn't the worst shock to my system. That came in the form of a very worried Jasper Hale, sitting stoically at my bedside with my IV-taped hand resting lightly in his.

Almost as if I'd called him by name, he looked up and breathed a loud sigh of relief when our eyes met. "Schae."

My name had never sounded as beautiful, or painful as it did passing his lips. I shivered involuntarily but continued to look at him weirdly as he stood and leaned his upper body over me. My eyelids fluttered closed when his lips brushed my forehead, but opened again when he shifted once more. "What happened?"

"You fainted." Jasper answered quietly, solemnly as he sat back down. "It was sheer luck one of the other nurses was in there with you. She just couldn't catch you in time."

I nodded slowly and closed my eyes as the scene replayed itself behind my closed lids. I remembered reaching for my purse then somehow losing my balance. Someone, presumably the nurse he'd just mentioned calling my name, then everything went black. "Why'd I faint?" I asked again, sounding as tired as I felt.

"Not sure yet." He replied uncertainly then looked down at our hands. "Dad's talking to your doctor now, they ran a few tests on you while you were out."

I nodded again but panic seized me so suddenly that I jerked upright in bed with my free hand flattened against my slightly-rounded belly.

"Schae, lay back down." Jasper commanded quietly, but I could see the same panic in his own eyes. Still, I let him push me back down and his hand covered mine within seconds of leaving my shoulder. "As far as I know, the baby's fine. Dr. Crenshaw just thinks you've been overworking yourself."

"Great." I muttered and looked up at the ceiling as tears began to prick the back of my eyeballs. But before either one of us could say anymore, Dr. Crenshaw walked into the room, followed closely by the grandfather-to-be, Dr. Cullen.

"I'm very glad to see you awake." Roberta smiled warmly at me and stood at the foot of my bed. Carlisle eased the rest of the way into the room and stopped behind his son. My guard went up instantly when he gripped his son's shoulder. "How're you feeling?"

"Like someone's replaced my insides with jelly." I muttered and tilted my head toward my shoulder. "How much morphine did you give me, anyway?"

"I just had to sedate you enough to put a stop to your cramps." She replied and patted my hand. I didn't have to look over to see Jasper jerk his head up sharply at the mention of cramping. "But I do need to speak with both of you about a few things."

I nodded and looked over, expecting to see Carlisle prepare to leave. But he stayed rooted in place, his eyes fixed grimly on my face. "I have a few things I need to say as well."

Great, the adults needed to talk to the children about not being able to play well with each other. I half-expected one of them to suddenly tell me to stop throwing mud at Jasper.

"You came very close to miscarrying, Schae." Dr. Crenshaw started and my entire world shook. I could feel my eyes rounding to the size of quarters, but I couldn't bring myself to look over and see Jasper's reaction. There was no point anyway, the doc had more she wanted to say. "I've taken a look at your schedule in the ER and decided that you need a drastic decrease in hours. You can't be on your feet as much as you have been before. I hope you aren't forgetting that you're pregnant now, Schae. Some of the habits you had before just aren't going to fly now. You can't just think of yourself anymore. You have a tiny life growing inside you. You don't want to lose that baby, do you?"

"Of course not." I whispered fiercely, every single cell in my body pouring into my response. "And I haven't been working _that_ much. Besides, Rachelle makes the schedule and I'm not ready for the entire hospital to know I'm pregnant."

"Well if you want to _stay _pregnant, then you need to change your attitude on some things." Dr. Crenshaw replied evenly, thankfully not staring at me like my mother would whenever she caught me doing something horrific. "You're already showing and besides, there's nothing wrong with your condition. You have nothing to be ashamed about."

"I don't?" I blurted out suddenly, momentarily forgotting that I wasn't alone with my doctor. "I'm sorry but this hasn't exactly been easy for me to swallow, okay? I left my entire life behind in Chicago. After I found the guy I thought I was going to marry in bed with my best friend. Not only did I think coming back here would be a good idea, but now I'm pregnant by a guy that probably wants nothing to do with me. A guy that's gone from tormenting me in high school to suddenly finding me attractive and wanting me around. I have an entire family probably staring at me like I'm ruining his life and I don't have a single person to depend on. I have no idea where either of my parents are, not like they've been there for me anyway. I came home expecting one thing and have recieved the exact opposite at every single turn. I'm doing the best I can here, okay? I can't forget that I'm pregnant, I _promise_ you that. It's in every single damn thought I have and everything I'm doing is for this child. The hours I'm working here, everything. I think I'm doing pretty damn well for everything changing so quickly."

Dr. Crenshaw sighed but didn't say anything. Instead she just looked over at Dr. Cullen and my head fell back with a tiny groan. I'd just had a complete melt-down in front of my baby's father and grandfather. Not my most shining of moments but right then, I didn't really care. After all, _I _was the one laying in the hospital bed. _I_ was the one that would probably be kept here for observation so I didn't do anymore damage to myself.

"I need to be alone." I whispered, keeping my eyes closed. I felt the air around me stir but didn't open my eyes to watch Dr. Crenshaw slowly make her way out of the room after her vocal promise to check on me later. I didn't dare risk looking over to see if Jasper and Dr. Cullen were still to my left. I couldn't really see Jasper leaving me alone after everything I'd just said, but the childish part of me fiercely hoped he would. Even though I'd meant every single thing I said, I didn't want him to have heard it.

How were we ever going to have any time of cordial future together if I couldn't let go of the past and finally accept that things were changing yet again. It'd nearly killed me the first time, to accept that my life wasn't going back to normal after my brother's death. But someone else depended on me now, I _had_ to be okay with the new direction of my life for the sake of the personality forming in my womb.

Not bothering to make sure if I was alone or not, I sighed and sank further back into the mound of pillows behind me. My hand was still over my stomach and tears sprang to my eyes when warm skin slid across my knuckles. There was no way I could mistake the hand now covering mine. Jasper was still sitting beside my bed.

"Schae," He prompted quietly, lacing his fingers through mine as the mattress dipped beside my hips. "I know you're awake and I know you want to be alone right now, but I really need you to talk to me."

"About what?" I wailed miserably and looked over at him, dimly aware that his adopted father was now gone too. "Jasper, I don't know what to say to you. Not after everything."

"I earned every single thing you said to me the last time we saw each other. If I could go back and change everything, I would. In a heartbeat, I promise. I was horrible to you and I disgraced Colin's memory by letting everyone be as mean to you as they were. But it's in the past now and look at you. You're still here, fighting and living your dreams. You're an amazing nurse, a fiercely loyal friend to Bella and...you're going to be an amazing mother. But you _have_ to stop pushing me away. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, I was an asshole to you back then, but I'm not that guy anymore. I've beat myself up a million times over for all that, and I've let you have your way. Until now. Today...Schae, I gotta admit, today was a wake-up call from hell. I got the worst phone call of my life and seeing you here...hearing that you almost miscarried, it puts things into perspective. I never want Carlisle to have to call me again, saying that you passed out and are unresponsive. That was just as bad as him telling me that the baby's heartbeat almost couldn't be found."

"Stop." I muttered and turned my head away as tears spilled down my cheeks. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Of course he was right. We had to put the past behind us, we _had_ to or an unsuspecting person was going to get hurt. A person that had no vote in being created and thrown into the chaos I'd unknowingly created around us.

"Darlin'." Jasper sighed and I looked over in surprise at the sudden accent in his voice. An accent I hadn't heard since right after he and Rosalie came to live with the Cullens. "I'm asking for forgiveness here. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that what I did back then is so irrehensable that you can't forgive me?"

"No." I admitted weakly and shook my head, tightening my fingers around his a little as I lifted my eyes to meet his once again. "You're not the only one who got a wake-up call today. And thinking about it, using the logical part of my brain.... How can I continue hating the father of my child? I'm just scared, Jasper. And I've been holding onto high school for a really long time. Part of me wanted to come back and show all of you what I'd become. How hard I worked to transform the little girl that no one saw into the young woman that everyone _had_ to notice. But I never expected or counted on you."

The smile that spread across Jasper's face was sad as he leaned in and lightly rested his forehead against mine. "We have a lot to talk about, you know that right?"

"I know." I sighed in agreement, my eyes fluttering closed then open at his close proximity.

"When you're released, will you come spend some time with me? I want you to know the guy I am now, not the kid I used to be. And I want to know you, even though there's a lot about you that hasn't changed much."

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned away from him a little in surprise. He laughed though, and I relaxed a little.

"I meant that as a compliment, Schae. But like I said, we have a lot to talk about."

"Okay." I nodded and gave his hand another gentle squeeze. "I'll come spend a few days with you. Bella's been talking about her friend from La Push coming up to spend some time with her and I _know_ he's gonna need a place to crash. Good timing."

Jasper chuckled quietly and nodded, then surprised me yet again by kissing my forehead once more. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad once we finally cleared the air and just _talked_. We might even be able to find some sort of stable ground if we just put childhood aside and acted like actual adults.

At this point, I was willing to try anything if it meant I didn't scare him like I had today.

Jasper stayed with me for a little while, holding onto my hand as I drifted back off to sleep. But when I awoke the next time, a new person was holding my hand and watching me sleep.

Bella had tears in her eyes as she leaned over and hugged me tightly. "You scared the _hell_ out of me, girl!"

"Sorry." I laughed quietly and looked up at her apologetically. "I really didn't mean to, I promise."

"Is there anything I can do?" She rushed, narrowly missing the edge of her chair she sat back down.

I snickered in spite of myself and slowly shook my head. "Unless you brought a bag of clothes for me, I can't really think of anything."

A weird sparkle lit up my best friend's brown eyes and she pointed to the wide window on the other side of me. There, on the mobile table, sat my duffel, presumably filled to the brim with clothes and various nessessities.

"Holy hell, you're good." I breathed and looked over at her with a bright, appreciative grin.

She laughed self-consciously and rubbed at the back of her neck with her free hand, trying to mask the color creeping up her translusent skin. "Not really. Jasper actually called me and asked if I could pack for you."

"Oh yeah." I muttered and frowned a little. "I guess he also told you that I agreed to go spend a couple days with him. I'm betting Rachelle doesn't put me back on the schedule for a while."

"As she shouldn't." Bella announced so suddenly that I was mentally taken aback. There was the forceful best friend I knew and adored. "You need some rest and I think it'll do you some good to spend time with Jasper. It'll give you guys a chance to talk and clear the air. And who knows? Maybe it'll be good practice for the future?" She suggested and I instantly wanted to kick my leg out at her when she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"How much did you two talk about anyway?" I asked, eyeing her skeptically.

"A lot more than I'm telling you." Bella chirped out, smiling brightly as she squeezed my hand then got up. "Okay, Sleeping Beauty needs her rest and I've got quizzes to grade. Get some sleep, okay? I'll give you a call tomorrow once you're released and settled at Jasper's."

Knowing there was no point in arguing with her, I just nodded and waved a little. By the time she cleared the door, my eyes were already closed and darkness was gently pulling me back in.


	18. Chapter 18

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Wow, a whole month without any updates on this story. I'm so sorry for that. Things have been insanely hectic and Writer's Block is kicking my butt more often than I'd like to admit. But hopefully this chapter makes up for it. I hope to get back on a regular posting schedule but if I can't, I apologize now. Thanks for waiting and reading this. It means a lot to me._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking credit for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"I do _not_ need that much space!" I blurted out and gaped up at the tall figure looming over me. Of course I couldn't _see_ said figure since it was a little after twelve noon and Mother Nature decided to grace Forks with some rare sunshine. That Jasper Hale was standing directly in front of.

I didn't need perfect vision to see the smile stretching Jasper's face as he loaded what little possessions I had into the back of Esme's car. She'd surprised me this morning by coming with her son to help me leave the hospital. Jasper's bike was not condusive to traveling and I wasn't sure my body could take it.

Dr. Crenshaw was extremely concerned about my condition and had laid down some pretty hefty ground rules. I was going to have to be extra careful if I wanted to continue on with my pregnancy. She'd waited to tell me the new rules until Jasper got to my hospital room, knowing that if he heard what she was telling me, he'd help reinforce everything.

She'd been right, of course.

"Yes you do." He smiled down at me then extended a hand. I stared at it wearily then glared back up at him. I was still in the damn wheelchair, waiting to be put in the car. I could feel eyes on my back and knew that one wrong move would make the nurse standing behind me to turn me right back around and wheel me inside. Dr. Crenshaw wasn't entirely convinced that I was okay enough to be discharged, but I wasn't going to spend any unnecessary time locked down on a hospital bed. Not only were those damn things just insanely uncomfortable, but I was too fidgety to just lay around while the world kept turning.

I rolled my eyes but silently breathed in relief when I was finally helped into the back of Esme's SUV and buckled up. The conversation flowed surprisingly easily as we headed to Jasper's apartment, Esme chattering on happily about all of the things her fair-haired son now needed to do because I was staying with him. That meant that Edward was moving back home while I called Jasper's apartment my home.

So much had changed while I was sleeping and I was nowhere close to catching up. Apparently Jasper had been very busy while I was recovering from the almost-miscarriage.

A weird surge of panic hit me when we pulled up in front of Jasper's apartment building. Acting like I normally would, I reached for the handle and had the door popped open before he appeared, frowning at me as I turned in my seat to swing my legs out.

"What?!" I huffed and stared blankly at him. He didn't move an inch as I started to scoot to the edge of my seat. Sometimes my legs still felt like jello and I hadn't regained my full strength back. But I wasn't going to if I let myself be babied the way the Cullens thought I should be. I was dimly aware of the fight that lay ahead of me.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked quietly and crossed his arms across his chest. My eyes betrayed me for a brief second and fell onto the bulge of his biceps. Shaking myself mentally, I just shrugged and scooted even closer. If he didn't move, I was going to have to either stop moving or fall out of the car and onto the pavement.

"I can walk for myself, Jasper." I answered in a clipped tone. "Don't start treating me like some kind of invalid. I can walk perfectly fine and we both know it."

"Jasper." Esme's voice hit my ears before she came into view behind her son. He stepped back grudingly and helped me to my feet. I smiled my thanks to the matriarch of the Cullen family and followed them silently into the apartment.

My first course of action was directed at the couch. It looked so comfortable, but I hadn't ever sat down on it. The only other time I'd been in his apartment....

The memories of both times assaulted me at once. It didn't really bother me to remember the day I'd come over to go with him to the Cullens' house. I hadn't been in the house very long and the furthest I'd come in that day had been the foyer. But the very first time I'd ever entered Jasper's living space...those memories made me wince as I slowly walked over to the couch.

I still couldn't remember everything that had gone on that night, and I doubted I ever would. We'd both been drunk and I'd gotten tanked enough that all logic and reason was lost on me. But that had been the night to change my life, _our_ lives actually. It felt weird for me to not remember that, knowing now that'd been the night we concieved the little life growing inside me.

When I actually thought about getting pregnant and having a baby, I'd always sworn to myself that I would remember the actual _act_ of getting pregnant. But I'd broken that promise, more than broken it actually. But as far as potential fathers went, I'd never really given that much thought. Even though I still felt uncertain about my place in Jasper's life, I had no doubt that he was in this for the long haul. Our son or daughter would never grow up not knowing him, he wasn't going to abandon him or her.

With that thought resting firmly in my mind, I didn't care so much about the rest. It was no longer about me and him, as it'd been mentioned in Carlisle and Esme's living room. The most important thing wasn't for us to label each other and our places in the other's life. It was just to come together and prepare to be the best parents possible.

Once I was settled on the couch, with a blanket covering the lower part of my body and my favorite bag of chips resting between me and the back of the couch, Esme declared that she was leaving.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She asked, staring down at me with an obvious look of concern. I could tell that she didn't want to leave in case something else happened, but she had her own family and her own house to take care of.

"I'll be fine." I promised and smiled up at her bravely as Jasper slowly walked into the room. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently, a playful smile on his lips.

"I promise Esme, I'm not letting her up off that couch unless it's to go do something extremely important or to climb into bed."

"Okay." She sighed and nodded, as if nodding would convince herself that it was going to be okay for her to leave. Part of me was starting to become offended, but then I had to remind myself that this was how she was. From what I knew and remembered of Esme Cullen, whenever one of her children was in trouble, she was right there to help and back them up.

Didn't an almost-miscarriage constitute as trouble? The logical part of my brain said yes, that Esme had every right to be here and to be worried about leaving. I'd made this mess, after all. So it was on me to bear any and all possible outcomes and just let his family be involved in the ways they saw fit. None of them were overstepping any bounds. Yet.

The door clicked shut quietly behind Esme once she was gone and Jasper sighed as he sank onto the edge of the couch by my hips. "Sorry." He muttered and smiled sheepishly at me.

"For what?" I asked and tilted my head against the pillow that had been lodged between my head and the armrest behind me. I didn't have enough energy yet to sit up, my body seeming to crave the flat-out posture I'd taken up after sitting down. My fingers had a mind of their own as they reached up and lightly tangled in his hair when he scooted closer to me.

A soft laugh passed his lips as he leaned down and kissed my growing belly. "For Esme not wanting to leave. I hope you didn't take it to mean that she doesn't trust us."

I frowned instantly and looked away as my hand fell from his hair to his shoulder. He'd just voiced the same thing I'd been wrestling with not seconds before. How he did that, I wasn't entirely sure. It was _almost_ as if he could feed off my emotions and draw his conclusions that way. "She's just worried." I finally announced softly and turned my eyes back to his face.

He was staring at me solemnly when my eyes met his again and a weird lump began to form in my throat. I expected some kind of movement but when he leaned over again and brushed his lips across mine, I froze instinctively.

Jasper pulled away after a second then shifted and kissed my forehead before he climbed back to his feet. "Get some rest, okay? You've had a long day already."

I snorted back a laugh and rolled my eyes, but found myself nodding. My initial reaction was to feel stung, put off by the hidden possibility that maybe he was sick of spending time with me already. But that just didn't seem to mesh well with the light kiss he'd just breathed on my lips. A kiss that had taken me completely off guard.

"I'm...okay." I announced, turning my head as he walked past the couch on his way to the kitchen. He stopped as soon as he seemed to hear my words and slowly pivoted around on his now-bare heel to look at me. The look on his face broke my heart and made me feel extremely guilty. For what, I wasn't sure yet. I just knew that I didn't like the look on his face. I didn't like seeing the sadness in his eyes as he came to sit back down with me. Only this time, instead of perching on the couch, he opted for the expanse of floor in front of me. His body folded easily against the base of the couch and his chin planted on the cushion my stomach and hips were stretched across.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice so soft and low that I would've had to strain to hear him in a larger span of distance.

But I heard him perfectly and nodded as my fingers once again threaded in his curly hair. "I'm just tired, that's all. But if anyone should be apologizing here? It's me."

"You?" Jasper picked his head up in surprise and furrowed both eyebrows at me. "What do you have to apologize for? Schae, neither one of us could've seen this coming."

"I should've." I broke in and winced at how strange but strong my voice sounded as I looked away and fixed on an invisible piece of lint hanging off the couch back.

I felt Jasper shift against the couch underneath me but didn't look over at him until I heard his soft sigh. "This whole thing's really put your head into a tailspin, hasn't it?" Against my better judgement, I began to nod my head in silent confirmation of his question. That prompted him to go on, stretching one leg out in front of him so he could face me better without his back being all twisted up. "What has you so stressed, Schae? Maybe if we can get some things talked out, it'll be easier for you to stay relaxed and calm."

Even though I'd known this question was coming, knew that eventually we would have to have this discussion, I didn't like it when it was finally posed to me. And as soon as his question hit my ears, I didn't know how to properly answer it. How did I tell him all my fears and worries, things that were directly related to him, without causing some kind of fight? But, as soon as I sighed and tilted my head down to look at him clearly, the words came tumbling past my lips anyway. "We weren't together when I got pregnant, we had just met again. Hell, we were drunk the night we slept together! That's not how I wanted to create a child, Jasper. Half the time, I feel like I'm keeping you trapped in all this. That we wouldn't even be seeing each other if it weren't for me being pregnant."

Jasper sighed and bowed his head for a few minutes. I shifted uncomfortably, hating what had just come from my own mouth. He'd asked a question and I hadn't even fully answered him yet. Noticing something out of the corner of my eye, I ended up looking up at him in surprise when he sat up on his knees and carefully laid over me. My skin started to tingle a little under his touch, his hand molding gently against my cheek while his other hand flattened over my stomach. "Schae, I wouldn't have slept with you if I thought that was going to be the end of it. I'm not that kind of guy, I never have been. I'll admit I used to be teased mercilessly for it, but I just couldn't treat women the way Edward used to and still does. I wanted something with you, I didn't lie when I said I found you attractive. I still do, but I don't know how to approach you most of the time. Yes, I was surprised when you showed up here and told me about the baby, but I was so overjoyed that it quickly canceled the shock out. Even though our...method was unconventional as all hell, it happened for a reason. And you know how important family is to me and now, that's what we are. That's how I see us, a family. Granted, we haven't connected the way most do when they're expecting a baby, but who says things are going to stay this way?"

"I just...." Words died on my throat as soon as I said those two simple words. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest and my stomach was in knots. I hadn't expected half of what passed his lips, I was surprised by how passionate and convinced he sounded.

"You just what?" He asked quietly, his breath blowing lightly across my face. "Talk to me, Schae. I know that you're not completely comfortable with everything and maybe that's my fault for not forcing us to sit down and talk things out. But maybe this scare was a blessing in disguize. It definitely woke me up, made me see everything that I wanted and almost lost."

"What do you want?" I asked before I could stop myself, my voice a scared little whisper as I continued to stare up at him fearfully. "What do you want from me, Jasper?"

He sighed, causing more air to flow across my cheeks and nose before he leaned down and rested his head on my shoulder. His hair tickled my nose, given how he was laying across me. But I didn't care, I couldn't force myself to move him. I wanted him as close to me as he was, surprised that I'd been longing for it for so long only to get it now. Maybe he wasn't the only one that had realized just what he wanted right before he potentially lost it.

Idly, I reached up and curled my fingers in his hair, sighing quietly at the silky texture that greated my touch. Jasper sighed against my collarbone and shifted his face to rest in the crook of my neck, tilting my chin back as his lips lightly brushed over the exposed column of my throat. My entire body tensed for about a split second before I relaxed and wound my other arm around his ribcage. The kiss he dropped on my neck next was noticable, a chill shooting through me when I felt the light touch of his tongue.

"Jasper," I sighed, unable to help myself as I tilted my head just enough to accomodate his actions. A dim, tiny part of my brain was still trying to figure out how we'd gone from having an extremely intense conversation to now feeling his lips moving slowly up the curve of my throat to my jawline. My head and heart started fighting immediately and by the time his kisses reached my cheek, my conscious had kicked in. Lightly shoving my hands between our body, I lightly shoved against his chest and tilted my head away from him. "Jasper, we can't."

"I know." He sighed and pulled away. My hands fell to my chest as he remained leaning over me, bracing himself with the arm and back of the couch. "But I've been wanting to do that for a while. I don't just see this as me getting a girl I barely know pregnant. I _want_ you in my life and I would've wanted you in my life no matter what. Which is why I want you to move in with me. I know that you moved in with Bella to help her pay bills and I don't want to pull you from her. I don't want to inconvience her, but I want you _here_. I want us to build our lives here. I want you in my bed every night, Schae, even if you aren't willing or ready yet to start a relationship with me. I don't care, right now it's enough to just have you sleeping next to me every night. And I've already started to move things out of my spare bedroom. We could make that the nursery."

Surprise kept me immobile underneath him, staring up at him with my eyes rounded and my jaw slack. He'd put so much more thought into this than I had. Shifting uncomfortably, mostly so that my body actually had something to do, I sighed and ran both hands over my face before letting them fall to my chest once again. "You've thought about this more than I gave you credit for. But...are you sure, Jasper?"

"Of course." He nodded and sounded like his answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't want us living in two separate places even more. I don't want us to have to figure out where the baby's going to stay or worry about missing anything because he or she isn't with us. I want...."

My eyebrow raised slightly as he trailed off. But he seemed genuinely worried about the words that finished that unspoken statement. Ducking his head, Jasper sank back onto his heels as his hands slapped onto his thighs. "Jasper." I muttered and forced myself up onto my elbows. Tilting my head slightly, I reached up to tuck stray hair behind my ear and shifted my hips sideways onto the couch to give myself better leverage. "Talk to me."

It felt weird to be using his own words against him, but it seemed to do the trick. He studied his paint-stained hands for a couple more heartbeats then looked up at me. I wasn't surprised by the expressionless planes of his face, even though it hurt to see him look as defeated as he did right then. What caught me off-guard was the burning intensity in his pale eyes. He believed strongly in what he couldn't bring himself to vocalize. "I want to take care of you in whatever ways you'll let me. That's what a guy does for the mother of his child. Especially a man that knows how it feels to grow up without the people who gave him life."

I'd always wondered how he felt about being adopted. While I knew that the Cullens were incredible parents and he'd probably never been treated like he wasn't biologically their's, the scars from his adoption had to still be with him. Even though my family had fallen apart after my brother's death, I still had them for my formative years. Jasper hadn't. And now here he was, on the cusp of becoming a father himself. I knew I was going to have issues to work through, I fully planned on accepting that head-on. But I had no idea how he was coping with it all, I'd never been in his shoes. So when words began to flow past my lips without any hesitation at all, I didn't force myself into silence. I wanted to say it and I needed him to hear me.

"Then take care of us. I want you to take care of us just like I want to take care of you."

The surprise was slow in spreading across his face as my words dawned on him. But when I saw pure excitment and joy start to take over the surprise, I didn't bother to swallow back the nervous burst of giggles in my throat. Then, just like that, his lips came down and claimed mine for the very first time in my entire pregnancy.


	19. Chapter 19

_**AUTHORS NOTE:**__ Finally another chapter! I apologize for the long wait, but between moving and losing my place in the timeline, this chapter was a little slow in coming out. But hopefully that's all out of the way now and y'all won't have to wait an insanely long time again for the next installment. Thank you for you patience and enjoy! Things are getting interestng now. And since I won't be able to get another chapter out before tomorrow, I hope all you celebrating US citizens have a great and happy Thanksgiving._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking credit for the original characters._

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Halloween had never really been one of my more favorite holidays. Granted, when I was a kid, I used to love it! My mom had been so creative that she would make costumes from scratch then parade me and Colin around the neighborhood. We'd never gone as the same thing twice.

As I walked around the ER, which was already decorated for the holiday since it was now after the first of the month, I began to wonder idly what it would be like next Halloween. The baby would be here and probably big enough to at least have a costume, even though he or she would have no idea why they were all dressed up and being cooed over. But it was a mental image that put a small smile on my face, something that had been a little more constant since I officially moved in with Jasper.

He'd even helped Bella out, much to my dismay when he finally revealed his plans. Edward was living in Forks again, full time, and needed a place to live. Bella had never really been able to tell anyone no so when Edward reported to his first shift as an EMT for the hospital, he'd already been moved into the bedroom I had vacated for Jasper's. I hated the idea of my best friend having to deal with him, but their routines were so different that she honestly told me she didn't see him very much.

I was thankful for that and already planning on having a little chat with my best friend's new roommie. I was determined to make sure he stayed on his best behavior while around Bella, she didn't need any more heartache than she already had since it was pretty obvious she was still harboring a crush for the dude.

Running the back of my hand across my forehead while my other lay flat across my noticable stomach, I smiled patiently at a few other nurses as I passed them. Ever since my fainting spell in the break room, news of my pregnancy spread like wildfire. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore and strangely didn't want to. Things were finally okay with Jasper, though we still had a lot to talk about. We weren't together by any means of the true definition, but he felt oddly comfortable enough with me that he was more affectionate. He'd fallen asleep every single night since I moved in with his hand on my stomach, lightly caressing our growing baby until sleep stole him away and he moved back to his designated side of the bed.

"Schae!" I looked up when I heard my name, unceremoniously yanked from my thoughts. Raising an eyebrow slightly, I tried to figure out what I could've possibly done to put the intense scowl on Rachelle's face. She looked downright pissed as I slowly approached the nurse's station, her eyes tiny slits as she glared at me.

"I didn't do it." I muttered and held my hands up in a surrendering motion. A brief smile won out before the scowl was set back into place.

"You have a visitor." She muttered and gestured behind her at the breakroom. My eyebrows raised again as I laid the clipboard I'd shoved under my arm onto the desk. No one aside from hospital personnel was ever admitted into the employee breakroom. Unless they were causing some kind of commotion or scene.

My heart lurched violently at that and I shook my head slowly. Who could _possibly_ have come here, demanding to see me only to be shut away so they wouldn't do any damage?

"Do I wanna ask?" I finally admitted, glancing over at the clock to see how much time I had left on my shift. The sleek black hands against a white face told me not much longer, only about five minutes. And every since my near miscarriage, Rachelle had been adamant about me leaving as close to on time as possible. Overtime wasn't in the cards for me and wouldn't be until long after I gave birth. That is, if I chose to go back to work. Jasper had already begun hinting at me that he made more than enough money to support both of us, as well as a newborn.

"Just go on." She shook her head and waved me off. "You're pretty much done for the day anyway. Your replacement's already been by to see where you left off. You're free to go."

I nodded and took a tiny step forward, but there was something about Rachelle's expression that just wasn't sitting well with me. Clearly torn, I sighed and walked around the desk, lightly tugging on her arm when I reached her so she would turn and look at me. "What did they do? Be serious with me, you've never looked this pissed off before about a visitor."

"The guy's just a jerk." She hissed out, frowning at a few nurses who had stopped to try and eavesdrop. "Back to work!" She barked at them, causing them to practically trip over hemselves in an attempt to get away faster. Rachelle was damn scary when she wanted to be, like now for instance!

"I'm very tempted to just make you go home without seeing him." She muttered again, causing my stomach to lurch violently when she said _him_. Which excluded Jasper. He was supposed to be at work anyway and once she'd found out that Jasper Hale was the expectant father of my child, she'd become enamored with him. He was the only one of Dr. Cullens' children that could do no wrong in her eyes. Or at least, any of the kids that stuck close to home.

Just thinking about the entire family coming back together for the holidays, with a very pregnant me now thrown into the mix, I wanted to be sick. "Why don't you want me to see him?" I finally sighed, doing my best to remain patient and calm.

"Because he's just going to stress you out." She finally exclaimed then smiled sadly as she lightly patted my shoulder. "And I already worry about you so much when you're working. That day you fainted nearly took ten years off my life. I couldn't help imagining my own baby falling the way you did, you've become that important to me."

I smiled sadly and leaned against her long enough to give her a quick hug before I stepped back. "I'll be fine, I promise. And if you want, I'll even let you eavesdrop outside the door. If things get too heated for your liking, call Jasper and yank me out of there. I'm not taking anymore chances, I swear."

Rachelle eyed me for what felt like forever until she finally nodded and started to wave me toward the breakroom. "You better believe I will be standing just outside the door. And I've got your sweetie's number on speed dial now. Don't think I won't use it."

I snickered in spite of myself and shook my head, conceeding with my hands in the air before I turned and walked properly into the breakroom. Because my eyes were down on my shoes, watching where I was walking, I heard the gasp of shock before I saw the face connected with the sound.

My eyes flew up instantly and I felt like I wanted to throw up all over myself. I was _seriously_ starting to hate this damn room!

"Wow, no wonder you haven't been returning my calls." Bryce Montgomery hadn't changed one bit in the months since I'd last seen him in Chicago. His dark brown hair was perfectly styled against the shock of pale skin adorning his features. He'd always liked his hair a little on the shaggy side and had even been pissed when I dyed my hair black in a fit of boredom. I was pretty sure one of the only reasons why he'd ever gone after me in the first place was because of how light my natural hair color had been. Boy always had preferred blondes, which should have made me more selective about my friends. His dark eyes were nearly flat black as he stared at me coldly, the chisled lines of his face even more offensive now that he was seeing me for the first time in four months.

"What're you doing here?" I asked immediately, having to struggle to keep my voice calm as I curled my arms across my chest, right between my breasts and expanding waistline. "I told you when I left Chicago that I had nothing more to say to you."

"There's plenty more to say!" He blurted out and lurched to stand in front of me. He was tall, probably a little shorter than Jasper but was still impressive. He'd always prided himself on his looks, keeping himself in immaculate shape thanks to the hard labor he endured thanks to owning his own construction business. He was a couple years older than me and had never really let anyone overlook the fact that he'd snagged a 'younger' woman.

My eyes narrowed and my arms tightened against my upper body as I stared up at him coldly. "Oh that's right. How _is_ Shelby doing? Does she know you're here or did she come with you?"

"You know it wasn't like that." He stuttered, obviously hating that I remembered exactly why I'd left him in the first place. Or rather, the final straw in the slow disintegration of our relationship. I should've never gotten into a relationship with him, his history hadn't exactly been a secret in the circle of friends I'd accumilated. But by then, when he came into my life at the exact time the loneliness was the toughest to bare, I'd been too weak to resist him.

"I don't care." I admitted with absolutely no emotion in my voice. He reached out to touch me and I flinched back instinctively. I didn't want him touching me in any way, shape, or form. "It's in the past and neither of us can change it. But I've moved on. My life's here now."

"The hell it is!" Bryce threw back and straightened up as he reached out to grab my arm. "Schae, you really think I'm going to let you stay here while you're carrying _my_ child? I don't think so. I knew you were keeping something from me when you left but I didn't think you'd be so low as to hide _that._ You know how much I've wanted kids."

"Keep wanting." I laughed out, almost sure that I shouldn't have found it as amusing as I did for him to instantly believe that he'd been the one to get me pregnant. "This baby isn't yours, Bryce."

He rolled his eyes and reached for me to again, only to frown deeper in frustration when I moved out of his grasp yet again. "I mean it, Bryce." I went on, my tone lowering to get my point across. "I wasn't pregnant when I left you."

Surprise slowly dawned on his face as he took a step back, his eyes widening as he took in the expression on my face. This was a guy that knew when I was lying and when I was telling the truth. Right then, I didn't feel the slightest inkling to lie and possibly spare his feelings. Not after what he'd done to me.

"Well you little whore." He sneered, his lips curling into a smirk that made my stomach roll. "After all the shit you put me through after finding me in bed with Shelby, you ran and jumped into the bed of the first guy you met, didn't you?"

"Oh please." I grimaced and turned my head from his. I wasn't entirely sure what my turning away from him did, but I was sure he was angry when he was suddenly in my face and holding my chin in a painfully tight grip. "What I did and what you did aren't the same thing." I muttered, the words coming out a little garbled thanks to the way he was holding me. "I didn't set out to sleep with someone and end up pregnant. But it happened and you have no place in my life anymore. You haven't since the day I left Chicago."

"Right." He scoffed and let me go. Just then, the door opened behind me and I heard Rachelle's quiet wondering if I was all right.

"This isn't over." He warned, pointing an accusitory finger at me before grinning as his hand slid across my stomach. "You know, I almost forgot how good of a liar you are. But eventually you'll have to tell me the truth. Then you'll have no choice but to come back to Chicago."

"Like hell." I hissed and jerked back, swatting his hand away quickly as Rachelle moved further into the room. Glancing at her, I discreetly shook my head then looked at Bryce again. "I already told you, this isn't your baby."

"We'll see." He grinned then leaned into me long enough to brush his lips across mine. I wanted to vomit immediately, my head twisting away from his so violently that I almost gasped in pain. "I'll see you soon, Babe."

Then, just like that, he was gone. Strolling out of the room as if he somehow owned the entire hospital. My knees began to buckle as soon as he was out of sight and if it hadn't been for Rachelle, I would've landed square on my ass. Somehow, she guided me over to a nearby chair and made me sit down. It wasn't a difficult thing to accomplish since my legs couldn't support me anymore. Whatever adrenaline I'd had while facing off with Bryce left my body as quickly as he'd disappeared from the room.

"Care to explain?" Rachelle asked, only kind concern playing on her features as she pulled a chair up beside me and sat down.

I sighed heavily and dragged a hand across my face before I slowly shook my head. "You were right in wanting me to go home. I can't believe that guy showed up here."

"I can have him banned from the hospital if you want." She supplied, looking a little too cheerful at the prospect of keeping my ex from having access to me while at work.

"Thanks." I gave her a weak smile then shook my head again. "But that'll just make him more amped to find me. The last thing in the world I need is for him to come face to face with Jasper."

"True." She mused and tilted her head slightly then rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "But what an interesting encounter that would be."

I laughed, in spite of what I really wanted to do right then and shook my head before starting to slowly climb to my feet. "I'm gonna head home." I admitted and smiled when Rachelle jumped up to help me rise to my full height. I waved her off, smiling my thanks again then grabbed my purse.

"I'll call Jasper and let him know you're on your way." She offered and immediately made me wander about what kind of plan they had set up that would enable them to keep an eye on me and the baby.

"Thanks." I knew there was no way to talk her out of it, so I just waved and headed out to the parking lot. I kept looking around as if someone would jump out of the shadows at any time. Bryce was in Forks, something I honestly hadn't expected of him. It was no secret that he knew where I was from. I'd mentioned it briefly whenever we would talk about our past and where we'd grown up. He'd been born and raised in Chicago with no immediate plans to leave his hometown. And since I was the transplant, he'd taken it upon himself to get me acclimated to his home turf. But Forks was nothing like Chicago.

Here, I had no place to hide. The town was too small and way too many people knew where I lived and _how_ I lived. Any face that passed me could potentially point them in the direction of Jasper's apartment, which was located way too close to the hospital for my comfort levels.

But at least the drive home was a short one. If I hadn't been seventeen weeks pregnant with a weird sort of fluttering suddenly going on in my abdomen, I probably would've just walked the difference and not given a car much thought. But that would just make Jasper throw a fit and keep an even tighter survellance on me. I adored him for it but sometimes, like today for instance, it was really starting to wear on my patience.

Sighing tiredly as I finally let myself into the apartment, I set my bag down by the door and toed my shoes off. Jasper wasn't due home for another couple of hours, which left me plenty of time to get my head straight and figure out the real reasons why Bryce had decided to show up in Forks. It'd been months since the last text message and he'd never directly called me. If he had, it'd been timed pretty damn well to come through whenever my phone was off. Either that or I just had crappier reception than I thought and was missing calls. Either way, something just wasn't adding up.

And he hadn't said a single word about whether or not he was still pursuing Shelby. I would've been fooling myself if I believed that he immediately stopped whatever he had going on with her to get me back. He'd been direct and honest with me when I asked him later, before leaving Chicago if this was the first time they'd ever slept together. The resounding answer, and ultimate slap to the face had been no, they'd been sneaking around behind my back for months before I eventually caught them togethr. And if I hadn't? Well, I didn't need him to tell me that he would've continued cheating on me.

How could I trust a guy like that and more importantly, why would I _want_ to? I'd hoped to someday marry and have a family with Bryce. But I wasn't stupid, I'd noticed the changes in our relationship when he began shacking up with Shelby DuGrey. But there was part of me that had just turned a blind eye, a small sliver of my ego and conscious that didn't want to accept this as the truth. Then there was another part of me that had demanded why, to know what I'd done wrong that forced him into the arms of a girl I truly considered to be my best friend.

Thinking about it all, I could practically feel my blood pressure rising. I wasn't supposed to be stressing out and almost as if I needed something to remind me of why I couldn't let myself get out of control, the odd fluttering I'd felt when I left the hospital happened again. I giggled at the sensation and looked down at my belly as I pushed the hem of my top out of the way then flattened my hands over the exposed skin.

"Are you finally moving around in there, Little One?" I couldn't help but ask, snickering again when I recieved some sort of answer. The fluttering started up almost at once, as if someone had thrown a switch in my belly. I giggled again and couldn't stop for a good five minutes. Even when I heard a knock at the door, followed by my cell phone chiming to signal a text message recieved.

I grabbed the door first, waving Bella inside as I moved to dig my phone out of my purse, one hand still curled against my growing stomach.

"What's up?" She asked, slipping her low heels off before she moved for the couch. That was probably her most favorite piece of funiture in the entire apartment, not like I could really blame her. I'd been so attached to that couch. Up until I was confined to it for two weeks straight. Jasper hadn't budged on that and made me stay there, ignoring my whimpers and attempts at bribery to at least move to the bedroom so he could use the living room.

"I think the baby's moving." I muttered and flipped my phone out to access the text message I'd recieved just as she knocked on the door. I glanced up and giggled again when I saw her rounded eyes, laughing a little more when she scrambled to her feet and ran over, very narrowly wiping out before she regained her balance. "Dude, not that big of a deal." I snickered and grabbed her hand, momentarily forgetting about my phone as I flattened her hand over the spot where I'd felt the most fluttering.

Her nose scrunched up and her eyes narrowed into slits as she tried to feel what I was. I took that brief second of Bella's distraction to check my phone and wanted to groan aloud at what greeted me. Of course, a text from Bryce.

_I will have access to my baby. As well as the mother of that baby._

Flicking the phone shut, I tossed it onto the couch then chuckled when I finally caught the look on Bella's face. "What is it?"

"I can't feel anything." She announced, huffed, then withdrew her hands. "Are you sure you aren't stressing again and just cracking up?"

"Hardly." I rolled my eyes then went to sit down on the couch. "Though I do have reasons to stress, no."

"Oh no." She muttered and plopped down carefully beside me, curling her legs up underneath her sideways since she had come straight from the school and hadn't changed out of her skirt and blouse ensemble. "What happened?"

I sighed and let my head fall back onto the couch for a second before I straightened up and looked at her. I suddenly needed someone to talk to about this before I let Jasper know. Not like I could have kept this a secret from him anyway, but it still felt like a good idea to at least _try_ and get my thoughts straight before he came home and demanded answers. "My ex showed up at the hospital today."

"What!?" She screeched and bodily turned to face me, her eyes wide with shock. "How did he find you?!"

"It's Forks." I deadpanned and gave her an 'are you serious?' look. "It's easy as hell to find the hospital. But he ran into Rachelle first, she locked him up in the break room because he was causing too much of a scene."

"No doubt in anticipation of seeing you." She muttered and rolled her eyes before shoving a hand up into the back of her impossibly long hair, resting her elbow against the couch back. "How'd that go?"

"Great." I muttered with a small shrug then sighed as I flattened my arms around my stomach once I'd pushed my shirt back down. "Until he saw the belly and immediately assumed the kid's his."

"No way." She breathed then slowly shook her head back and forth in disbelief. "What an ass!"

"You can say that again." I sighed and closed my eyes, slouching further into the couch as I reached up with both hands to wipe at my face. "I tried to tell him that the baby's not his but he wasn't having it. He's convinced I'm lying to him out of spite."

"For what?" Bella raised an eyebrow slightly and let her hand sink further into her hair. "You never told me why you ended things."

"Because I caught him in bed with my supposed best friend." I announced and turned my head to look at her, not bothering to lift it up off the couch.

Bella's nose wrinkled in an adorably cute fashion before she raised her free hand. "As your current best friend, I can promise that you will _never_ come home and catch me in bed with Jasper."

"I know." I grinned and winked at her. "But can we say the same for me walking in to find you in _your_ bed with Edward Cullen?"

A weird look overtook my best friend's features as she rolled her eyes and began to shift rather uncomfortably. "Not if he was the last human being on either! He's been bugging the crap out of me since he moved in."

"Oh no." I muttered and curled a leg underneath me so I could turn at least a little to look at her clearly, grateful to have a distraction from Bryce and all his drama. "What's he been doing?"

"What _hasn't_ he been doing?" She grimaced and folded her arm against the couch, her head following suit seconds later to rest her cheek against the crease of her elbow. "He's just...being him! Walking around practically naked, using up everything and not replacing it. He's also been making these outragous demands on what I should cook for _his_ dinner. And did I mention that he broke up with that girl you work with and started seeing someone else?"

"Okay." I nodded once and lightly slapped my hands onto my thighs as I prepared to get up. "Looks like this best friend has some stepping in to do. Not to mention ball-threatening."

"Schae." She sighed and slowly sat up as I started to wiggle to the edge of the couch. I wasn't that big, yet, but it was difficult now that there was a noticable curve between my boobs and pelvis. "You have bigger things to worry about."

"Than my best friend being bugged out of house and home?" I gaped at her then shook my head, grabbing my phone right as I successfully got to my feet and started to usher her onto her feet. "Go home and change clothes. I'm gonna change myself, figure out how to tell Jasper about Bryce, then we'll be over to have dinner. Carlisle told me he isn't working tonight so it's perfect timing for me to step in." Grinning brightly at her, I didn't give her a second to interject her thoughts as I began to unceremoniously shove her toward the door.

"Seriously Schae." She warned and turned to face me just as I got the front door opened. "I don't want you stepping in, I can handle this."

I raised my eyebrow at her slightly and leaned against the open door for support. She didn't respond automatically and I nodded in understanding. She was still too much in lust with him to stand up to him. Which was where I came in. I very rarely butted into anyone else's personal affairs, but Bella wasn't just anyone. She was my best friend and the potential godmother to my and Jasper's baby. After everything she'd done for me, I felt like this was the very least I could do for her.

"I promise that I'm just gonna talk to him." I announced and even held my hand up in a Scout's Honor kind of salute. "Besides, it's bad luck to argue with a pregnant woman. We may go into labor just to guilt you into seeing things our way."

Bella let out a snort of laughter and shook her head as she took a step out onto the front stoop. I hugged her quickly, kissed her cheek then winked at her. "Okay, okay." She conceeded and held her hands up in surrender. "I know when I'm beat. But just remember that Jasper _will_ be there and I _will_ tell him to keep an eye on you while you talk to my _lovely_ roommate."

"That's the spirit!" I grinned then laughed and shut the door once she was walking through the parking lot toward her beat-up old Chevy. I began to chew on my lip then, wondering how Jasper would react if I suddenly brought up the idea of us getting a new, more family-friendly vehicle. He just wouldn't need to know that my beloved Bug was going to be gifted to Bella.


	20. Chapter 20

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Okay, so when I sat down to start writing this story, I had some ideas of how I wanted characters to progress and whatnot. Starting point and stopping points and all that. This chapter has proven that I had no control at all. Whatsoever. So here you guys go! Enjoy and thanks again so much for coming back for each and every chapter._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I just take credit for originals._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty:**

Bella hadn't been gone twenty minutes when my cell phone chimed. Bryce was at it again, reminding me how tenacious he could be if needed.

It stung a little when I realized he was just doing this because he'd convinced himself that I was pregnant with his baby. If I'd been able to keep this a secret from him, I was almost certain he'd of already gone back to Chicago with plans of making another woman's life miserable.

Putting my plans for a shower on hold, I checked my phone and was surprised to have a voicemail mesage, instead of the text I'd assumed. I got into my inbox pretty quickly then wanted to groan aloud when Bryce's voice greeted me.

"_Schae, you can't avoid me forever. I don't understand why you're acting like this. How fair do you think you're being? You're cheating me out of a pregnancy that I helped create." _My heart began to beat a lot faster as the message ran to it's conclusion, my eyes closing when I heard it was only a pause. The gravely voice that followed sent cold shivers of fear up and down my spine. "_Schae I _will not_ lose my family. Do you understand me? You can't hide from me."_

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the loud 'click' reverberated through my ears. The message was quickly deleted and I tossed the little blue device aside once the call was diconnected.

I'd been hoping, foolishly that Bryce would back off and I'd never have to worry abou thim again. I'd actually been looking forward to not having to tell Jasper about any of this and we could just go back to the strange little arangement we had going.

Whimpering at the sudden headache building above my eyes, I grabbed my bathrobe and went to take my pre-planned shower. I was desperate for a nice hot shower that would relax my muscles and hopefully put the little flutterer growing inside me to sleep.

I only got about as far as undressing before my reflection stopped me. There was a faint impression from the elastic waist of my work pants coiling around my hips before dipping under my rounded belly. There were also red patches of irritation from my bra across my ribcage, reminding me oh-so-subtly that I was gaining weight in places other than my midsection. I frowned a little and turned sideways, regretting it almost as soon as I stopped and turned my head toward the glass. My breasts were, of course, considerably larger, probably a full cup size bigger now that I was four months pregnant. But my belly was probably the biggest change, growing about an inch with each passing month. But from the sides, I could still see all the hard work I'd put into slimming down. That brightened my outlook a little.

"Pretty soon, I'll be nothing but belly." I muttered darkly and swiped a hand over the growing bump attached to the front of my body.

"Hey Schae?" Jasper's voice broke through the silent apartment so quickly that I instantly whirled around with a guilty look on my face. I was so shocked by his voice that I was still frozen in surprise when he walked into the bathroom.

"What're you up to?" He asked with a faint smile playing on his lips. His eyes traveled lower, taking in my stomach before silently reminding me of my current state.

"Out!" I commanded and reached over to quickly throw my robe on.

"Why?" He laughed out then sighed and gently stopped me before I could fully cover up. "Schae, don't be embarrassed by this, please?"

My flushing cheeks gave me away before I could say anything otherwise. "Jasper, you're not supposed to be so calm when you walk in on me naked."

"Why not?" A genuine frown appeared on his face when I sat down on the edge of the tub. But his next words kept me from reaching out to turn the taps on. "I've seen you naked before. You're still as gorgeous now as you were that night. Maybe moreso."

"Stop." I frowned and waved my hand slightly as I stood back up. "You've seen me naked once. Before I started becoming larger than life."

"Is that what you're so worried about?" I wanted to hit him when he started smiling in relief. "Schae, you're pregnant. You're going to be getting bigger because of that. But that doesn't mean you're...."

"Stop!" I interjected again, grimacing as I cinched the terrycloth belt around my waist. "I don't mean that, though I do adore you for saying it. I mean..." Sighing, I raked a hand through my hair then flung the strands aside. "What I mean is that I'm not yours to just...walk in on! Seeing me naked whenever you want isn't part of the deal."

"Since when do we have deals?" He frowned and followed me down the hall and into the living room. My phone chimed eerily as I passed it, but didn't reach over to grab it and see who was trying to contact me now. I refused to entertain the thought of it being Bryce. Again. Jasper was still following me and I hadn't figured out how to tell him about my ex.

"Schae." A chill tore through me when Jasper's voice went dangerously low and he lightly grabbe dmy arm. I was pulled around effortlessly to face him and my shoulders slumped when I saw the worry clouding his pale eyes. "Talk to me. What has you so defensive? Did something happen at work today?"

I shrugged uneasily and took a shaky step back. "I don't want to talk about it." I lied, even though I was nearly bursting at the seams to just tell him everything. The one thing I needed most right then was the one thing I refused to let myself have; physical comfort from the real father of my child. "I promised Bella I'd come over for dinner. Since I'll be threatening your brother, I'm sure you'll want to come too."

A slow smile spread across his features as he shook his head slowly. "Do I want to even _ask_ why you're threatening Edward?"

"You mean besides the fact that he deserves it?" I asked, tossing the question over my shoulder as I absently picked my phone back up. I really didn't want to deal with another message from Bryce, but I couldn't run the risk of Jasper using my phone and stumbling across it.

The unopened text had Bella's name attached and I instantly breathed a sigh of relief. She was wondering where we were and what time Jasper was due off work. Texting her back quickly, I nearly forgot Jasper was even standing there when I turned to walk back into the bathroom. He didn't stop me, like I assumed he would and I breathed a mental sigh of relief when I finally got the shower on and the water temperature adjusted the way I wanted it.

Stepping in under the hot spray, I vaguely heard movement in another part of the apartment, too focused on muscles under my skin relaxing as soon as hot water hit. My body ws slow in relaxing under the powerful fall of water and I'd almost actually fallen asleep when noise behind me pulled me from my thoughts.

The shower curtain moved carefully away from the wall and I jumped in surprise when Jasper's face instantly appeared. If he was affected by the look on my face, he didn't show it. He simply stepped into the tub behind me, his body just as bare as mine.

"What're you doing?" I sputtered, hugging my arms to my chest as I turned my back to him. I couldn't cover my butt, and I knew it. Plus he'd already seen everything, all the changes, just moments ago. So what was the point other than sheer self-preservation?

"Proving a point." He replied shortly then came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my growing midsection. A small sigh unwillingly escaped from my lips as his hands slid over my stomach, water beading up on the back of his hands as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "Not everything I think about is sexual." He started, his eyes on the faucet in front of us instead of looking down the front of my body. "And something's obviously gotten your head into a frenzy. While I do want to know what it is, you'll tell me when you're ready. I'm not going to push it. But I refuse to stand around and let you feel badly about yourself, or think it's wrong for me to want to see all the changes happening to your body. That's our baby growing in there and I just want to be a part of things as much as I can."

Air felt lodged in my throat as I looked at the ceiling. The exact same things Bryce had said to me earlier in the day were now being repeated from the one person who could actually _say_ it and get away with it! I could feel tears building up in the back of my eyes but I refused to let them flow freely. I had to get a handle on my emotions, which was hard thanks to the hormonal surges I was now a helpless victim to.

"I really wish I knew what to say." I admitted quietly, helpless when he sighed and straightened up. I was turned around with ease and bit down on my lower lip promptly when his hands moved from my belly to cup my cheeks. He didn't look the least bit bothered by the fact that we were standing naked in the shower, having such a deep and intense conversation.

But I just couldn't ignore it any longer. The conversation itself felt like a heavy blanket was looming overhead, threatening to swing down and start suffocating me at any second. Add in the fact that we were naked for the very first time as two sober adults, I felt in way over my head.

"I'm sorry." Jasper sighed and stepped back carefully when I broke our gaze and looked down at my bare feet. "I shouldn't have disrupted your shower."

"It's fine." I muttered and turned to look at him again to make sure he'd heard my statement. But he was gone. The shower curtain fluttered back into place as Jasper's shadow dried off then disappeared from the bathroom.

Being left alone once again, I felt nothing but shock. I'd fully planned on being the one to get out. I'd already finished with the important part of showering when Jasper's arms wound around my belly. But to have him be the one to back off and leave? For some reason, it just didn't sit right. My skin, or at least the parts of my body that had come in contact with his were still tingling lightly under the skin and I immediately thought back to the night we'd slept together.

"This is all gonna be the death of me." I muttered then promptly shoved my head underneath the spray of now-lukewarm water.

* * *

"So how's it going?" Bella asked as she and I cleaned the kitchen up after dinner. Jasper hadn't been so put off by me that he'd gotten out of going to Bella's for dinner. I guess he still remembered my statement about threatening his brother and took it to heart! From the moment we walked into the door, he started acting like I was just going to charge the guy and tear his head off.

As entertaining as the thoughts had been, especially thanks to all the wild mood swings, I had actually planned on having a civilized conversation. Or rather, as civilized as I could get considering who I was going to be speaking with.

"It's weird." I sighed and handed her a soapy plate, which had just been scrubbed a little more thoroughly than necessary given our dinner choice for the evening.

Bella didn't seem to notice and nodded absently as she rinsed the plate off then set it in the dish drainer. I could tell something was on her mind right then. She was usually so careful when it came to cleaning up. Thanks to her less-than-stellar balance, she had become determined to keep all dishes in tact as she moved from one sink to another. I used to joke that she took her 'disability' way too seriously, but when I'd walked in on her accidentally dropping a bowl that she thought was going into the drainer, I became a little more convinced.

"Okay." I sighed and fully turned to face her once I was done, letting the water drain out of the sink as I trained my eyes on my suddenly fidgety best friend. "What's happened now?"

"Oh no!" Bella flustered and pointed a wet, accusatory finger at me with her eyes narrowed into slits. "We're not talking about me right now, we're talking about you and the baby daddy drama you have going on."

As soon as the words passed her lips, I wrinkled my own nose and leaned away from her a little. "Okay, promise you'll never say that again." I muttered then dissolved into a completely random peal of laughter.

Bella stared at me like I was crazy for about a full second before she soon found herself laughing as well. I loved the hell out of Bella, probably as much as a best friend _could_ love her chosen friend, but some of the things she had said over the years were so off-the-wall that all I could ever think to do was laugh.

Apparently some things hadn't changed since high school.

"What's going on?" Jasper looked at us weirdly as he slowly came into the kitchen, Edward staring at us warily from behind his fair-haired brother.

"Nothing." I immediately sobered up when I caught Jasper's eye and shook my head. I turned back to the sink and tucked hair behind my ears before reaching over to wash any remaining soap from the sink I'd used.

"Liar." Edward quipped and smiled almost slyly as he leaned against the wall beside his brother and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Speaking of," I muttered, shooting Bella a dark look before I turned and crossed the kitchen. I didn't think twice in grabbing Edward's arm as I walked past him and continued out into the short hallway. "You and I need to talk, Bud. Come on!"

Edward, thankfully, followed me and collapsed onto the couch, leaving me to occupy the chair right beside the worn sofa. "What's up?" He asked and finally sat up so that I could have enough room to sit beside him and speak quietly. I couldn't help wondering if Bella had somehow warned him ahead of time that I would want to have some kind of serious discussion with her new roommate.

"Stop being such a dick." I blurted out in a rushed whisper, moving from the chair to the couch to sit beside him. "I can tell from the way Bella acted at dinner that you're making her uncomfortable and this is her apartment too."

"How am I doing that?" He shot back, looking surprisingly genuine as he stared at me in shock. "I haven't brought a single girl back here since I moved in!"

"She told me you broke up with Elena." I mentioned with a sigh and quick nod of my head.

Edward nodded too then raked a hand through his impossibly unruly hair and leaned forward onto his knees, staring straight at me as he clasped his hands together. "And I broke up with the girl I started seeing after Elena. I'm trying, okay? Yeah, I had a little fun with her when I first moved in. But Bella's actually an amazing person to live with."

"Then start showing her that!" I hissed, looking up guiltily when I heard movement coming from the kitchen. Where I'd left Jasper and Bella. Crap.

"I have been!" Edward hissed back, recapturing my attention from all the possible worst-cases running through my head. "I've actually been thinking about asking her if she'll teach me how to cook. I want to start contributing more and yeah, okay, I could cool it with a few of my less-than-stellar habits."

"Like walking around half naked." I interjected and threw him a pointed look before something sort of clicked in my head. "Wait, why _are_ you walking around Bella half naked?"

I'd never really seen Edward Cullen look uncomfortable or unsure of himself. Ever. Not in all the years I'd known him. Hell, when we went to tell his parents about the baby, I didn't even see him that way. But right then, sitting on the couch in Bella and now his living room, talking about him walking around half naked, he was shifting in his seat and refusing to meet my gaze.

"Edward." I ground out, sick of his little act after a whole minute had passed. "What is it that you aren't telling me? Come on, there has to be a reason for you going all caveman on Bella." I muttered then let out an involuntary gasp. Complete with slapping my hand over my mouth. Edward looked up then, apologetic and guilty all in one look. "Please tell me you aren't taking pages out of kindergartener's books on how to show a girl you like her!"

"It's not that." He hissed then shot to his feet and paced away from the couch. He kept his back to me for a second before he practically flew onto the couch, leaning toward me with a new, wild sort of desperation set to his features.

Okay, hadn't been expecting our conversation to go _quite_ this way.

"I'm not doing anything like that. Yeah, I've been an ass for a good portion of my life. Am I making excuses for it? No, I knew what I was doing and I've had plenty of chances to change my behavior. Well, I guess you could say that I finally saw how my behavior was affecting Bella and feel terrible about it now. But I honestly have no idea what to do. How to I prove to her how grateful I am for her letting me move in after you moved out?"

"Uh, you can prove it by stop being such a douche!" I blurted out, almost absently. Hurt passed through his green eyes and I felt a swell of guilt for what I'd just said. Sighing, I shook my head then rested my forehead on my hands, elbows digging into my thighs. "I cannot believe I'm about to say this to you." I muttered then forced myself to look up at him. "Okay, yeah, you were a douchebag in high school. You treated me and Bella like complete crap, but we got used to it. Or rather, I got used to it and I even stopped getting within two feet of you. But Bella? Well let's just say she had sort of a different approach. She's always believed there's good in anyone, no matter what they do or how many people they hurt."

Edward nodded slowly then surprised me by laying a hand on my arm, which lay hanging over my bent knee. "Wait, Schae, since you brought up high school."

"Oh no." I muttered and immediately wanted to get up and go hide behind Bella. But I stayed rooted in place, my muscles held on lock-down thanks to the expression on Edward's face.

"I need to apologize for that." He finally sighed and looked down at the growing bulge under my shirt. "You're becoming part of my family, and I've treated you like crap from the moment you stepped foot back in Forks. I'm not stupid." He smiled sadly at me then tentatively rubbed my arm before pulling his hand away. "In high school, we practically drove you to want to get out of Forks. It was no excuse and we should've been better than that. But your brother dying, none of us knew how to deal with that."

My throat clenched instantly around my heart and for a second, I was sure that I would pass smooth out. But Edward went on before I could have a chance to stop him. "I'm not sure how much you remember of your brother and all his friends. But it was no secret how popular Colin was. Even though I was in the same grade you were, he took me in and made me feel like I was part of the 'cool crowd' or whatever you want to call what our brothers were. Anyone who was friends with Colin knew that you were offlimits, in so many ways. We were asked to treat you like our little sister and a lot of us blew it big time when he died. I chose to deal with his death by making your life hell. I can't explain how I came to the conclusion that my plan of action was the right one. And I know it wasn't, especially when your family basically fell apart after Colin's accident. But I want you to know now, after all these years of torturing you and Bella, I've finally gotten my head on straight. It took me a hell of a lot longer than I wanted it to, but I know I have a lot to make amends for. Both with you _and_ with Bella. And I want us to be on good terms, especially after the baby's born."

"Why?" I muttered, my voice thick thanks to the tightness still keeping my throat locked. "What's changed in the past few weeks that you're suddenly having this apiphany?"

"I guess..." Trailing off, he just shrugged helplessly and ran his hand through his hair once more. "Seeing your stomach expanding and watching Jasper when he talks about being a father made me more sensitive to how I treated you back then. I've wanted to apologize for years but I never knew how. And now, being here with Bella and seeing just how amazing she is...." He trailed off again and blew out a low breath. "You were right when you told me that I didn't know you back in high school. And I wish I had. I wish I hadn't been such a monumental jerk to you both."

"Then just stop." I muttered helplessly and flailed my hands. "Stop making Bella uncomfortable now. Respect her space and help her out! You're right, she _is_ an amazing person and is the most loyal friend I've ever known. Just be kinder to her and it'll go a long way. Bella's not as cynical as I am and has always sucked at holding a grudge." Especially one that involved her high school crush. But I refused to admit that part aloud.

"What about with you?" Edward asked, watching as I rose and started to step away from him. "How can I make things right with you?"

For a second, I had no idea what to say. I was still stunned by this sudden 180 from Edward. As far as I knew, he was still making Bella's life hell. But now, to find out that he was seeing my best friend the way I'd always seen her and wanted to fix how he acted around her? It was all a little mind-blowing to say the least. And then there was his apology for how he used to treat me. How did I react to that? What could I possibly say to a kid that had been much closer to my brother than I'd ever known?

Colin had his secrets, there was no doubt about that. When he entered high school, we didn't hang out as much as we had during our elementary and middle school years. But he'd always been so approachable, making friends wherever he went. He never saw age when he looked at someone, he just didn't care. He'd be the first person to make fun of someone, but then he'd turn right around and buy them a soda and treat them like he'd been their friend for a lifetime.

"Just be good to Bella." I finally muttered and lightly patted his shoulder. "Be the kid my brother apparently saw when we were freshman."


	21. Chapter 21

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I keep saying it won't happen, but it does. So accept my apologies via new chapter? I'm so sorry for the wait._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking the blame for originals._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One:**

From the age of thirteen on, I'd never really given much thought to the holiday season. It was just, in my opinion, a set of holidays that were oversensasionalized so that greeting card companies and retails stores could make a quick buck. Or five. While Thanksgiving wasn't nearly as bad as Christmas, I still dreaded the end of the year.

Not only did they start playing Christmas music earlier and earlier every year, but the dreaded Black Friday made me refuse to leave the house. But I'd stopped celebrating after my brother died and my mom skipped town. There wasn't a need to any longer with my family as fractured as it was. But this year?

This year I wouldn't be able to just sit at home with pizza, ice cream, and enough soda to fill a swimming pool. This year I was going to have to actively participate in the festivities now looming over my head. Carlisle and Esme Cullen demanded it and since I was carrying their first grandchild, there was no way anyone was going to ignore their wishes.

I just wished things were less icy with Jasper. He hadn't really talked to me since before Halloween, spending more time at work than at home. When I asked him about it, he just mumbled something about needing to make as much money as possible for the baby. But I knew better. He was avoiding me and it was really starting to hurt. Especially with all the changes and new developments in the pregnancy.

Suffice to say, at twenty-four weeks, I was about as big as a house. Moving around was difficult now thanks to my growing belly and the baby stretching my curves was kicking more frequently.

Jasper was gone so much that I hadn't even been able to tell him about it. There'd been no tender moments where he caught me giggling and would reach over to feel the tiny person we'd created moving around.

I hadn't even been able to tell him the baby's sex! Hell, I wasn't sure if he even _wanted_ to know. The only words exchanged between us now was small talk. We hadn't had a serious conversation since that day in the shower.

But at least I hadn't been been forced to tell him about Bryce. Yet.

Sighing as I walked through the front door of the apartment, I froze immediately when I saw Jasper seated on the couch. It wasn't so much the fact of _where_ he was sitting, but _how_ he was sitting. His hands were locked in front of him, dangling over his knees as honey curls hid his face from view.

"Jasper?" I asked, feeling extremely cautious as I closed the door behind me and dropped my stuff by the entry way.

He looked up and nearly pulled my heart up into my throat when I saw the expression marring his sharp features. "Is there something you need to tell me, Schae?"

My pulse sped up instinctively, my limbs feeling mechanical as I walked over to the couch and practically fell back. "Sure, a lot actually."

Jasper looked alarmed for a split second before anxiety once again consumed his face. "Schae, I know that I've been scarce and there's no excuse for it. But we _need_ to talk now."

"About what?" I breathed right as a particularly nasty mood swing hit. "And why now? You're right, we haven't talked _at all_ since the beginning of last month. I've had a bunch of things to tell you but you just couldn't be bothered! So what changed so drastically in six hours that you look like the world is about to crash in around you? What could _possibly_ be so horrific that you suddenly feel the need to start talking to me again?"

He sighed then, deep and in a way that almost terrified me. Okay, so I might've gone a little overboard with the anger but a small voice in the back of my head was screaming that I'd been completely justified. Too bad that didn't stop the barrage of worst-case senarios that began to play through my head. Silence lingered and those images only sharpened as they snapped into line. Did he regret asking me to move in? What was I going to do if he suddenly decided to kick me out? Then came thoughts about the baby. Would he be malicious enough to try and take full custody once the child was born? Or had he changed his mind completely and now wanted no part of fatherhood?

My mind was in such a whirlwind that, when a heavy stack of papers hit my thighs, I could only stare dumbly at it.

"Who's Bryce Montgomery?"

My stomach lurched, my chest tightened, and my muscles all locked at the exact same time. I'd forced everyone who knew about Bryce to secrecy. Thankfully only Rachelle and Bella knew about my annoying ex but could they have maybe let something accidentally slip? No, they wouldn't. And besides, Jasper had been working some crazy hours at the garage he owned with some friends. There wasn't any time, that I knew of anyway, where he could've been told about the surprise attack at the hospital.

"Why?" I asked, my voice feeling like a solid obstruction in my throat.

He just shrugged then used his chin to gesture at the forgotten pile of papers in my lap. "Who is he, Schae? Why is he petitioning for custody of the child you told me is mine?"

His words barreled mercilessly into my head, bouncing around as a foreign chill raced through my veins. I had to come clean.

Now.

"He's my ex." I answered quietly and picked up the parcel that I now realized Jasper had tossed into my lap.

"The one you left in Chicago?"

I nodded then tilted my head back, eyes on the ceiling as I tried to blink back tears. "He showed up at the hospital about a month ago. The day you crashed my shower, I was trying to figure out how to tell you when we stopped talking."

"About what?" Jasper, who I'd never heard raise his voice in anger before now, exploded. He was on his feet faster than I could blink, with his hands balled into fists at his sides. "That you've been lying to me for months?! How could you, Schae? You _told_ me that this baby was mine, but yet here comes another guy...saying _he's_ the father! What am I supposed to do with that?"

"This isn't _his_ baby." I screamed, only able to look up at him helplessly while tears flooded my vision. Suddenly, I hated being so insanely pregnant. Not to mention, Jasper had a low ass couch!

"How do you know?" Jasper shouted back, pivoting on his heel to face me again. I could only _imagine_ how pathetic I looked to him in that moment. Trapped on the couch because I couldn't scramble to my feet as easily as I could when I first moved in.

"Because it doesn't add up!" I roared then crumpled back into the deep curve of the sofa. "The math doesn't add up." I went on, staring dejectedly at the mounded roll of my belly. "I was worried, at first, if there was a possibility of you not being the father. Then I learned my conception date and how far along I was. Plus, I used protection every time I slept with Bryce. Especially when I found out he was cheating on me. Why would I _possibly_ take chances in that kind of situation? I stopped taking it after I left Chicago, which meant that I wasn't as protected as I used to be when _we_ slept together!"

Jasper, looking stunned, sank to his knees and unconsciously slid a little toward me. For a second, I could actually _see_ the fight drain right out of him. "Then...why?" He whispered and looked helplessly at me.

I just shrugged then struggled to sit back up. After a second or two of fighting, I breathed in silent triumph when I was upright again thenf olded my arms under my belly. Right when I got still, a quick little jerk vibrated through the right side of my stomach. The baby was awake and wanted to have a say, apparently. "He's never liked to lose. Bryce thought that he could cheat on me an dI'd just stay and take it. He was my first love, the first person I ever had sex with. For a while, he _was_ right, but not in the way he assumed. I didn't know _how_ to leave him when I first found out about the infedelity."

"And now you're back in Forks." Jasper's voice was soft as he stared at my stomach. A hand twitched against his thigh and I reached without giving myself a second to think.

I grabbed his hand and gently forced his palm flat before pressing down gently. Almost instantly, the baby kicked right square into his hand.

"That's _your_ baby." I spoke with quiet conviction as awe and surprise flowed across his face slowly. His eyes flashed up to meet mine when the baby kicked again and I had to smile as I covered his hand with mine. "I never would've come to you and told you about the pregnancy if I wasn't sure that _you_ fathered this child." I sighed, then decided to just go for it. "That's your little girl in there, wanting to say hi to her daddy."

His reactions to my words happened in rapid succession. First, there was shock, pure and untainted joy, then he was up and moving. A squeal passed my lips when he gently yanked me ot my feet then wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I molded into him as best I could, but froze instnatly when he pushed me back and stared at me with pale eyes shiny with tears.

"Marry me, Schae. Tonight."

"What?" I sputtered and looked blankly at him. It hurt to have my moment of uncertainty, with the pure honesty and hope filling his eyes. But the questions just would not stop filling my head.

No logical person in their right mind could propose marriage after a month of silence. We hadn't even been able to get our acts together long enough to attempt dating! But then again, we had kind of been doing things backward from the beginning. The first night we ever had an actual conversation and I woke up in his bed the next morning. I barely knew him when I moved in with him. Sometimes I wondered why I'd even been asked to move in. Would that have happened if I hadn't just almost miscarried?

A slow wave of sadness spread across Jasper's features as he took my hands into his then sank onto the couch. I followed suit, worried tha tI'd miss the edge of the couch since I wasn't actually looking down at it. But I was able to sit back down and not look ten kinds of ungraceful. "I'm sorry." He sighed and hung his head as his fingers slid through mine. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Jasper." I sighed then winced when it came out as more of a whine. "Don't apologize, okay? I just...we have a lot of things that we need to talk about. We've been giving each other the silent treatment for a month now! How can we start a marriage if that's how we handle things? And I can't agree to marry you when I still have so many unanswered questions."

"Like what?" I figured Jasper would hate the possibility of adult 20 Questions. But he just straightened up and tightened his hand around mine. "And you're right, we _do_ need to talk. And it's long overdue, so ask me anything."

I sighed heavily then squared my shoulders and stared levelly at him. "Okay, first. Did you only ask me to marry you because of the baby?"

Pain flashed across his face so quickly that, for a second, I had to wonder if maybe I wasn't just seeing things. But when Jasper sighed deeply, I knew that my question had hurt him. It took him at least a minute to respond and when he finally did, I had to remind myself to keep breathing.

"Schae, I will admit that this baby does influence a lot of my decisions now. From the moment you told me, I've been thinking about the future and what I want to give this child. I want...her," a small but wonderful smile lit up his features at that simple word. "I want her to have what I didn't; a mother and a father wholly commited to each other and her. Yeah, we had the Cullens to teach us what we know now, but it wasn't the same. I've always wondered about my birth parents and how things might've been different. So yes, in a way I _am_ asking because you're pregnant. But I'm almost asking because...you're it for me, Schae. How could I ever want anyone other than the mother of my child?"

"Jasper." I started, only to be stopped by him gnelty laying his finger across my lips.

"I know what you're going to say, and it _does_ sound crazy, me bringing up marriage when we haven't even dated. Or _talked_ about dating. No, we don't really know each other, but why can't we do that as a married couple? Let's give our daughter a _real _family. Please?"

With that one simple word, I felt like I'd just been hit in the stomach. Hard. How could I _possibly_ deny him? Sure, it was insanely illogical for us to even consider marriage, but I didn't want to just shut him down. I was too sick of fighting and I had a feeling that if I handled this wrong, we'd end up ignoring each other all over again.

Sighing heavily, I rubbed my forehead tiredly then raised an eyebrow slightly. "When you woke up this morning, before you ever found out about Bryce Montgomery or him thinking that he'd knocked me up, did you plan on asking me to marry you?"

"Yes." Jasper replied. A little _too_ quickly.

Smacking him with the pillow I now kept on the couch, I just shook my head then sighed. "Be serious, Jasper. Why the sudden desperation to get married?" I sort of expected this from your family, but not you. I _never_ thought you'd be doing this."

"Doing what?" I had to look up quickly to ensure he wasn't trying to surpress some sudden burst of anger.

"This!" I blurted out, flailing my arms wildly before jumping to my feet. Well, as best I could considering. "You don't speak to me for a month. A _month_, Jasper. And now, the night you feel the baby kick for the first time and you find out you're having a daughter...we're arguing about marriage! Not...not baby names, or what color to paint the nursery. No, two days before Thanksgiving and you spring marriage on me."

"Why're you getting so worked up?" Jasper asked and looked thoroughly puzzled as he got up then followed me into the bedroom. "Schae, if you don't want to marry me, just say so!"

"Of course I wanna marry you!" I screamed, whirling around to face him with my scrub top hanging limply in my hand. "I've wanted to be with you from the moment you came to live with the Cullens. I've been in love with you nearly all my life! That's why it hurt so much when you did the about face after Colin died. I would do _anything_ to be able to say yes right now. But I can't."

"Why not?" There was a genuine burst of anger in his voice. "Why won't you marry me?"

"Because I don't want you to hate me! I can't...I can't create this family with you when it's just going to fall apart."

"How do you know?" He challenged, yanking my top out of my hand before replacing his fingers and pulled me closer. "How can you be so sure that things are just going to end in divorce if we do this?"

"Because," I finally whispered, my shoulder sagging as tears finally spilled from my lower eyelids. "I know how easy it is for someone to turn around and walk out on their family."


	22. Chapter 22

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ So sorry for the delay. I keep saying it won't happen but, well, life sucks and gets in the way._

_Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I just take credit for Schae._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two:**

Thanksgiving was never one of those holidays that I looked forward to after the age of thirteen. Once a family disbands, there's really no point in looking forward to the holidays. If anything, they served as reminder of all the things I'd lost, not gained in the year as it came to an end.

But this year was proving to be vastly different. For one thing, there was no getting out of attending Thanksgiving dinner at the Cullen house. I'd even tried to talk Rachelle into sneaking me onto the schedule. And it'd worked, for all of about five minutes before Dr. Cullen saw my name and took me off. I seriously hated the pull he had over my boss sometimes. There was just no getting around that Cullen charm, it seemed.

Bella was even falling for the whole thing! The last time I talked to her, the entire conversation centered around Edward asking her to come with him for a few hours. In his words, the way he'd gotten her arm twisted enough to agree...he didn't want to be the odd man out on a holiday. I wanted to smack him upside the head when he came home while I was helping her pick out what to wear but figured it would do more harm than good. He really seemed to be trying, making amends for all his douchebag tendencies over the years. I still didn't entirely trust him, but it wasn't up to me to make decisions for my best friend. That was all on her and no one was asking my hormonal advice.

I was a little bigger than when I'd tried to hide my belly from annoying people during Halloween but there was no disguizing the fact that I was now very much knocked up. The baby was kicking more and in the rare moments when Jasper wasn't completely peeved at me, he would reach over and rub my stomach as she battered around my insides. His voice seemed to be the only thing that would calm her down, much to my relief. As fun as it sometimes was to be pregnant and having a new life growing within me, it still hurt like hell to have this little life kicking around my internal organs. Not to mention the fact that I was eternally glad that the twin gene that had spawned Jasper and Rosalie hadn't been passed to another generation.

I would've shot myself by now if I was pregnant with twins, instead of just our little soccer playing Daddy's girl.

I held my breath as I walked out of our bedroom, dressed for the day's festivities at the Cullen house. This was the first time I would be coming face to face with everyone since Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett graduated from Forks High School. To say that I was secretly terrified was the understatement of the century. Especially when I'd have to come face to face with my baby's daddy's last remaining blood relative. She'd hated me back then and I had no doubt that she'd hate me now. I couldn't wait to get the entire rant out of the way, I'd probably be able to relax once she officially told me just how hardcore I was ruining her brother's life by having his baby. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't good enough for him.

"Well." I sighed and lightly slapped my hands against my thighs. "This is as good as it's gonna get."

Jasper looked up so quickly that I almost died laughing right on the spot. I hadn't touched my hair since I found out I was pregnant so the roots were showing, badly. But I refused to do anything that might endanger the baby so I just dealt with the blonde that was slowly but surely creeping into the picture. I hadn't even cut it either, just letting it hang way past my shoulders were it could thoroughly annoy the crap out of me.

For the occasion, I'd pulled it up with a clip that matched the flowly dark blue sundress I'd thrown on with a black sweater that lay open to reveal what was leading me into the room constantly. I knew it was cold outside, it _was_ November in Forks after all, but my ankles were getting too sore for any kind of shoes. I'd been in agony at work until I invested in some Crocs and pushed the back strap up into the rest of the shoe so it could leave the back open. Now I had black flip flops on that I'd probably get laughed at for later, but could've cared less.

"Wow." He muttered and rose to his full height, eyes glued to the hem of my dress, which lay just above my knee in the front and against the back crease.

"So you won't hate being seen with me?" I hedged, trying my best to play it off with a teasing little smile as I scooted closer toward the door to grab my purse, phone, and keys. We were taking my car, since it was way too cold for Jasper's bike. I just had no idea if he still wanted to follow through on the idea I had about gifting my car to Bella then buying one more suitable for our new family. I wanted something bigger, that wouldn't force me to become some kind of contortionist just to get the carseat in and out of. I'd even been researching SUVs on the Internet.

Too bad every time I brought it up with Jasper, he just told me not to worry. Said the same thing about the nursery, which I wasn't allowed in anymore. I was starting to hate that phrase. Really, _really_ hate that phrase.

He shook his head slowly as he lightly grasped my shoulder then cleared his throat as he turned to check his pockets. That gave me a perfect opportunity to admire what he'd put on; black button down with jeans that looked like they'd been made just for his body. Not too baggy, not too tight. Just enough to keep a girl up at night wondering what was underneath them. Of course, his blonde curls were all over the place in disarray.

Shaking my head mentally, I swore at my hormones and stepped out into the drafty November air. Jasper followed me but at the last second, snatched my keys and steered me toward the passenger seat.

"I can still drive!" I huffed, looking over the hood at him with a wounded expression on my face.

He just, of course, grinned then unlocked the doors and disappeared inside. I huffed again then scrambled in, cursing the updraft I got when I leaned over and pushed the seat back as far as it would go. Yeah, we really needed a new freakin' car!

"Your stomach's getting too big for that." Jasper finally admitted as he shoved the key into the ignition and started the car. My little Bug sputtered to life then evened out into a contented hum, much to my delight. I patted the dashboard affectionately then looked over to see him staring at me oddly.

"What?" I blurted and gave him the same look he was giving me; like he'd absolutely lost his mind.

"Nothing." He finally admitted, shook his head then chuckled. "I just only thought guys did that."

I stuck my tongue out at him when he pulled out of the parking space and started en route toward his parents' house. I knew he wouldn't see it, as focused on driving as he was, but I still felt better doing it!

"So who all flew in again?" I asked once we were out on the road and he'd relaxed a little more. The silence was just killing me and I hated that he was now only talking to me when I initiated conversation.

"Everyone." Jasper responded. Simple, direct. No way I could pull more of a conversation from him. So I sighed and threw my hands up helplessly before crossing them above the curve of my belly.

"Okay, here's another question." I started and actually turned my head to stare at him sideways. Worst came to worse, I was totally blaming mood swings for this one. "Are you going to keep acting like an ass to me or will you actually pretend to like me while we're with your family? I'm already going to get some heat for the baby, and I haven't been around a family since I was thirteen. Are you going to make this easier or harder on me?"

As much as I wanted to play the stress card and remind him of what had happened earlier in my pregnancy, I couldn't. It was too mean and I sometimes caught glimpses of how much that still scared him. But I still must have said something that struck a nerve. I just didn't know about it until we'd reached the house and he'd parked then turned off the car.

"Schae." He sighed then surprised me by turning in his seat to look at me. "I'm not going to pretend that you turning down my proposal didn't hurt. I put myself out there and you blew me off with what I'm sure were very legitimate fears on your part. But why should I keep trying for something when you're right there to slam a door in my face?"

Okay, we were apparently having this coversation in the car. I could understand that since I didn't have to guess how insanely crowded the house was now with Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and whoever she was bringing. Not to mention Carlisle and Esme. But he could've at least kept the damn heater running!

"I'm not slamming doors in your face!" I sputtered then whimpered under my breath and looked out through the windshield. This was going to blow up in my face if I said something wrong, but I honestly didn't know what he wanted to hear. For me to say yes, that I would marry him? I couldn't be sure that was the right decision for us, even though I'd wanted to desperately say yes. Both on that day and every single moment I spent thinking about it afterward. Sighing, I leaned my head back against the seat and stared up at the ceiling. "I honestly wish I knew what you wanted me to say to you right now."

Because I wasn't looking directly at him, I had no idea what kind of effect my words had on him. All I had to go on was the sharp intake of breath and the creaking of his seat as he moved. I finally betrayed myself and dropped my chin down toward my shoulder. Jasper was like a statue beside me, hands gripping the wheel so tightly that I was afraid he'd break his fingers, his knuckles were so white. But I had his complete attention, I knew that much! So I decided to just get it all out now, in the open and for us to deal with before we went inside and I was thrown head first into his family.

"Jasper, I didn't deny your proposal cause I don't care about you. That's not it at all. I wouldn't be sitting here, fighting for what we have so badly if I didn't want some kind of commitment with you. But I've never wanted a guy to offer marriage as some kind of means to an end. I don't want you to marry me because I'm sitting here, pregnant with your child. That's not the way to start a lasting and healthy marriage, which is what I'd want if I were to enter into that kind of union with you. And I'll admit, my background doesn't really breed well for me to like that word. I'm terrified of tying myself to a man that way. I came so close with Bryce and that blew up in my face." He moved again when I mentioned my ex and I was soon the one pulling air in sharply when his pale blue eyes turned on me and seemed to solidify right then and there.

"Let me finish." I repremanded, doing my best not to let him see that he was getting to me and honestly scaring the crap out of me. I could already feel words just dying on the tip of my tongue. But I refused to back down, this was way too important for my cowardice to get in the way. "I'm not comparing you to him, far from it. You've stepped up in the biggest of ways and I'll never be able to repay that kindness. It's just..." Sighing, I looked away from him and picked my head up off the seat back. My hands were folded beneath the swell of my stomach, fingers picking at each other in anxiety. "It's enough to me for you to just _want_ to be there. How could I ask any more of you than that when I didn't even expect the gifts you've already given me?"

This time, Jasper reacted in a way that I hadn't been expecting. I even jumped a little in my seat when his hand suddenly shot into my line of vision as he curled his hand around mine to keep me from fidgeting. "It's my turn to talk." He replied quietly, his voice a little hoarse. Probably from our topic of conversation, but I couldn't really be sure. I just did the best I could in steeling up for whatever he was about to throw at me next. I even looked up at him uncertainly, which he returned with a sad little smile. "You know I was adopted, I could've very well ended up differently if the Cullens hadn't come into my life. So family is a very big deal to me cause of all the people in there. And my background's coming into play here. I want this child to be brought into the world the way children are meant to. That may be a very archaic thought, but that's how I feel. It's one of the few things my birth parents were able to instill in me and my sister. I understand where you're coming from, Schae." His sad little smile grew a little more genuine as he began to swipe his thumb across the back of my knuckles. "But I'm not going to apologize for wanting you to not only be the mother of my child, but my wife. I want to experience this with you again, as many times as you and God will allow." He teased, winking and laughing a little before sobering up. "I know that nothing about our origins is normal. None of it makes sense, but there _has_ to be a reason we landed in this situation."

"Sure there is." I deadpanned and looked at him blankly for a second. "We forgot to use condoms."

"Schae." He sighed and looked away as he prepared to pull his hand from mine. I reacted instinctively and used my other hand to form a manacle around his wrist.

"Jasper." I challenged quietly, needing him to look at me right then. He did so, thankfully, and I hated seeing the sadness. Not only in his endless blue eyes, but in every single line and shadow of his face. "Can we just...let's just get through Thanksgiving and see how it goes? If your family doesn't completely terrify me then...." Trailing off, I shrugged then smiled sheepishly at him. "But believe me, please, when I say that I'm not closing the door on this discussion. I'm just getting really cold and the baby's kicking the crap out of me cause we're so nervous."

That got an honest laugh out of him. Jasper nodded then surprisingly leaned over and brushed his lips across mine. "It'll do for now, you going in there as my girlfriend."

I laughed in spite of myself and shook my head as I prepared to get out of the car. As soon as I had the door open, the Cullens' front door burst open and people began to stream out. A tiny brunette I remembered to be Alice was first, her face alight with curiosity and burning energy.

"Schae!" She squealed and launched herself on me. I laughed in surprise and almost pitched backward if Jasper hadn't been behind me to steady us and the sudden weight of Alice's little body. Girl was still just as tiny now as she had been back in high school!

"Hi." I breathed when she finally let me go, but held me at arm's length. No doubt to investigate the belly.

"Let her get in the house before you attack her." Jasper warned, smiling kindly at his petite sister then the wave of people seemed to swallow me and carry me inside. It was a whirlwind of activity as I stepped inside the Cullen's house. My jacket was taken and disposed of, leaving me in my sweater. I even kicked my flip flops off at the door, not wanting to disappoint Esme and potentially ruin her floors. I could just imagine the kind of cleaning frenzy she'd gone into while preparing for her family coming home.

"Okay, she's inside!" A booming voice greeted my ears and I automatically turned to see Emmett Cullen staring down at me. He was still just as intimidating as hell! If it was possible, the boy had gotten _even bigger_ after graduation! So unfair compared to my 5'3" frame. I was all belly! So uncool.

Especially when I noticed a stoic blonde standing next to him. Rosalie Hale, the twin sister to the man that had impregnanted me.

"Hi." I waved awkwardly then breathed a silent sigh of relief when Bella had somehow drifted up to my side. Glancing around, I noticed that Jasper was nowhere to be found and frowned. So I'd been passed off! Good to know.

"When'd you get here?" I sighed and wound my arms tightly around her neck, not wanting to let her go and revert back to the unreadable glare of Rosalie.

"Just a few minutes before you and Jasper pulled up. Everyone was wondering what was keeping you."

I sucked in air and let it out slowly as we let each other go and I shrugged. "Just had a couple of things to talk about, that's all."

Bella nodded, but before she could say anymore, Edward appeared. I had to admit, he cleaned up really well! Then again, he always had with his modelish looks and 'sex-me' hair as some of the girls at school had called it. He was dressed sorta formally in black slacks and a light brown thermal sweater that complimented his hair pretty well.

"Hi Schae." He smiled uncertainly at me then leaned forward to grasp me in a one-armed hug. I returned it as best I could then winced as I pulled back.

"You okay?" Emmett asked as he stepped up to me and Edward frowned at me.

"Yeah." I sighed and ran my hands over the bulge under my dress. I flashed a weak smile at Edward and shook my head slightly. "You didn't break me, promise. The baby's just been kicking a lot today."

"Really?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when Rosalie said something. She even closed some of the distance between us, twisting her hands nervously against her flat and undoubtedly toned stomach. She was dressed just as she used to in high school, but perhaps a little more sophistication than before. She was swathed in all black, a form fitting dress that ended right above her knees and pumps that I would've killed myself in if I dared to try and wear them. Her beautiful blonde hair was still long and flowing in loose waves around the shoulders of her simple dress.

"Yeah." I gulped and nodded then held my hand out. "Want to feel?"

She threw a panicked glance at Emmett, to which he returned with a smile and nudge. I could see how they worked so well, even after all this time. She pulled in a brave breath then laid her hand in mine. I took a second to notice the diamond engagement ring on her finger and a pang went through me. I could've had something like that on my finger by now, if I wasn't so damn stubborn.

But I pushed it away and focused on where the baby was, trying to mentally figure out positioning before I flattened her hand over the exact spot I'd been kicked. "Say hi." I offered and grinned up at her encouragingly. This girl was blood family to Jasper, and to the baby I was carrying. I'd of been lying if I said her opinion wasn't _the most_ important. She was my baby's last tie to her biological family outside the little one's daddy.

"I don't...." She started to say but broke off with a gasp when a tiny foot nudged her hand. I giggled this time, since she wasn't up near my ribs or down near my organs. I looked up to see Rosalie's eyes, an exact replica of Jasper's, widen in surprise then she pushed her hand a little more firmly against my skin. The baby reacted once more and kicked her aunt's hand.

"Feel it?" I asked with a small grin, even though I knew she did. Her face said it all and I was momentarily reassured that the day might not be a total disaster. Perhaps there was a chance I could keep this woman from totally hating me.

"That's amazing." She whispered and let her eyes fall to where her hand was. But in a split-second decision, she turned and grabbed her fiance's hand. "Feel this." She commanded quietly, her voice still laced with the shock flowing through her as she replaced her own hand with Emmett's much larger one. Instead of speaking up almost immediately, like I assumed he would have, he stayed silent and still.

I rubbed the other side of my stomach, where the baby's head was and laughed again when a strong kick was delievered to the palm of his hand. "Holy shit!" He bellowed and we all broke apart instantly when Esme shouted.

"What did I tell you about cussing?!" She stood in the entryway between the foyer and kitchen, hands on her hips with a wooden spoon in hand. She'd been cooking apparently. But as she was about to get onto her insanely large son, her eyes landed on me then widened. "Schae!" She beamed and pulled me into a tight hug. I was bounced back seconds later and had to snicker a little when her hands fluttered over my growing belly as Jasper came up behind her.

"One of us had to let her know we finally made it." He teased, even winking at me before he came around to stand behind me. His hands landed on my shoulders and began to lightly kneed the skin. My knees buckled and my eyes, which I hadn't even realized were closed, flew open when a strong arm wound around my waist and a hand grabbed my shoulder.

"Sorry!" I blushed so badly that my cheeks felt like they were on fire. Jasper and Emmett, who I realized was still standing to my left, helped me over to the couch and didn't let go until I was sitting down.

"We should've had you sit down sooner." Rosalie was close to apologizing, which I was grateful for. I just smiled a little and shrugged then looked up to see Jasper still towering over me.

"No worries. I just didn't expect you to hit a knot." I smiled sheepishly up at him then grinned cutely when he laughed and shook his head.

"No more theatrics, okay?" He teased then leaned down and brushed his lips across the top of my head. I heard a few cooing sounds and plopped back against the couch in protest.

"That means I'm confined to the couch, doesn't it?" I joked then looped my arms around Bella's when she settled down beside me. Now that I actually had a second to breathe, I was finally able to notice her outfit. A very cute little skirt, blue with flowers printed on it and a solid colored shirt in a darker blue. Her hair was loose and free flowing, making her look so much more womanly than ever. But that wasn't what really made her look different to me.

It was the undulated happiness in her eyes. Oh boy, we were going to be talking later, I could just see it happening now!


	23. Chapter 23

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I keep saying I won't wait so long between chapters, yet I do it anyway. I apologize for that. If it's not one thing in my personal life, it's another. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get chapters out now that I'm in the same boat as Schae. But I do promise that I haven't given up on any of my stories, I just ask for patience and forgiveness. Thanks guys for sticking with me this far. The end is (sadly) almost near._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking credit for the originals._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three:**

It took a little while but eventually, everyone calmed down and I was able to breathe a little easier. Rosalie wasn't straying too far from me and every once in a while, I noticed her eyes on my stomach. It would have unnerved me but a whispered word from Jasper had eased my fears.

His sister wanted a baby so badly, but was determined to wait until she and Emmett were married, which was happening in the coming year. I didn't know the exact date yet but I was still happy for her nonetheless. The more I saw them interact, the more I was convinced how perfect they were for each other. Emmett balanced Rosalie out really damn well.

Esme disappeared back into the kitchen after recieving a phone call from Carlisle, who wanted to let everyone know he was on his way home. Some kind of emergency had happened and he'd been called in. I wanted to huff when I heard that, knowing that someone'd had a hand in keeping me from getting in on that action. Not that I necessarily minded since I wasn't as quick as I used to be, or was used to.

"So how far along are you?" Alice asked, smiling as she sat comfortably in her date's lap. He was a nice guy named Alec with dark brown hair he kept cut pretty short and pale features that seemed to suit his dark blue eyes. They really popped under the shock of dark hair and pale skin, giving him a haunted look that I hadn't ever really seen before. He was tall too, abnormally tall! He nearly towered over Alice, who only came up to his shoulder. But they were cute and complimented each other very well.

I glanced down at my stomach in spite of my best efforts and felt a small smile stretch my lips as I slid my hand down the curve of my belly. "Uh, twenty-four weeks." I announced and looked up in time to see a very bright grin split her features.

"That's six months, right?" She asked, probably wanting to make sure she was right before we launched any further into this conversation.

"It is." I agreed with a light chuckle and slight incline of my head. I could practically feel Jasper beside me, beaming at his adoptive sister as he kept his arm curiously drapped along the back of the couch. I didn't want to read too much into the gesture and just hoped he wasn't suddenly feeling shy about touching me in front of his family. But at least he was sitting with me, that counted for something!

"Do you know what you're having?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when Alec posed the question before Alice could. When I first shook his hand, I kind of expected him to just become part of the background and watch everything around him. But we were pretty much outsiders...me, him, and Bella. But I wasn't entirely sure if she could be counted since Esme had adored her since high school. Not to mention her knowing my mom before she bolted.

Biting down on my lower lip, I promptly looked at Jasper. We hadn't discussed if we would tell everyone the baby's sex, or if they'd even want to know! For some people, part of the joy of having a baby meant waiting those nine months to see if a little girl or boy was being brought into their lives.

"We know." Jasper finally admitted with a small smile and a shrug. "We're just not sure who wants to know and who wants to be surprised when the baby's born."

"I wanna know know." Rosalie announced with a quick nod and was promptly followed by echos of sentiment from Emmett, Bella, Alice, and surprisingly Edward.

"We need to know which way to shop!" Alice grinned and Jasper groaned goodnaturedly beside me. Edward followed suit a second later and I looked at both of them in surprise while Alice stuck her tongue out at both of them.

"She means that she needs a more narrow target for the shopping spree they're no doubt going on. For the birth as well as holidays."

"Oh." I laughed a little then leaned into Bella when a pillow suddenly went sailing at Jasper's head. "Hey!" I laughed out and held my hands up in defence. "Need a little more reaction time, please?"

"Only for you." I snickered again when Alice blew me a kiss then started waving impatiently. "Now tell us! Boy or girl?"

"I can't!" I laughed out, holding my hands up lightly in surrender before I made a sudden decision and shrugged coyly. Of course, this coincided with Esme yelling for everyone to go ahead and take seats at the table. Muted sounds from the front yard signaled Carlisle's arrival home and just as I started to slide to the edge of the couch, he appeared. He was smiling and looked a little out of breath. But just as I winked at Alice, he disappeared to probably go greet his wife and apologize profusely for being called away on a holiday.

"Just don't buy a lot of pink, okay?" I finally asked, smiling secretly at Alice then looked over at Rosalie. Understanding dawned on her face just as her smaller sister let out a tiny squeal and threw her arms around my neck. I stumbled a little, thanks to her sudden enthusiasm and as Jasper helped steady me, I could hear the quiet laughter pouring past his lips.

Everyone started to move slowly into the dining room, which looked like something out of a magazine layout for one of those home-centered magazines. I stalled a little then stole a quick glance at Jasper. "You're having entirely _way_ too much fun with this."

He laughed again, but thankfully could tell that I was only joking about his enjoyment. "Yes, yes I am." He teased then leaned forward and kissed my forehead before practically dragging me into the dining room. I selected a seat toward the middle of the table so that the biological and adopted children could sit closer to their parents. Bella ended up on my left and Jasper took the seat to my right. Rosalie and Emmett sat next to each other, of course, ending up right in front of me and Jasper while Alice and Alec chose seats toward the left of them. As I sat down and got comfortable, conversations quickly errupted around the table. Everyone genuinely seemed happy to be with each other again, quick to catch up on everything they'd missed while living seperate lives. Of course, a lot of the focus was on Jasper and me. They wanted to know so much about the baby and I hated not knowing what exactly to keep to ourselves and what to reveal.

Esme broke in long enough for everyone to hold hands and say grace, something that was manditory at her table before any of her food started leaving the immaculate serving dishes. I went along with it and idly wondered when the last time was that I partook in anything like this. Sure, I'd prayed like crazy when I feared for the health of my baby, but religion left my family the same day Colin did.

Thinking about my brother immediately put an ache in my throat that I just couldn't swallow away. I missed him so much during the year and my grief for him no longer being in my life hadn't really changed much over the years. But it was especially during the holidays that I missed him, his humor and his laugh. He could put anyone at ease and often did when so many personalities in the same family came together. Often times during the holiday season, while my mother was cooking, she'd get frustrated at all the kids coming in to sneak food away. Colin was always right there to rangle in the children and distract them from hungry bellies. She adored her oldest child, there was no mistaking that. But I loved seeing the obvious joy and love in her eyes whenever she looked at him. That same love and joy was spread onto me whenever she'd look down and see me standing right beside her, ready to help get the food ready and on the table.

"Schae?" Jasper's quiet voice pulled me unceremoniously from my thoughts and I looked over to see him staring at me in obvious concern. Feeling some kind of moisture on my face, I tentatively reached up and touched my cheeks. Wow, I'd actually started tearing up and didn't even realize it. I was so lost in my thoughts and memories from my family.

"Sorry." I smiled sheepishly at him then quickly swiped my fingers over my eyes before I looked around to see everyone else staring at me worriedly. "Hormones." I laughed shakily then lightly squeezed Jasper's hand when it landed on my thigh.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I looked to my left when I heard Esme's voice and nodded bravely.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to draw attention to myself." I could already feel my cheeks starting to stain with color thanks to all the eyes suddenly on me. "I was just thinking about my brother and parents. I didn't even realize I was tearing up."

The pressure of Jasper's hand on my thigh increased a little before disappearing all together. Just as he did that, a sound kick was delievered to the side of my stomach. I jumped then smiled sheepishly when Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice's eyes continued to follow me from across the table. Feeling the baby kick seemed to be just what I needed right then. Yes, I was upset and missing the family I used to have, before a fatal car accident stole it all away from me. But I had a new family now, opening up right before my very eyes. I'd never thought, in a million years, that a one-night-stand would develop into what it had. That I would have the guy sitting next to me that I did, smiling encouragingly at me and willing to give me the rest of his life.

Any other guy probably would have walked away by now, I knew and fully understood that. Hell, I'd probably been with one of those men until my path crossed with Jasper's. We had our issues and I was far from ready to construct the ideal family unit that he was obviously longing for. But there wasn't as much holding me back as I'd originally thought. And as I listened to everyone go around the table and state the one thing they were most thankful for this year, I realized that they weren't holding onto the past in a long-term sense.

We'd all grown up since graduating from high school. If they saw me as that scared little girl anymore, it didn't show. Once it reached Jasper's turn to say something, I realized that I was the only one still holding onto the past. Even though I'd sworn to myself that I had, _I_ was still holding onto that little girl. Terrified to let go and build a future where I could be happier than I'd ever known possible.

"I'm most thankful for Schae." Jasper announced and I was suddenly looking up into his perfect blue eyes. Air quickly left my throat and I was sure that I wasn't the only one gasping as he smiled then leaned over and gently pressed his lips to my forehead before his hand flattened over my belly. "And our baby. I got something this year that I didn't even know I was looking for. Or wanting."

I started blushing all over again at his words and even ducked my head a little when a chorus of 'aww' and other varying cooing sounds started to echo around us. I sat up and winked at him as I slid a hand over my rounding stomach. Eyes landed on me yet again, but at least I wasn't unknowingly crying this time. Blowing out a low breath, I mentally squared my shoulders and looked around at the family gathered for Thanksgiving. "I can't just pick one thing that I'm grateful for this year. There's probably about three. So really quickly," I started and paused to smile sheepishly when laughter swirled around me. "First, for Jasper and our baby." I nodded once then turned my head to smile at him as I slid my hand into his. "Thanks for not running away." He winked at me then I trudged on. "I'm thankful for his family too." I found myself nodding again as I smiled at each member of his family in turn. "Thank you for accepting me and my new place in his life. I know we're not exactly doing things in a conventional manner, but your support means the world to me." I blew out another quiet breath then looked over at the girl sitting on my left. "And finally, very thankful for the best friend a girl could have. Thanks for everything, Bella. I owe you so much!"

More celebratory noises erupted and I stole a quick chance to hug my best friend before Emmett's boisterious voice broke through it all. "Bella's turn!" He announced and smiled at the tiny girl to my left. She blushed, just as I had then stuck her tongue out at him as discreetly as she could. But as she fell silent to assumingly figure out what to say, no one could miss the look she gave Edward. It was something I'd only seen in high school, when she would stare at him from afar.

"I'm thankful for my job, my kids, and you guys." She spoke calmly yet quickly with a bright smile on her face as she looked around at everyone then discreetly squeezed my hand beneath the table. "Thanks for giving me somewhere to spend the holiday since Charlie wanted to go fishing more than eat turkey."

Another round of laughter filled the Cullens' dining room then, once Edward stated his thanks for his family and second chances, Carlisle ordered everyone to dig in. I smiled and leaned back in my seat as food started to pile up on the plates around me. Jasper seemed to follow my lead and I sighed happily when he wound an arm over the back of my chair and leaned his chin on my shoulder.

"Happy Thanksgiving." He whispered then we both looked down to see his hand flatten over my growing belly. The baby must have felt or sensed what was going on and promptly nudged her daddy's foot. All so she wouldn't be left out. Either that or she was using her own special way to return her daddy's sentiments.

"What she said." I teased quietly then snickered when Jasper started to make kissy noises in my ear. I grimaced goodnaturedly and lightly pushed his face away. "Dude, stop being gross." I joked then winked at him before I gestured at the spread in front of us. "Start getting some food. I'll fill my own plate once Emmett's is out of room."

Emmett easily heard me then looked up to wink at me. "Not gonna happen for a while, darlin'. Might as well just dig in!"

And from there, dinner went off without a hitch. Jasper helped fend Emmett off long enough for me to get some food then the conversation began to flow easily from there. Esme was probably the best cook I'd ever encountered in my life, not counting my grandmother. She'd always loved the holidays and prided herself on staying in the kitchen to make the perfect meal for her large family.

Just thinking about that, and remembering the times when she would let me help her make mashed potatoes; a lump formed in my throat and I had to set my fork down for a second. Of course, that got a worried look from Jasper. Winking at him, I blew out a low breath then reclined back in my seat. Thanks to the baby getting bigger and taking up more room, my appetite was shrinking by the week. It was kind of funny in a way, but also pretty annoying!

A few people seated around the table noticed that I'd stopped eating and decided to busy me with conversation while I gently ran my hands over my belly. The baby was awake and kicking up a storm, which made me snicker more than I probably should have.

"So what kind of theme are you going to do in the nursery?" Alice asked, her jewel-like eyes just gleaming with excitement as dinner slowly began to wind down.

Jasper had stopped eating all together and, once he'd put our plates up, came back and started lightly rubbing my belly. Alice and Rosalie had even cooed over it, before Alice decided to launch into another conversation about babies. Biting down on my lower lip, I just shrugged a shoulder and pointed to my right. "I sort of gave Jasper creative control over the nursery. He's cute when he's paranoid about what I'm exposed to." I teased and even grinned at him cutely. As much as I wanted to admit it, I unconsciously kept the real reason why Jasper was designing the baby's room to myself.

Even though I was almost sure that they remembered high school and all the drama I'd been encased in, I still didn't want to dredge it up by mentioning Jasper's artistic ability and the fact that I'd first noticed it in the one class we had together. Four years at the same school and the only time we'd ever come together was art class. Go figure.

"And I'm not telling you." Jasper announced, breaking me of my reviere with a teasing little grin on his face. All reserved for his tiny sister, who was now pouting profusely at him. I couldn't help snickering when I saw that expression and quickly shot her a silent look of apology when she caught me.

"I've tried to break him, Alice." I offered, still snickering a little in spite of myself then winked at her. "Next time I'm home alone, I'll go peek."

The tiny brunette began to literally dance in her chair but froze when Jasper's sharp "Hey!" cut off her celebrating. But he was laughing when he said it, so I knew that he wasn't entirely mad at my little omission.

"Face it." Emmett broke in with probably the most pathetic look I'd ever seen on his face, fork dangling in the hand that had been shoved under his chin. "You're outnumbered on this. Alice is going to find out if she wants to know badly enough."

Strangely, I didn't doubt that.

"If she could keep her mouth shut," Jasper drawled in what I hoped was a good-natured tone then cast a glance at his sister. "then she'd already know. But seeing as how I don't want a very certain someone to find out what I've done to that room...."

He chose to trail off then, which made Alice look even more wounded and caused Esme to gently interject. "Speaking of babies!" She lightly clapped her hands together then smiled knowingly at me as she rested her chin on her clasped hands. "Schae, have you given any thought to if you're going to continue on at the hospital after the baby's born?"

Crap! Why did someone have to bring that subject up!? Yeah it shut Alice and Jasper up about the nursery, which I was itching to peek in on. But still! This was a conversation I'd been hoping to have with the father of my child, in privacy. I had no idea where he stood on this, if he was comfortable being the sole provider of our little family.

As I sat there contemplating my answer and smiling apologetically at her for catching me off-guard, I realized there was still so much that Jasper and I hadn't talked about. There was also still way too many things we didn't know about one another. I couldn't anticipate how he would react to things, I didn't know him well enough for that. Just like he had no idea how I handled things either.

"I don't know." I answered honestly, forcing myself not to look at Jasper as I shrugged slowly. And I didn't, which just seemed to prove how much I wasn't ready for marriage.


	24. Chapter 24

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ I keep trying to get these chapters out in a timely manner then I go almost a year without updating. I apologize profusely and thank you guys for sticking with me. I've had my own little baby to welcome into the world so the rest of this story should be a lot easier for me to write now. Enjoy and thanks for getting this far._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just taking credit for the originals._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four:**

Once the dinner was completely over and I'd been ushered out of the kitchen by all the females in Jasper's family, I decided to take a walk through the house. I'd only been in the house once and I didn't really get past the foyer on that visit. But now I had the freedom to roam, as long as I didn't encroach on anyone's privacy and open a door that was closed. Esme kept all of her kids' bedrooms the exact way they'd left it. She wanted them to have a place to come home to if they ever needed it.

Climbing the stairs was tricky at first but once I got halfway up, I was fine. A little out of breath once I reached the upstairs landing but nothing I couldn't get over. The baby decided to kick right then and a small laugh passed my lips.

It was still strange sometimes to think of myself as a mother. To have an actual human being growing within my belly, totally dependent on me and Jasper for her every basic need. Soon we would have to sit down and start discussing names. Or rather, first names. I already knew what her middle and surnames would be, providing Jasper consented.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice I was walking toward Jasper's room until I stopped and peered to my left. The door was open and our jackets lay on the bed. A quick glance around and I stole into the room, my curiosity getting the better of me. The light wasn't on and I didn't want to attract attention to myself. So I used the moonlight streaming in from a nearby window to help guide me around the furniture. It wasn't until I got to the bed that the room suddenly became bathed in light. I jumped and whirled around, one hand on my neck while the other clamped around the underside of my belly.

"Busted." Jasper announced quietly with a mean little smile on his face. "How did I know you'd end up here?"

I just shrugged and smiled sweetly as I walked over to stand in front of him. "It was the baby's fault. She made me come up here."

"Really?" He asked, inclining an eyebrow smoothly as his hands landed on my hips. Or what was left of my hips anyway.

"Really." I announced with a quick nod then snickered when a tiny foot landed near the end of my ribcage. "And because I know you're wondering, yes she did just kick me for saying that."

Jasper laughed quietly then shook his head as he lightly spun me in his hands. I was facing the interior of his room once again. "Go snoop. I don't mind."

"You are _so_ awesome." I announced with quiet happiness then lifted one of the hands on my hip and touched my lips to the knuckles. I didn't turn to see his reaction, I couldn't. My attention was instantly drawn to a covered frame in the corner of the room. As I drifted closer, not really trying to disguise what I was searching for, I noticed that the 8-by-10 inch frame had been wedged between Jasper's nightstand and the wall. There wasn't enough room so the cloth covering the frame had bunched up a bit.

I heard Jasper's soft footsteps but didn't turn back to look at him as I uncertainly reached a hand out. When I wasn't stopped, I took that as approval and started to yank the frame out from the corner. It gave after two good pulls and when I glanced behind me, I saw Jasper seated on the edge of his bed, facing me completely.

"Why is this in the corner?" I asked with a curious smile as I pulled the cloth back. Once my eyes met the glass, I gasped and found myself staring at a younger version of...me.

"Because I could never bring myself to hang it." The bed squeaked as he spoke and I guessed he had stood as I carefully dropped to my knees to inspect the painting. "I must have drawn that a hundred times over before I finally got one I liked."

"But..." I could barely breath. I knew that Jasper was talented. There was no doubt about it and the artwork in our apartment proved that. But this... This brought tears to my eyes. "When did you start this?"

Jasper sighed and slid onto the floor beside me. A gentle yank at my side and I was on my butt, leaning against him with my eyes soaking in every single detail of the painting I could find. "You had just come back to school after Colin's death. Your mom dropped you off and said something that seemed to hurt you. I wanted to come up and see but..." Trailing off, he could only shrug and nod his head toward the painting. "The look on your face that day started haunting me and after a while...it was just easier to stay away from you than it was to face you and the guilt I felt for letting you go through it all alone."

I knew that Jasper felt bad for how things were handled after my brother's death. He and Colin had been pretty close, from what I gathered. But I was a true baby sister, never fully included in my big brother's world. Until it was all gone and that world turned against me. The thing that had hurt the most was the unexpectedness of it all. I'd hoped that his friends would stand by me and help me navigate through the rest of my high school life.

But when I thought about it now, staring at an image of myself from back then, it was selfish to think that people would drop everything just to help me. They had their own loss to grieve and navigate through. Sure, I couldn't quite figure out where all the rumors and nasty remarks had come from, but it was time to let it all go. To file high school away as a learning experience and stop it from hindering my future. Colin would've kicked my ass if he could see me now.

"I remember that day." I breathed after a few moments of silence. I could still see myself on that picnic bench. Headphones over my ears with a CD player hidden beneath my jacket. I was huddled in on myself and wearing my brother's beloved leather jacket. The only thing to survive my brother's accident. "She told me I needed to stop being so selfish about my brother's death and quit acting like I was feeling sorry for myself."

"I never understood that. The relationship between your mother, you, and your brother."

I blew out a noisy little breath at that and rubbed my forehead before I worked on shifting to where I could look at him. "My mom thought Colin hung the moon. He was her first born, her golden boy who could do no wrong. When she had him and appeased my father with the son he'd always wanted, she was done. Told my father that she didn't want anymore kids. So he agreed to go get a vesectomy since birth control really messed with her system." I laughed humorlessly at that then looked down at my rounded belly. "I came along right when she'd finally gotten her life back on track. Even though she never said it, she hated me for ruining her figure and throwing her life into disarray. It didn't help that she couldn't mold me into the perfect little girl she wanted me to be."

I glanced up then and wanted to flinch at the anger on Jasper's face. As much as I didn't want to, especially on a holiday, we were going _there_. I was finally explaining myself and why things had turned out the way they did. Why I hadn't accepted his marriage proposal.

"I knew she loved me, but because she had to. Then when I got to school and everyone shunned me, it made everything worse. I didn't know how to deal with it all since I couldn't depend on my folks. But it was a long time ago. I was wrong and selfish to believe everyone would drop their own lives to help me put mine back together. I'm sorry for all the anger I've held regarding you."

My eyes fluttered closed when Jasper's lips landed on my forehead. His answer to my apology. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, his voice deep and causing shivers to spiral down my spine. "You weren't selfish, you needed someone to help you through all that."

"Stop." I muttered and flattened a hand onto his chest. Our eyes met then and a sad smile contorted my lips. "It's all forgiven and in the past. The painting tells me what I need to know."

Jasper smiled then too and it was just as sad. But he surprised me with his next step. His lips were soft and almost pillowy as they flattened against mine. I could feel the faintest brush of his breath, warm and tinged with dinner. My hormones jumped then and vivid images of the night we'd created our baby danced through my head to a beat all their own. But just as I was about to probably make the biggest fool out of myself, I recieved a kick to my ribs that effectively broke the mood.

He snickered against my lips and his warm breath washed through my senses yet again. "Someone feeling left out?"

I snickered too then nodded, my eyes finally opening when his forehead left mine and the fabric of my dress rustled against my belly. Even though he pulled my dress up enough to display the panties I wore underneath, there was nothing sexual as he trailed kisses along my belly. He was paying attention to our daughter. Or that was what I was trying to tell my hormones.

Jasper was going to be an amazing father. This I knew and was reconfirmed of every single day I woke up in Jasper's bed. His hands never really strayed far from my belly if he could help it, and the affection was always balanced evenly between myself and our growing baby.

"We need to name her." I announced softly, keeping my eyes on him as I braced myself with one hand then let my other hand drift through his honey curls.

Jasper placed a couple more kisses on my stretched skin, right where marks were begining to show then met my gaze. "Do you have any ideas?"

I bit down on my lower lip then as my hand fell to his shoulder. "I haven't really been able to think about her first name, but I know what I want her middle and last name to be."

"Yeah?" Jasper asked with a smile, his eyes lighting up with curious attentiveness. "Can I have the first name then?"

I laughed lightly at his wording and nodded as I leaned over carefully and kissed his cheek. "Only if you help me up off the floor. My butt's going numb."

More laughter filled his childhood bedroom as he pulled me carefully to my feet. I blew out a breath and readjusted my dress right as Rosalie and Emmett appeared in the doorway.

"We were wondering where you two had gotten off to." Emmett announced in his boisterous voice, a knowing smile on his face. But when he and Rosalie glanced at the painting Jasper had propped against his bed, they fell silent.

"Schae..." Rosalie started but stopped when I lifted my hand.

"Rosalie, don't. I've let it all go. None of it matters anymore now, not when there's so much to get ready for."

"Still." She pressed on, her fingers tightening in Emmett's grip as she looked at her brother. "I was concieted and selfish back then, concerned with only myself and how everything affected me. I went along with the girls I hung out with, thinking they were right. But really, they were just girls scorned by your brother. Colin knew how they treated you and wanted nothing to do with them. That's what started all the rumors and..."

"I get it." I nodded then pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "But I have a question for you. Both of you actually." I gestured toward both of them, only stealing a quick glance at Jasper in hopes he would be okay with what I was about to ask.

"Name it." Emmett nodded and looked at his brother-in-law to be before his eyes fell on me once more. "Whatever it is."

"I haven't really asked Jasper about this but I hope he's okay with it." I rushed out in a quick breath then felt my shoulders sag a little. "Will you be godparents?"

Three shocked faces filled my vision just seconds before a set of arms went around me. Feminine arms attached to my boyfriend's gorgeous sister. "Of course!" She rushed out quietly and gave me a gentle squeeze before pulling back to look at me. But then she remembered Jasper and looked over at him. "Is that what you want too?"

"Definitely." He nodded once and grinned before stepping out to hug Emmett. It was kind of comical to watch them embrace but I swallowed it back. I felt tears in my eyes then and quickly blinked them back as I thought of my brother.

Even though I couldn't ask Colin to be my baby's godfather, I knew he was going to be right there to help watch her grow.


	25. Chapter 25

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Here's more. Enjoy! I apologize now for any typos, my eyes are threatening to cross._

_Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just playing in her sandbox._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five:**

"I'm sick of being pregnant." The words passed my lips before I could even consider swallowing them back.

Rachelle looked up from the paperwork in front of her and smiled warmly. "It finally getting to you?"

"Yes." The simple word was stressed as it passed my lips and I leaned forward on my elbows as best I could considering how big my belly had gotten in recent weeks. Not to mention, my unborn baby had decided that kicking my internal organs around like a soccer ball was a great idea! I just wasn't getting any sleep and that hadn't really helped my mood as of late. "And I'm only twenty-eight weeks along!"

Another maternal smile came from my supervisor as she stood then walked around the counter to stand beside me. She moved in front of me when I turned, grimacing as I straightened my back as far as it would go. "The best is yet to come, my dear."

My head fell back at that piece of information as a groan passed my lips. "Rachelle." I half sighed, half whined the word then looked at her pleadingly. "Next time, please lie to me!"

She laughed and patted my arm before walking past me to return to her post. "Is that what you're having Jasper do?"

"Surprisingly?" I paused to turn and wait for her to speak before I went on. "No, he's an amazing suck-up. Keeps telling me how beautiful I am and that I'm not a raging, hormonal bitch." We both laughed at that but then a new voice broke through our light moment.

"Where can I find Schae Jennings?"

It felt like someone had doused me in cold water. The baby stopped kicking as I was holding my breath as I slowly turned to face the source of my sudden panic attack.

"Can I help you?" I asked, wondering idly if the person standing before me would realize that they wouldn't need to look for Schae. I was standing right in front of them. Granted hugely pregnant, but that only softened a woman's face. Not changed it completely.

The woman didn't say anything for the longest time, but a strange smile overtook her features. It wasn't a smile of relief, it was a smile of vindictive pleasure. This woman obviously knew who I was and was glad to find me in my current condition.

"Can I help you?" I asked again, a harder edge in my voice as Rachelle came around to stand next to me. Whoever this woman was, she was obviously of the mindset that silence was a virtue. Not to me.

"I wondered what you'd look like." She started and took a couple of paces toward me. Her arms crossed over the cream colored sweater she'd paired with khaki pants and a jacket I probably would've asked her about if she wasn't looking at me with open hostility. Her hair was dark brown and loose around her shoulders, face made up perfectly with sparkling blue eyes drilling holes into me. Did I mention she looked like a size 0?

"Okay," My shoulders dropped and I walked toward her, not stopping until I was mere inches away from her. I was tired and games had never really been my forte. "I'm at work. If you have a problem with me which, judging by the look on your face you do, then contact me when I'm off the clock. Not standing in the middle of the ER."

The sneering little smile didn't leave her face as I pivoted on my heel then stalked back over to the primary nursing station. The baby was still quiet but I felt a small flutter as I gathered up my stuff to start making rounds. At least someone had my back! That little bubble of happiness carried me until I heard Rachelle's voice then footsteps echoing on the linoelum behind me.

"My name is Jessica Clark." This woman could just not take a hint! I stopped and turned back to her, already knowing exactly who she was. I should've known.

"And he sent you to harrass me why?" I asked without much preamble. I caught her by surprise then but she didn't really let that register for very long.

"My client contacted me a few months ago with regard to paternity and custodial rights. Because you've neglected the paperwork we sent before the holidays, I figured it would be of everyone's benefit for me to come contact you in person." Especially Bryce's, no doubt.

As soon as everything clicked, everything drained out of me. The fight, the conviction, the life... Bryce really wasn't going to give this up. I would have to take some type of DNA test to prove he wasn't my baby's father. I could only imagine what that would do to everyone involved. I didn't want him to see this part of my life. I didn't want him to come anywhere near Jasper. Not when everything was finally going right.

"There's nothing to contact me about." I replied with as much dignity as I could muster. Jessica knew she'd won though. You could see it in my face.

Rachelle briefly squeezed my hand then disappeared. I would've watched her leave but I was riveted on Mrs. Clark's face, judging by the expensive wedding and engagement bands circling her fingers. Seeing the set sent a weird pang through me and I instantly thought back to the night this all had started. The day Jasper recieved custody papers, felt the baby move for the first time, then asked me to marry him.

"I believe there is Ms. Jennings." She went on in her arrogantly sophisticated manner. This woman just was not going to let up!

"I'm sorry." Rachelle suddenly broke in and when I looked at her, I froze in terror. She was pissed. The same expression she'd worn the day Bryce showed up to the hospital was on full display now and she had a walkie talkie in her hand. "But you're harrassing my nurse. She needs to be checking on patients and finishing her duties, not standing here fighting with you. Especially in her delicate condition. Now you go back to your _client_ and tell him to leave Schae and _her_ baby alone."

"Or you can take things up with me." I froze all over again when a frosty voice wafted from behind the attorney staring holes into me. She took a step to her left then turned around. There, in all his professional glory, stood Carlisle Cullen. Rachelle had obviously called in some reinforcement for me. I groped blindly for her hand then gave it a squeeze. I was damn lucky to have her on my side.

"And you are?" Jessica Clark asked and raised an eyebrow. She wasn't sure what to do with Dr. Cullen. No one could really hate him, not with the face of a God.

"I'm a colleage of Ms. Jennings and her child's grandfather. Now do we need to escort you out or are you capable of following this through proper channels?"

The prospect of facing off with Carlisle didn't seem too appealing to her. But she did everything she could to make a dramatic exit, the heels of her expensive pumps echoing faintly as she reached the main extrance then disappeared from view. As soon as she was gone, I let out the breath I'd been unknowingly holding.

I also let my knees give out, apparently.

Dr. Cullen caught me on one side while Rachelle held me up with another. I regained my footing rather quickly and silently prided myself on that. At least I could do something right.

"I called Jasper too." My boss announced quietly as we all came around the nursing station. I plopped down in one of the chairs while the doctor and Rachelle took the ones to my immediate left and right. "He was at work, should be on his way now."

"I hope you don't mind her calling me down as well." Carlisle explained, his voice smooth and calming. But I could see the faint lines of stress around his eyes. The lawyer had pissed him off and I wondered just how much he knew. Hopefully all of it so I wouldn't have to explain myself.

"I don't." I shook my head slightly then smiled sheepishly up at him. "Thank you."

"There's no need." He waved my gratitude off patiently then looked around as people began to trickle into the ER. Shift changes didn't really mark the best times to have a personal, in-depth conversation. "Are you able to come wait in my office with me? Jasper already knows to come up there when he arrives."

"Okay." I bobbed my head then flashed a thankful grin at Rachelle. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Rachelle nodded then winked as she rose with me. "I'll be here all day and you better not even _think_ of apologizing to me!" She was even pointing at me, which effectively closed my lips. "Go get some rest and let me know if you need anything."

I blew her a quick kiss then sighed and gathered up my things. Carlisle waited as I walked slowly, hating that my hips were shifting so painfully. But I only had about eleven weeks to go and everything was hurting by now. And so close to Christmas too...!

Riding up the elevators to Carlisle's office wasn't as tense and stressful as I thought it'd be. Of course he wasn't going to do anything to stress me out even more. That seemed to be Bryce and his lawyer's jobs. I idly wondered when Shelby would show up. Providing they were even still together. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd already moved on and I was thankful that my child wouldn't have him as a father.

If I had any say, this baby was going to have the most stable upbringing possible. No in and out as far as she was concerned.

I was so lost in my thoughts as I trailed Carlisle into his office that it took him two attempts to get me to sit down. I did, smiling sheepishly as I sank into the cool leather chair positioned in front of his desk.

"Do you want to talk about what happened downstairs?" He asked gently and took his seat behind the dark wood expanded into a beautiful desk.

"Can we wait until Jasper gets here?" I asked, hating how tired my voice sounded. "That way I don't have to go through it all twice." Carlisle nodded his consent and just as I was wondering what we were going to do while we waited, Jasper burst through.

He'd come straight from work. The jeans and undershirt he wore were stained with grease, but his hands were surprisingly clean. He'd thrown on a long sleeved flannel and his leather jacket when he'd gotten the call from Rachelle, but I could feel my cheeks tint anyway. It was tough as hell to resist him with all this extra help!

"What happened?" Jasper's feverish worry snapped me out of my thoughts and refocused me on the showdown in the ER.

"Bryce has a lawyer." I announced without much inflection. What was the point in beating around beating around the bush now?

"That's who showed up?" I had never really seen Jasper angry but now I was getting a front row seat. It was scary to see his angelic face contort as ice blue eyes focused on his dad. "Can they do that? Why the hell are they doing all this?"

I'd just gotten my answer on how much Carlisle knew! It was stupid to think Jasper would've kept this from his family.

I just hung my head and leaned back tiredly in my chair. The baby fluttered as I got comfortable and my smile grew a little more genuine when I felt a sudden warmth on my hand. I'd closed my eyes as Jasper and Carlisle discussed everything and Jasper touching my hand pulled me from the sleep I was almost lulled into.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes searching every inch of my face for the answer I wasn't telling him.

"Fine." I consented with a small incline of my head. I flashed a smile at him again then sighed and reached up with my free hand to rub my forehead. "What are we going to do now?"

"You're going to get a lawyer." Carlisle announced and we both looked at him. "Paid for by Esme and myself, of course. You two have more than enough on your plate right now, we're not adding to it."

"Thank you, but that's not going to solve this." I muttered almost absently then frowned a little at the sound of my own voice. Why did I sound so defeated all of a sudden? Yes, I knew Bryce and what he was capable of. But that didn't mean he would win.

"What do you mean?" Jasper's voice was quiet in my ear and his grip on my hand tightened a little.

"It's not just about the baby." My voice grew a little stronger and I sighed, reaching up with my free hand to rub my forehead. "Bryce doesn't like to lose. No matter what the stakes, he cannot stand it if he loses something. Or in this case, someone."

"You."

I could only nod at Jasper's answer and looked at Carlisle instead for the next part. Once again, I wasn't entirely sure what he knew and didn't know about my past. "I was supposed to just sit by and let Bryce do whatever he wanted. He thought I'd just look the other way whenever I caught him with another woman. I did the first time, thinking he'd change and never do it again, but it just put the idea into his head. He could do whatever he wanted to me and I wouldn't leave."

Jasper's sigh told me that he'd just connected the dots. "Then you left and that pissed him off."

"Exactly." I nodded once then sank even lower into my chair. "He's probably using my pregnancy as a way of trying to bully me back into his arms."

"There's no real way to keep him from Schae." Carlisle mused dejectedly and leaned back in his own chair. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a second before he and I were sitting up straight in our seats, looking at Jasper in surprise.

"Sure there is. She can marry me."


	26. Chapter 26

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: So sorry it's taken me this long to post another chapter! Sadly this story is drawing to a close. I'm not sure how many chapters I have left but if you're reading this, that means you've hung in with me this long. Thank you for that and thank you for reading! Enjoy._

_Stephenie Meyer's holding all the cards, I'm just peeking over her shoulder._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six:**

"I really wish this wasn't happening."

Jasper didn't say anything, he just shifted beside me and continued to stare holes at the TV. But I could tell from the look on his face, whatever he wanted to say probably wasn't going to bode well. We'd only been home thirty minutes and the tension was getting to be too much for me to take.

"Well it is." He finally sighed and tossed the remote away with a simple flick of his wrist. Things _really_ weren't about to go well.

"And your solution is marriage." I deadpanned and turned my head to look at him. If we were fighting with the gloves off, might as well go straight for the jugular!

Jasper didn't say anything for a few painful minutes, but when he turned bodily to face me, I almost wanted him to yell at me. I'd come across very few people in my life who could be as lethal with their facial features as Jasper Hale. He gave proof to the phrase '_if looks could kill...'_

"Jazz." I sighed and turned to face him too, pulling out a very old nickname in hopes of diffusing the situation. Yes, we probably needed a massive blow-up in order to fix all this. I just didn't really have it in me to fight. I was sick of fighting with him. "Why do you wanna marry me?"

He looked up at my question and I had to wrinkle my nose. I was pulling quotes from movies now! But the question worked as it was posed, no sense in pulling it back now. Jasper heaved a large sigh, one that moved his whole body before he reached out and pulled my left hand into his. Eyes stayed locked on my hand and thoroughly freaked me out. It wasn't until he began to speak that I caught on and was able to breathe.

"When I look at your hand, I know what I want to see." Jasper started, his fingertips gliding over my ring finger. It sent a chill through me but I tried to fight it off. This was not a conversation my hormones had been invited to! Thankfully, he chose right then to look up at me and my eyes fastened on his lips as they began to form around more words. "It's no secret that I want the baby to come into the world a certain way. I want her to have what I didn't. I know that the idea of marriage terrifies you, that you're worrying I'm going to leave you like your mom left you and your dad."

Whatever warm and fuzzies I'd been feeling disappeared almost instantly when he mentioned my mom and the disappearing act she'd pulled. "Don't bring her into this."

"Why not?" He pushed on, desperation clearly written over every surface of his face. "Schae, she's a big part of this. She's the reason you're so closed off and we both know it."

"No." I challenged and shook my head as I turned and started to climb off the couch. It was an effort in vain. My stomach got in the way and tears sprang to my eyes when I realized I was trapped. Jasper slid off the couch fluidly and that caused the waterworks to ratchet up a notch. "She's not the reason." I was pretty much crying as words formed on the tip of my tongue and burst into the air. "So what if she didn't want to be with us anymore? That's not the reason I'm so...afraid! But if we're being honest here then hell! If I couldn't make my _own mother_ stay then what chance do I have at giving you a reason? Besides." I suddenly wailed and let my arms fall pathetically onto my thighs. I could feel a pout on my lips as more tears trekked toward my chin. "You can get away from me a lot faster than I can get away from you."

Jasper laughed quietly but so suddenly that it made the urge to cry even stronger. Great, he was laughing at me now! The sound died rather quickly though as he knelt in front of me and laid his hands on either side of my stomach. The baby chose right then to kick and I fought a smile as I waited for him to speak again. "This little one needs both of us." He announced quietly but with a sense of conviction that I'd never really heard from him before. "She deserves parents who are just as commited to each other as we are to her. Now, if you don't want that, then I understand. I'll do things your way, just as long as it means I get you two in my life. But I'm sitting here right now, telling you that you're it for me. Yes, things are weird and we're going ass backward on all this. But I don't care." He sighed then and folded his arms a little more against my body, pulling his body closer to mine. I was holding my breath for whatever came next and had to admit to myself that I was a little afraid of the expression on his face. "I've been thinking a lot about the future and I know what I want. I want to be a real family with you and our baby. I don't like the risk of losing you."

I blew out a low breath and nodded slowly as my eyes fell to my hands. I'd just begun twisting my knuckles when his hands appeared in my eyeline and covered my actions. I looked up at him then, tears still in my eyes and shrugged unevenly. "Why does a piece of paper matter to you so much? I'm not asking because I'm trying to deflect, I just...I need to know."

I wasn't sure if he'd been able to hear me when I took my steadying breath, but there was no doubt when he sighed. I could hear it and it almost made me want to take my question back. But I had to know and I hoped he realized that I wasn't taking this lightly. If I was going to take this step, I was going to make sure I wouldn't want to ever take it back.

Jasper was quiet for what felt like hours but was only really minutes. His hands slid into mine, separting them and causing me to look up at him. "It's not the piece of paper, though that is a safety net that I'd like to have. I like the knowledge that if something were to, God forbid, happen to you; I can get to you. I won't be pushed away and made to wait while they tried to track down someone blood related to you. The same is true for if something were to happen to me. Especially now with the baby coming. I think we should have that iron-clad agreement that we're relying on each other first and foremost. And I want you to have my last name too. I don't want to call you my girlfriend or my baby mama." We both paused long enough to snicker at that and I found myself shaking my head.

"Please don't ever say that again." I teased, looking at him almost pleadingly before his answering smile silenced me.

"I won't. I felt wrong just _saying _it." He joked then dropped back into his sobering response to the question I'd been trying to swallow for weeks. "There's one more reason and it's probably the most selfish reason I could ever think of. But it's in my head and I swore I wouldn't keep secrets from you. Not if I expect you to take marrying me seriously. But I don't like the thought of someone else raising my baby."

Even though I'd had a sense that it was coming, hearing him sound so primal and territorial was a surprise. I'd never really seen him like this and I couldn't remember the last time he'd tried to 'stake claim' in anything, least of all me. But here he was, kneeling in front of me and declaring that he didn't want anyone else to be a fatherly figure but him to our baby. But it also hurt in a way. If the baby was the only reason he wanted to keep me then what kind of marriage were we going to have if I agreed to this? Granted, I felt the same way. I didn't want the baby to have a step-mother, a woman in her life who was not her mother. In that respect, at least, we were on the same page.

"I don't want her to have any kind of step-mother either." I muttered quietly and tried to ignore the flinch of pain that hit when I thought about Jasper in love with another woman. Was I really willing to take that chance? If I kept pushing him away, eventually he was going to get sick of it all.

Eventually he would find someone who wasn't me, but was willing to love him the way he wanted and deserved. More than deserved, actually. By saying no, I was opening the door wide for that risk.

I had my decision. It was staring me right in the face. I'd always hoped for a family but had gotten scared when my biological family was ripped away from me. I knew there was no way of knowing what would happen to Jasper and our unborn baby, but at least there was only a chance of a risk. If I didn't take this next step and trust that he would be there until something physically took him from us, then it was more than a chance of risk.

My shoulders sagged as my eyes lifted to the ceiling. Making the decision and verbalizing it were two completely different things and in a way, it amused me a little. But it also confused me. Why was telling him so much more difficult than internally agonizing over it? It didn't make sense but when my mind finally registered the pained expression on Jasper's face, words just fell from my lips. "Do I at least get to pick out an engagement ring?"

I'd never seen anything as slow as the smile that formed on Jasper's face. Confusion and surprise mixed with the single gesture and my heart broke all over again at the implications it could possibly mean.

He hadn't expected me to say yes.

"Are you sure?" His voice was soft and his eyes practically begging me to give him the answer I knew he wanted.

"Of course I'm sure." I agreed with a small nod and sigh. The baby shifted right then and I winced when her foot fell like it'd just been lodged in my ribcage. Jasper's expression altered yet again but when he felt the baby move against his hand, understanding became the more dominant emotion. "I hate the thought of someone else raising this baby. I also hate the idea of you falling in love with another woman. Actually," I paused and tilted my head slightly before a sheepish grin overtook my features. "I hate the thought of you being with another woman period. I know I love you and I can't let my fear rule me forever. Losing you is too big of a risk."

The smile on his face was suddenly blinding and I had to fight confusion this time as his actions blurred into one giant movement. One second, he was kneeling in front of me and the next, his arms were around me and his lips felt like they were practically flying over my face.

"Jazz!" I laughed out and raised my hands to stop him. But any further sound and action were cut off when his lips made purchase with mine. I wound my arms around his neck quickly and was finally able to get off the couch when he pulled me up and into his arms. My belly got in the way and he jerked away from the kiss when he felt the baby kick.

Laughing lightly, we both looked down at my stomach and his hands flattened against the sides of my belly once more. "I think she likes our plan." I teased quietly, tears suddenly coming to my eyes as I looked up to see the expression on his face. this meant so much more to him than I'd originally thought.

For a brief moment, I felt a pang of guilt. I'd just assumed when it came to him and speaking of marriage. At first, I thought he was proposing because I was pregnant. Then the assumtions shifted but grew a little worse each time. But they all centered around the baby and later, around keeping Bryce from the baby.

As much as I hated to admit it, my time with Bryce had really tainted my perception on the rest of the male population.

"Will it freak you out if I want to get married as soon as possible?"

Even though I didn't want to, I froze at his words. My face also felt frozen in a mask of what Jasper would percieve as open horror. He eased away from me then and I looked down when his hands left my belly.

"Sorry." He sighed and looked down, almost as if he were refusing to even try and meet my eyes. "I shouldn't have pushed my luck."

Shaking my head quickly, I put out both hands in front of me then grabbed his forearms. "Just...stop!" I blurted beggingly and tugged on his left arm to get him to look at me. "I'm not going to freak out but can we just enjoy this moment tonight? Too much has happened today and I'm in a mental tailspin here."

Jasper caught on then, but nothing could disguize the look of irritiation that briefly passed over his face. "Okay." He agreed and pulled my hands into his. "I'm sorry. I just don't like the thought of losing you either."

"You're not." I sighed and gripped his hands tightly for a second then took a step closer to him. "I promise, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. But we don't have to decide all of this tonight. I do like the idea of having your last name when I have the baby, but this was also the same day my ex-boyfriend's attorney showed up. As much as I hate to admit it, too much has happened today."

"You need some rest." He decided with a quick nod before a curious little smile crossed his features. I suddenly worried about it, wondering what was going on in that very gorgeous head of his. No doubt, something that was going to scare the bejesus out of me. "Do you trust me?"

I blinked in surprise at his question but nodded slowly anyway. "For right now, yes. Why?"

The smile on Jasper's face was suddenly blinding as he leaned forward to kiss me then abruptly turned me around before I could even think to kiss him back. "Don't worry. I just need to know that you trust me. I'm just going to let Alice have a little fun, that's all."

"Oh hell." I muttered, my head falling back briefly before I let him push me toward our bedroom. "I knew I was gonna regret admitting that."


End file.
